MOMBASA WOMEN OF VIGOR

Photo courtesy: https://historiamolim6000.files.wordpress.com

Just before Gulf African Bank hosted their women empowerment event at Whitesands in Mombasa, I came across a comment in one of the posts and someone was saying something like, 'Why would Gulf take such an event to Mombasa instead of Nairobi where people will surely attend?' My jaw almost dropped. Excuse me? Really now? Are you even for real??! LOL Don't Mombasa women deserve a chance to learn, network and get empowered too?!!

For so long we've been hearing of how Mombasa people are always waiting for Manna from the sky, or of how the women have nothing better they can do than get married early, adorn themselves all the time and attend weddings in a fashion-competitive way. For so long we've been undermined, underestimated and under-rated...but not anymore. We are not going to accept it anymore! Now we say, Enough is Enough!!

Okay maybe it is true. Maybe our grandmas sat at home and never ventured enough into tapping into their talents and areas of expertise. Maybe they weren't as educated as we are, maybe they had different priorities than we do, maybe they failed in some places, maybe they lacked focus at some point...But still, this is not exactly true. Since way back, Mombasa women have been bringing on the table way more than 'the man of the house' in many houses. Go to these areas heavily populated with original Swahili women and the Mombasa folks, look at them, ask about them. You will see mothers waking up at the crack of dawn, cooking mahamri or uji or whatever it is, to sell and earn money. You will witness single mothers educating their children at the cost of not just their sweat but happiness too. You will find women whose husbands left a long time ago with no return. You will find women sacrificing all they have to provide for their children because their father hasn't yet brought money from Suudiya, or is a drug addict or is unemployed. You will see them going door to door to sell you whatever business they could get hold of at that moment. You will know of women who belong to rich families yet decided to follow their path and make their own money. For someone else, it is easy to undermine her effort but she is doing something isn't she? She is cooking, she is sewing, she is mending...just because she isn't a degree holder swinging around her chair in an office, does that make her lazy? Despicable? Unwanted? A by-the-way woman?? Just because she doesn't hold a fancy name to her business, just because she is doing it with her own hands instead of importing from Dubai and Malaysia...just because that is the only knowledge they have of, does that make her effort, any less??

So on Wednesday and Thursday, I was at the Gulf Bank women empowerment workshop and I was amazed, or rather, the event was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I was there doing what I do best; observing people, and I realized how much this perception of Mombasa women and Mombasa folks generally is really under-rating our efforts, talents and intelligence.

There I was with over a hundred women from Mombasa; talking of empowerment, of business, of goals, of rise and fall. Here were women, each one having a story to tell. And yes, they are from Mombasa. Successful business ladies who people never bother to acknowledge their efforts, their passion and determination. Here were women with registered and unregistered businesses. Here were women making a difference.

I look at Banu Khan from UN women; with all her positive energy, her vigor, her charm, her confidence my God, she could move mountains in you. Then I look at Tahia Tajdin as she talks about audits and how to be tax compliant. And she goes a step ahead to explain critical elements we always assume and ignore. And she was there, so good at the math I was marveled. We ended up calling her 'Madam Tax' :D I listen to Zeinab Sheikh of Zeiruq Agency giving her journey to success; her very inspiring story from zero to millions almost got me to tears. I listen to how much she repeats the words, 'Prayers...I just had prayers'...before ending it with; 'God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggle and a gift for your faithfulness' and it hit me so hard! This woman is a believer (God bless her soul) and in her words was so much to contemplate about. And hey! These women are from Mombasa!! Why doesn't anyone acknowledge that? Why doesn't anyone acknowledge 'mama Makuti' who started a business of selling mangoes with only 300/= until now she runs her own construction business which awards her tenders worth millions? Or of these aggressive upcoming young ladies doing a lot for themselves and for the community too? Why aren't we remembered for producing inspiring ladies like Ms Nawal Mohammed, first female board member of Gulf, or of the two female branch managers of Gulf out of 5 branches in Mombasa? Why doesn't anyone give us a pat on the back for women like Laila of Soul Sisters Network, or of Fatma Mazrui of Nitume Online or Jamila El-Jabry of Life in Mombasa, of Nafisa Khanbhai of Dear Diary Initiative, of the ladies running 'Inshape fitness', of all these ladies participating in community events at Mombasa Toa Donge Lako and many other groups, of Binti Naji; the lady with an ocean of wisdom and intellect I never get enough of her...of Waridi and her magnificent aura of confidence running her business 'Waridi fashions'? I mean, if I continue writing these names, will I ever end it today? In a crowd of over 100 women, almost ALL were running businesses of their own. Of all kinds and shapes. Women of different tribes and religions. And there are MANY MANY more out there. Trying. Building their dreams one at a time silently. Of course not; not a day, not two days will be enough.

