13 TINY TALES ON RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

Because kindness is our only sword to save humanity, here are 13 tiny tales on random acts of kindness...

1. "One evening I was home and was going through my contacts. I saw the name of a woman who used to come at our place for help I just asked myself "You can help this woman by sending a small amount maybe she needs it now." I did send her some money and I called her to say hi and tell her that I sent something for her. Imagine I couldn't believe that amount could mean so much to her. She told me her baby was sick and they had nothing to eat at home. That night I cried so much coz of happiness.And I was crying that day coz i got the chance to make someone happy😥😥😥😥😥😥❤ it means the world to see someone happy and crying because of you..."

2. "This one day it was ramadhan... 3 kids came asking for food but there wasn't anything...so mama wanted to give them food but only a small amount had remained and wouldn't be enough for all three. Plus he had kept the food aside for my young nephew. My nephew was there so he told mum "I'll eat with them but right now I am not even hungry. When they come again just give them the food I will fast."

3. "Back in my madrasa days, there was this ustadh of ours who used to walk from likoni to kibokoni to teach us. He wasn't well off compared to other teachers but  he was the most sweet and helpful of them all. He used to care for us, motivate us,teach us about good morals. So I used to put my break time money in his pocket without him knowing.I did it for weeks I guess unfortunately he caught me one day and asked me, "why you doing this?" I just said "you need it more than I do ustadh." He just told me you don't have to do that. You need to eat so that you can grow. He is one of my heroes...

4. "When I was young I had a homeless kid as my best friend. I used to share food with him, play with him, i used to take him home and shower. We didn't have much back then but I used to share my plate with him. Whenever I go to school I used to take anjera to him under the masjid stairs where he used to live. I used to cry every evening when my mum calls me back home because I loved him and I felt helpless at that time. He was my friend and I couldn't do anything for him. One day he just got lost.It broke my heart.I mean I don't know where he went. He wasn't there under the masjid stairs... We used to dream together. When I came from Madrasa he used to wait for me downstairs then we'd go to the beach just to swim and chill and talk. He wanted to be a pilot and i wanted to own the plane."

5. "There is that time a classmate was stressing over school fees. He missed out on bursary that term and if he didn't come up with 10k he couldn't do the exams. I had 1k in my pocket. You know what I did? That evening when everyone was going home I stood in front them at the gate and pleaded for their help. I was so nervous but everyone was helpful. We managed to come up with 10k. It was amazing."

6. "I had a close friend; a bit younger than me, but I liked her and considered her like my baby sister... we'd talk quite often. Then came a time we just drifted apart and I couldn't get to her. She had changed her number I guess. So many moths later, I came to understand of the reason why she'd cut me off (which was actually something beyond both of us). I really cried that day because it was not worth it. I was hurt but then I decided I won't let my ego take charge. I was going to do something for her which in turn would give me peace in both my heart and soul. I tracked down her new number and sent her an anonymous gift via another friend and we made sure it could never link back to me. Alongside the gift, I wrote a few tiny notes, just motivational ones on life and all for her. Another friend of mine told me of how she had met her on that same day she received the gift and how much she had really cried and said, "she needed to hear those words". A few days after I sent the gift, she contacted me. I was worried she had found out that I was the one who had sent the gift but that was not the case. She said she had dreamt of me and that I've been in her mind lately. So we talked a bit. She contacted me a few days later and we had a longer conversation. She wanted us to be friends like before...and that's when I mentioned that the gift was from me...I swear her reaction was priceless" (Below is the second party's version)

7. "It is normal to feel down, lost, unwanted and rejected...well that's what I was feeling for couple of days until this day when I got a call from some place that I had a parcel.I couldn't make it that moment so it was a later thing .I went to pick it up.It was a gift from someone I didn't know who that time, a pair of shoes and pieces of notes that meant world to me. I couldn't help it, curiosity was at maximum, I read the notes and opened the gift inside the matatu. I cried all the way, I was touched.I was so much thankful, in one way or the other I didn't expect it from the actual sender,because of some broken issues but there, Alhamdulilah I was really consoled."

8. "So I was going to Eastleigh with some friends of mine. When we got into the mat, we noticed, every time young school children would come into the mat, they would walk straight to a post to stand and hold on tight. And we started asking each other why they were just standing around the matatu..so I called one of them over and asked why he was standing, and he said he has no fare. And I was shocked. The Eastleigh conductors let kids get on the matatus to get home free of charge, provided they stand though. Although this was nice of them, they didn't really sit well considering how rough these "manyangas" get driven. Standing in one as an adult is a struggle in itself. So I told all the kids to sit and I would pay for them.When they were getting off, one of them said thank you to me and I honestly felt so nice..."

9. "So two years ago, I lost my scholarship. You can imagine, it was a stressful and depressing moment of my life. It was not just about losing my scholarship but also failing in my studies. It brought a lot of doubts in my head. I could not tell people at home and I seriously had no idea what to do. During those trying moments, four of the many friends I have were really there for me. They put up with my awful moods, my attitude... they encouraged me and help stand up again. I was financially disable and because I did not had the courage to tell people at home what was happening, they took it upon themselves to make sure I have my basic needs, got pocket money and I was having fun. At the same time, one of them held a harambee for my fees for that semester, $750 anonymously. And when I last got the courage to talk to my family about it, they were there and made sure I was okay. If it were not for them, I would have killed myself or worse, stop pursuing my dreams. But they believed in me, and found ways to make me believe in me. I can't repay them for that and what they continue to do for me to date; but Allah is the Just...am sure He will pay them Justly, thus I pray for that."

10. "My mother has always been my biggest inspiration to kindness (and maybe this is why parents should really take note on what their children pick from them)...She has done a lot (may Allah reward her with jannah) but one story still touches my heart deeply. A long time ago, we had a male house help. My mother helped him revert to Islam and taught him about Islam. So after some years working with us, his sister dies, leaving two orphans; young boys. So everyday, the house help would come home with them because they didn't have someone to take care of them except their old grandma. My mum enrolled them into madrasa and after classes he would sit and teach them or let them play around. A time came, the house help left without notice or goodbye. Maybe for greener pastures. But so, the two boys were used to coming home so they'd still come. My mum never told them not to come again since their uncle had done a mistake. She went on to teach them and taking them to madrasa and in the evening they'd go to their grandma. Years later, the house help came back and apologized. He said, "Everywhere I go, I realize there is no human like you. I kept talking about how good you are to all my bosses until they wanted to know who you are. I can never forget how you took care of my nephews despite me leaving without any communication. And if there is any person I can predict paradise for them then it's you..." To date, the house help still comes back home. He goes to work in other places but he always found his way back home. Oh yeah, and he still has the mashaf (qur'an) mum gave him when he first converted. And he repeats this too many times, "Mum, I can never forget your kindness..."

11. "One day, just after sunset, a boy went out to buy some groceries for his mum. That day's order though could only be found at the grocery stores  near the boarding stage, a fairly distant place. It was on a weekend so most of the grocery shops were closed and the ones that weren't, we're out of stock.

"Great. Just great" he thought to himself

After a fruitless search, he was left with a final try that he'd give up after. It was a sizable grocer that stood on the edge of the road a few minutes in from the stage. It was next to a charcoal supply shop characterized by the mixture of finely and pebble sized charcoal spread over that whole section of the road. The grocery's light illuminated it's front side just enough to see the set of rigid bricks meant to be the stairs.

As he got closer to the shop, he saw a white figure amidst the sea of ground charcoal. It was curled up into a small shape. People were barely missing their footing on it. A Boda Boda then rode passed it almost running it over. It was a kitten. He walked for the shop and threw his eyes at it once more. It was scared, eyes wide open with fear, frozen, as he watched it exist motionless among the numerous feet and exclamations of passersby and the horns of speedy motorbikes

He walked to the shop. A relief for they had the last batch of his order. He bought in smiles. He also bought a batch of Omena. He took his change and walked back to the kitten. He opened a bag and poured almost all of it just at the edge of the road, called the kitten in that common tongue noise and watched as the life flow back into it, as the fear in its eyes being replaced with wonder, slowly it moved towards the pile of raw fish and pounced at it with gratifying hunger.

He smiled thinking what the kitten must have been thinking at that moment. He fed every cat he saw on his way back that night and left just enough of the batch for those cats that always find their way to their compound. They ate gracefully as well.."

12. "There was this one time I was going to Nairobi just for a day to get some of my things at a friend's house. But it turned out that he was in Mombasa so I couldn't stay at his place (he was living at his aunt's in Nairobi). So he told his other friend (who is also my friend) to receive me. So he calls me and says he'd be my host. I arrive in Nairobi at some minutes past 5 in the morning. It's cold. And he comes with a taxi. We greet each other and ask how we've been (it was a while since I last saw him). Anyway, he's like "you know, I won't take you to my room. Let's go to a hotel." I was like "okay!😄" and the taxi drops us off at Eastleigh where we start walking around looking for a hotel. It was still dark and we are alone so I was slightly apprehensive.

All of the hotels were fully booked, I was kinda bummed out coz I was becoming tired and dragging that luggage was becoming a pain. But we finally found a room, it was just from being checked out and we had to wait for 20 minutes for it to be cleaned out for us. But it was kinda expensive (for a student). My friend had to pay 5k for one night. So I was kinda worried and said "dude are you sure? If it's gonna inconvenience you it's okay we can just stay at your messy room" And he said, "I'm doing this for the sake of Allah. I believe that if I spend it on others in a good way, He'll give me more in return" Naturally I was touched by this, so I agreed and made a silent prayer for him that he succeeds in this life and the next. We spent the day roaming around town while he treated me to lunch. It was a really good day, and I promised myself that I would never forget his kindness and that I would repay him somehow in the future. The hotel is called regent hotel or something. It was really really nice. The room had dstv and all that. Plus it was big; Double bed room. Weh I felt like a prince. I keep remembering him. Still haven't come round to making it up to him. But I pray for him well."

13. "There was a time at my workplace, an old man came by to have his phone checked for repair. So I usually work upstairs and it was only by chance I came down and saw him standing; confused. He was really old, frail and weak. So I asked him what he needed and he said he wanted his phone repaired soonest, that he needed it immediately if possible because he was sick and some relatives kept sending him some money to help him around. I took the phone and handed it to the one in charge, who agreed to check it out immediately. After the phone was repaired, I took it to the old man who was really relieved. I then gave him 1k and told him, "I hope this helps you..." The man was really really grateful. He said lots of prayers for me then left and I thought that was the end of the story. 

The next day, he came to the office again, but since I was upstairs and didn't know my name, he couldn't find me. He tried asking about me but my workmates didn't understand whom he was talking about. The following day he came once again and my workmate decided to ask me if I knew the old man. Going downstairs, it was him. He said he came to thank me once again. That from the money I gave him he got to book a ticket to Kisumu, back to his family. He asked for my number and promised to send me omena and unga from there. He then said, "Because of what you've done i'll become a Muslim." I just thought it was a by the way but when he got there he did call me to say he arrived safely. After a few days he called again just to greet me. Then on another day, his son was the one who called to say that his father was in hospital and had requested to talk to me. We talked and his voice seemed so frail and weak. 

A few days later, fajr time I received a call from his son; the old man had passed away. But he had left a message for me. That he wants to be buried in a plain white cloth without the coffin (sanda). I asked his son, "Had he converted to Islam?" He said, "There was a time he requested that we bring a sheikh to him, so there is that probability." I decided to ask the son to go to the nearest mosque and let me talk to the imam, of which I did and we had arrangements that he is buried in Islam. Even after his death, his family members called, thanked me and still wanted to send me the omena and unga as promised by the old man but I didn't see the need so I rejected politely. Nonetheless, I really hope that the man did indeed die a Muslim..."

Dear You...If you can't find any good in this world, then be the one to do it. It doesn't have to be 'Mahatma Gandhi' or 'Maria Theresa' big, it just has to be sincere. Do good to people. Try everyday. Make it a habit. A routine. Be kind. Be kind again and again. Making a difference in just one life is invaluable so never underestimate the effect of your actions and words.

Great appreciation to those who sent in their tales. God bless you...

You are welcome to comment any other stories of kindness below here ;)

NEVER STOP WORKING ON YOURSELF

Photo Courtesy: http://cdn.tinybuddha.com

You are the biggest project of your life, the most important project of your life and you, YOU are the best person to tackle this project. Wear that neat suit, put on your shades, clear the dust on your shoes, have your sketch plan ready. Spread it on your desk, have a cup of delicious coffee beside you and start working on it. Don't turn around, don't hesitate, don't doubt; start and the rest will flow. Work on your goals, go for your dreams, explore your inner self and make this project the best project in your life. Because you; there is never going to be another amazing human YOU anywhere in the world.

Be the mechanic of your life. Tighten the bolts in your brain. Wipe away the grease in your heart. Mend what needs to be mended and add the spare parts that are needed.

Slice out the unnecessary traits in you like the way the best chef would slice out his meat. Decorate yourself with humility, with kindness, with patience like the way Master chef would decorate his plate, then add salt pinches of compassion to that like saltbae does.

Invest in yourself. My dear, invest in yourself because no one will ever invest in you like you would do to yourself. Invest in your time, in money, in love; especially love. Invest it all on yourself like you are the princess that was born today. Treat yourself, do what makes you happy and let that smile never disappear from your face.

Fix your body. Fix your health. Fix your lifestyle. Go for a walk or a run. Go to the gym. Go to the beach and let the breeze hit your face. Eat healthy. Workout. Do yoga. Find peace. Discover yourself. Find God.

Paint yourself like you are the best artwork that ever existed. Paint it like you are flawless. Let the brush strike swiftly, with so much love and passion for yourself. Let it standout in a room of art, in an exhibition; be the best piece of art ever.

You are the best project remember? If cake is what you understand the most, then mix those recipes of ambition, of faith, of hope, of dedication, of change...let then become the best mixture of you. Let you become the best cake ever. Add glitter to it. Glitter of prayer, of love, of realness.

Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath again. Feel the air get to your lungs. Feel yourself. Then let it go. Let it all go. The worry, the past, the negative thoughts, the sadness, the anger, the frustration, the helplessness. Yes it is not easy. Yes it will need consistency. Everything needs consistency. So start it now. Start by forgiving yourself for the past, for your helplessness, for your imperfections. Now start working on yourself. Scrutinize your actions, your thoughts, your words... Talk to God. Talk to God again and again and again. Never get tired. Dedicate yourself to yourself. Make YOU be the best YOU that could ever exist. And when you start, never stop. Never ever stop working on yourself!!

---

P.S here's a new project for us all. I'm trying to collect short stories of kindness and/or of humanity. Tell me your story. Tell me how you once did something that made someone so happy and in turn made you happy. Tell me about the small thing you did, the help, the hand you gave, the difference you made however small it may have felt. Tell me of kind messages that restores someone's hope or a surprise gift that made someone jump in joy. It's the small actions of kindness I am looking for. On the other hand, you may have been on the receiving hand. The one who was helped when in dire need, the one who was granted a smile by a stranger, the one whose day got better after a small action of kindness. That story too; I need it. The aim of this project is to inspire people on small acts of kindness, the importance of it in our lives and how it impacts the people. So don't hesitate to send me a piece. Plus, I will keep all stories as anonymous. Just short paragraphs 1 -3 at most, nothing too long. Just drop it at my inbox (My FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Strokes-of-my-pen-409229692610588/) anytime. In shaa Allah by next week if i'd have received enough i'll post here in my blog.

 Let's make a difference. Let's be the difference

CIRCUS AT THE GOVERNMENT PUBLIC OFFICES

So it's my third day in this particular government public office. I've been here the past two days, I wasn't able to get served fully which brought me back the third day. Nothing astonishing right? On this day, I decided I will be an early bird at the office. By 8:30 I was there and sat comfortably next to four other young people. It kinda elevated my morale knowing that i'd soon be done with the whole frustrating process.

So, a man was being served when the printer suddenly jammed. The lady official graciously stood up from her seat to the printer and started clicking the buttons randomly.

"Eish na hii imejam," she says as she continues to play around with the printer buttons. Unsuccessfully, she goes back to her seat and fidgets with her computer now. She calls one of her colleagues who takes over the dissecting of the printer like an experimental guinea pig. He pulls out the lower tray of the printer, peeps inside then returns it. The old lady (probably in her 50's) goes back to her sit, relaxes back comfortably as she swings her chair and starts swiping her phone upwards with a smile plastered on her lips.

It gets to one hour past. The man is still 'trying to do something' and the queue is now queuing. Everyone is becoming rather restless now.

"Kwani hamuna spare tire nyi watu?" (Don't you have a spare 'tire'you people)

The lady is still swinging comfortably on her chair. The man says something, she wakes up and they start discussing on what they should do.

"Tuende?" (Should we go?) Another young man shouts from behind.

No response.

"Tuendee?"

No response.

"TUENDEEEE?!!! Sisi bana hatuwezi poteza mda wote hapa." (We can't waste all our time here)

We all start laughing at his tone. 

"We can't do anything," she says in a vague way. We couldn't even get it whether she was talking to us or to herself. All in all, she had said what she needed to. They have given up.

The 'tuende' guy loses his cool and walks away.

Like we don't even exist, the lady graciously walks to her desk, takes a beautiful green scarf and puts it on her shoulder, picks a paper bag, goes to another drawer and removes a small jar. She is going for breakfast.

"Hallo?! what kind of public office is this? How can you just leave?" A young man behind me starts getting worked up. The lady ignores and disappears into the staircase.

"Government offices have always had the worst service eveer," An elderly lady says.

"These people are not serious. Some of us have been here since 7 then you expect us to leave now then come back again?! Hiyo fare iko wapi?! (Where is the fare for that?)

He walks aggressively to the man.

The man is still ttttrrryiiinggg...

"Some of us have to travel. We have to finish this NOW," he continues complaining. But the poor man is still tryiiiiiinggg :D

Angrily, the young man storms out, "I can't do this anymore!"

I smile to myself, sit back comfortably, specs pushed forward. Oh well, isn't this the best place to just scrutinize human behaviour under pressure?! Should have brought my notebook with me :D

After the young man stormed out, several others followed behind. With empty seats now ahead of me, I turn to the lady beside me, "Move forward to the next seat, lest someone else takes our numbers in the queue."

"What for?" Her back slumped even way lower than mine, "Nothing is happening here."

I laugh. And the young man on my left side chuckles.

"I'm just being optimistic. Subira huvuta heri (Patience pays)" I laugh at how ridiculous that sounds at this moment. It's already past two hours and no one has been served. The young man on my left backs me up, "Yes, let's just wait a little more."

Our lady grace, queen of the office arrives from her breakfast. She takes her time. No hurry in Africa my friend. Slowly she gets to her desk and asks the poor man who is still TRYING, "Not yet?"

"Nop."

She stands next to him for a moment, they discuss once again, before she takes a seat again; picks her phone and starts smiling.

"We unacheka tu hapo sisi roho zinatuuma," (Another young man behind me whispers) We all start laughing.

The other young man next to him joins in, only he was ready with grenade-like insults for the lady. He insulted her, her mother, back to her and I almost thought he would insult her entire ancestry in a moment. Then he just decided to zip it up with, "dem ni dem tu" (A woman is just a woman) and in my mind i'm thinking, "Really now?! How does being an insensitive worker have anything to do with being a woman?" :D I would have told him that but oh well, I really didn't want my children to be insulted before they are even born, so I'd just swallow it up.

The poor man still TRYING, decides to call another colleague in the office and request for his printer. So he left and in a few minutes, he was back, climbing down the stairs steadily with the printer over-weighing him.

The two young men and lady in front of me are all staring at the man carrying the printer. One looks back at me and we start laughing. We are thinking of the same thing :D Like <em>finally! but then what if it doesn't work? :D</em>

But then the man, as if reading our minds, says, "If this doesn't work, you guys are jinxed."

Laughter again. But then we are all getting too anxious. Three hours, no one has been served.

The other printer is set and the our lady grace queen of the office tries to print one of the forms. It agrees. Everyone is hurrah! Finally! But the fellow colleague interrupts, "The form hasn't printed out the words properly. Try again"

Wait. What?!

Another form is printed. It is not okaaayyy!! Something is wrong again!

The cursing starts again. A few more clicks of the tongue here and there.

The poor man, who deserves the award of the month for his patience, decides to seek help from someone else. Soon enough, two older men with that official look came. They start looking into the printer. Removes some wires here and there. Puts some more forms in the tray then tries printing again.

"These small sized forms, it is always better when they are in large quantities," one of them says. The printer works. Finally! We should be having that confetti moment right now. But wait. Seems like the office is full of surprises, we may just as well cross our fingers until served.

"But this is so wrong," the other old official man cuts in. "You should have informed me about this way earlier."

"You know, we thought it won't take this long," Lady grace the queen says so humbly now.

"Even so...this is wrong. You have kept the customers for too long and it is not good," he then turns to us, "Really sorry about this. Really sorry." 

Oh. Finally someone apologizes.

"Thank you," I nod excessively. I mean, don't people understand the great effect of apologizing?!

The man turns back to her again, "Next time, anything like this happens you should refer them to Huduma centre."

She nods pitifully, "By the way, those who are in a hurry can go to Huduma now."

HAHAHA. Are you kidding me? Have you seen that endless wavy line that is at Huduma since 7 a.m. in the morning? The queues actually look like the ants are taking a trip to somewhere so cool like the moon or like children going for a field trip and they have to make those chain lines to ensure no one gets lost :D Only that public offices is nothing cool like the moon or even the field. No ma'am. I'll wait.

The two older men leave and we finally start getting served. Oh but guess what? The lady grace (Grace is not her name by the way :D I mean grace by her poise :D ) insists to ruin my day despite my anger management goals of 2017.

"Let all those who've got receipts come first."

WHAT!!

Quickly, another long line was formed by those having receipts while we; the early birds, the starving-from-hunger-due-to-lack-of-breakfast, the I-was-here-when-it-all-started, we were just left there to rot on our seats *sob sob* And then people wonder how psychos because pyschos; of course it is like this. With all that hunger and fatigue, we could all start a strike right there and then :D So all we do now is complain, "This is not fair", "Most of them have just arrived now", "How can you do this woman"

Then comes in this tall, pretty pretty young lady, looking so fresh and neat. She takes a separate seat aside. Another worker from the office comes to her and does the whole process for her. In about 20 minutes she is done and there she is, elegantly walking out. And you can't even get angry anymore so you just say, "Okay. The rest of us who are thugly (thin and ugly :D) can just wait and rot right here. I'll just wait" :/

I anxiously now start swinging my left leg restlessly. The line of the receipt guys is not ending and at this moment even doing the 'Ommm!' to calm the nerves won't work.

To make matters worse, the lady grace is working single-handedly and taking her sweet time at it. Whispers of complaints still going on around me. Well, you want to learn how to manage your anger? Come to such offices my friend. You will have a good battle with your demons while at it.

Another worker comes in and takes a seat on the next desk beside the lady and he starts serving us; the abandoned children of Jerusalem :D Hurrah! I am third in line. At this point, I don't even want to wink. Ready and steady. No distractions. No one should dare take my place. When my turn comes, I quickly take a seat. Let's just end this please. The worker starts typing my details quick. At least he is faster than lady Grace, I say to myself. Then I notice two dead houseflies on the desk with a little distance between them. Who knows what is the sad story of these poor tiny houseflies? Maybe they've been waiting for this man to come with some food and pour some drops on the desk so they can have some meal? Poor them. Must have waited as long as I did. Rest in peace dear housy and housy 2. Or should we call the other Housier, considering that maybe it was a she? RIP Housy and Housier. The world is surely going to miss you two.

Then my mourning session is suddenly interrupted. 

"Ai, kwani imeanza kuleta shida tena?" Lady grace says.

WHAAAATTTT NOWWWWW?!!!

She goes to the printer and peeps.

God...why am I so jinxed? I am the reason all this havoc happened? Oh God...but whyyy?!! Oh God please I repent right now. *crying emoji*

"Okay okay...it is working."

Whoof woman! Kwani were you sent to do all you can to test my anxiety hormones today?! Jeez!!

My card is printed! After four hours! Alhamdulilah! Don't ask me how fast I was already leaving that office when I heard lady grace call out, "Hey young lady! Come back. That is not your card" :D :D

:D :D :D Okay relax. That last bit was just from my imagination. Thank God it didn't happen? Coz I think i'd have ended up beating up lady grace's face beyond recognition. I mean, all that karate kid watching can do some good nah? :D ;)

BEING A HALAMEE

...And how my 1 year in madrasa changed my perspective of things

Just a few weeks after my graduation, I decided 2016 would be my year; the year to discover myself, to challenge my abilities, the year to heal and let go, the year to get to my higher self so I decided to join madrasa again. It had been more than 5 years since I was in a madrasa class but I decided this would be my new year resolution. I quickly registered for the diploma in Islamic studies and went ahead to get my goal done.

It was quite strange for people at first. Those criticisms started coming.
"First class honors? Aren't you supposed to be at KTN anchoring and killing people with that smile?"
"What about your masters? Don't you want to do your masters?"
Then came the concern.
"But why are you doing this anyway? Be a teacher?"...I am doing this for myself and that is enough reason.
"Isn't it too far for you?"
Then came the pettiness.
"Aren't you the girl who spends all her time on the internet?" (Apparently this makes me a haramee so going for deen studies quite conflicts my journalistic career lol)
But the pettiness has always been there.
"Ustadha mzima wavaa hizi vitu?" (Hizi vitu: the luminous bracelets)
"If you; a Muslim union official wears a cap, what do you expect from us?" (This was during a sports events; all women, the cap on my hijab but still, it makes me a haramee somehow :D)
"You are too obsessed with sneakers" ( *rolls eyes* This somehow makes me like a gangster and gangsters barely get to jannah you know :D )

Then, my friend, don't you dare make mistake, or say a wrong word, or the wrong joke. Have I insisted enough? No wait. DO NOT DARE MAKE A MISTAKE because both the haramees and halalees are going to judge you. Because once you do, the haramees will call you a silent killer, a pretentious little devil. The halalees will quote from the qur'an and hadith. They will quote fatawas of Bin Baaz and talk about Sheikh Annawawy. You, my friend, you are NOT allowed to make a mistake. They will send you pdfs and long emails on how wrong you are. They will condemn people like you; people who talk about faith and truths people didn't even want to hear, then make a mistake. Buddy, you are NOT allowed to be human.

A moment of silence people. A moment of silence to all the petty people :D :D :D

But then I was forced to accept that as a writer and a journalist, you are putting a part of yourself to the world out there. Not everyone will like you or what you say and write. You will get positive remarks but also lots of negative ones and you just had to accept both and learn how to be yourself.

So for the longest time in my life, I was the girl who was too haramee (the ones breaking the rules of religion) for the halalees (the ones who are very pious; jannah material straight away :D ) and too halalee for the haramees. So I was right at the middle. I had friends on both sides. Some haramees would sometimes be the go-getters, the ambitious souls who just won't allow life to bring them down. They became my source of inspiration. And halalees, people who would always bring you closer to Allah. But then I didn't just belong anywhere. You sit with the haramees and they talk of how judgmental the halalees are. How they pretend to be so perfect and straight. Then they'll refer to them as, "Those friends of yours nkt...they are so judgmental" and I would be quick to jump in and say, "That is just inferiority complex" because as much as some are judgmental, sometimes, the halalees haven't even told them anything. It's just their guilty conscious making them feel attacked even before they are.
Then when i'd sit with the halalees, they'd start talking of how someone did something wrong or messed up and i'd jump in, "You guys don't give people the benefit of doubt or just try and understand how our backgrounds and lives are so different...sometimes people are just so neglected they get lost." As such, I barely had any long-term friendships with people. They expected me to fit in; I just simply didn't and it bothers them when you are different. I believed and still believe in seeing the good in each and every single person so I interacted according to what each human being had to offer and filter out the rest. So when 2016 began, I was ready to explore my higher self and this, changed my perspective of things in a great way.

Upon joining the college, I realized again, that it would be hard to fit in. Being in an environment with people who are very-well covered from head to toe, ladies who don't even go out without a mahram, they rarely even have phones. So here I was again, the haramee; the social media noise maker, the too English, the too opinionated & educated, the non-niqabi, the girl who is always typing (Too much dunya you know :D ). But they were beautiful souls; the kind to inspire you be a better person and change your ways. Sometimes they just look at you or comment on something you have done and you feel attacked, so here I was, thinking like a haramee. They are judging me. But then it is just the battle between the soul and the brain. How to accept opinions and change. And yes, sometimes they'll judge you because they are humans too; making mistakes.

And you are in a class environment with very educated lecturers who tell you of how they were in their jahilliyya periods; how they also did mistakes before finding their way. Teachers who keep reminding you that even as a deen seeker, you are never to be rough to those who may be lost. In an environment where young men debate about important issues and you just realize, yes, there are some good men out there who are only after their akhera.

Slowly, I came to see them making mistakes and you get to notice the human part of them. You see them complain and sad sometimes. You see them planning their halaal outings and having fun their own way. My perspective started to change and I realized something interesting about us human beings.

That we are all desperate human beings trying to be right in this messed up life. We all seek what our heart desires but at the end of the day there is no us or them. There is just WE; all of us having that little devil inside of us. Sometimes it gets the better of us and conquers our souls and we do wrong things, and sometimes our imaan is high and alive and we conquer our ego. There is no haramee or halalee per se because there are some haramees who are actually doing so much good to other people despite their rebelliousness to deen. And there are halalees who are so attached to the deen yet have no character to deal with people. We are all kinda messed up so we create squads and think we are the better humans just so we can satisfy our egos. We are all a combination of haramee and halalee at the same time. We just choose which one to make it visible as our image. It's all about everyone's personal journey to their higher self; some are still at the first step, some at the fifth, some have reached the peak while some haven't started yet. Maybe this is why we should be kind and more empathetic to people; let us try see the good in them despite how annoying and evil they may seem. Forgive people and judge them not. Let God be the judge, but still, pray for yourself and for others. Pray for guidance and understanding. Pray for a beautiful end that would lead to all of us be in jannah together.

Yes, I am a halamee.
I am the haramee who is on the path to being a halalee.
I am still on my journey to getting to my higher self :)

P.S Munawwarah college has now started a bachelors of arts in Islamic studies after partnering with International University of Africa. They also offer diploma in teaching Arabic and Islamic studies, diploma in arabic language, certificate in Arabic, certificate in Islamic studies and by the way, ICDL (International Computer Driving License) course too.

You need to find yourself? Find Allah first.

You can contact the college at: 0735 559 095 or check their website at: info@almunawwarah.ac.ke

ISLOVERIA IT IS!

   Photo Courtesy: http://assets.lbc.co.uk/

You just GOTTA watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxhGjDyBT30 to the very end! :D :D Kindly excuse the foul language used though :P (couldn't post it here due to copyright issues).

Well, we all know what is happening right now around the world and how Trump is trying to act like a mini-god. It was expected, but still, never to this extent.

Nonetheless, like Hassan said up there in the video, I don't really know if I hate Trump. I mean, look at all these protests, all these people standing up for Muslims, all the leaders, influential people and the minorities standing together for people they once very much hated. It used to be Islamophobia. Muslims living in such a strained manner (as we say it here, wanapimiwa pumzi lol). Ladies being insulted for their hijab. Men having a difficult time to even perform salah. They couldn't even comfortably say 'Allahu akbar (which by the way just means God is great) or 'Ya Shabaab' (young men) in public without being arrested or insulted or looked at in a bizarre manner. They couldn't board the planes, trains and buses like other citizens because the beard and the hijab always appear on the spotlight. They couldn't give their opinions because 'hey, you look like Al-qaeda'.

And here we are now. ISLOVERIA IT IS. (Should I call it the extreme Love for Islam and Muslims? I just made it up :D

                                             Photo Courtesy: http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/

Non Muslim ladies wearing hijab to show solidarity with the refugees. Here we are, people asking more about Islam like never before, just because 'If the hateful Trump goes to these far extents to bring down Muslims, then there must be something powerful about them'. Here we are, all kind of people from all walks of life coming together to stand against the ban. People losing their jobs for standing against the ban. Here we are, powerful people speaking for the minority groups. Here we are, Muslims praying openly at the airport! Did you hear that?!! OPENLY. Yes, saying Allahu akbar at every rakaa of the prayer while many non Muslims stand behind them. God! Isn't that what we've wanted in like forever? The co-existence, the love, the harmony, the solidarity!

Trump may be bringing a lot of chaos but nonetheless, he is doing the world more good than he even comprehends. This reminds me of the aya in the holy qur'an: “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (AI-Baqarah, 2:216).

Let's hope that we (the citizens of the world) can keep coming together for the sake of peace and humanity. Let's hope that we are never shaken by Trump's storms and instead, make the best out of it all. Let's hope that we can keep restoring each other's faith in humanity. God! I just love this! <3