I work with ladies who are constantly researching about business markets, they have dreams and goals. I have lived with such women. I have interacted with them. I have seen them. I am one of them.

These ladies need a genuine round of applause; a heavy one with confetti to cream it up; for being go-getters, for striving too hard, for so much sacrifice, for so much dedication...and for persevering a bad attitude on Mombasa women; yet they have proved everyone wrong.

I remember when I first attended the Gulf event, I wasn't even speaking to the person next to me until she started teasing me for my 'introvertism'. By the time we had the breaks where people were networking, my colleague Rahma was the one busy telling people about my blog and praising it too much, telling everyone you can advertise on my blog and about my writing services, I almost thought it was hers instead of mine. :D The next moment I was in a round table with some four ladies when this topic on undermining Mombasa ladies came up, I was barely participating until I jumped in, 'You guys just gave me an idea to write about!' Then it all started, 'Ohh you are a blogger?!' etc etc and the next moment another lady joined us,one of the four by the name of Faiza was introducing me. She had her tone upright and straight, 'Do you know she was nominated for BAKE awards? Aha!' and she said it too well I almost asked for some attitude and confidence tips from her :D Trust me, by the time the event was ending, these ladies had given me enough inspiration to talk about myself and the little much I do. I was exchanging numbers, noting down names, sending links of my blog...and it still got me thinking, perhaps this is what we have always lacked; the push. The previous generations of Mombasa women lacked education (majority of them), they lacked opportunities, but importantly, they lacked empowerment...yet they still did great in whatever small businesses they ventured in. Let's give credit where it is due. They may have had issues with fear of taking risks and of exploring opportunities, but we have to agree that they did try. We are trying right now and we are changing!...For the better.

So from today henceforth, Mombasa women where are you? Let us put up an oath that we are never allowing anyone from anywhere to criticize, undermine or sabotage our image. The next time someone talks of how lazy and dependent we are, talk of the great Mombasa women you know. I am sure your own mother is one of them. Let us not allow ourselves be treated like women of no focus because we are not that. We are women of substance, women ready to make changes, ready to defend our reputation...women of VIGOR!!

I don't know if Gulf African Bank personnel and UN women too can ever realize how much they have impacted women's lives, not just by the 2-day workshop, but by empowering women always. Very lovely ladies like Najma Jabri, Muumina Bonaya, Wanjiru Gathira, Beatrice, the beautiful ladies of Gulf, together with the MD, Mr Abdulkhalik, the other staff & speakers mentioned above and the man of the event, Peter Pasaka... May God bless their souls for such a wonderful workshop!!

I may not be able to mention all the wonderful women who are beating all odds to get to their goals but i'll just make this shout out for everyone: To all the Mombasa women creating a difference and working very hard, I salute you!

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GOING BEYOND THE HORIZON

So there’s this new local Islamic TV station coming up and it just got me all excited. I mean, if you are a ‘90s baby or prior that, then you will totally relate to all those times you were asked to switch off the TV because ‘there is nothing for you to watch’ or you’d be pushed to go sleep early even when you are having some chronic insomnia. You will even be thoroughly encouraged to go play outside even when the heat is about to unleash its superpowers, just to avoid you from watching something inappropriate. And even as we grew up, there was so much monotony in the stations because if it isn’t ‘Soledad’ in one station then it is ‘the day of our lives’ in the next. Too much misery in the news. Too much stereotype in the real world. Finally, the Muslims have a voice.

Horizon TV it is. It is the first locally oriented Islamic television channel in the country;  a project of Tamaz Communications Limited, a company fully owned by Jamia Mosque Committee, Nairobi. With a lot of Islamophobia growing around the world, including our own country, this is a great blessing indeed. This is a wonderful platform for the non-Muslims to learn more about Islam; the true Islam and not the stereotyped one. This is the place where Muslims can acquire further knowledge. This is where we can allow our children to stay tuned to 24/7 because it is simply worth it. This is where hard issues are discussed and challenges are faced. This is where a better understanding of what Islam really is, is brought out. This is where we talk of societal issues that are yet to be talked about; the untold stories, the voices that need to be heard.

We are living in such a negative world at the moment and we really need some source of mega-positivity and inspiration. We need Islamic role models and mentors. We need to acquire knowledge in interesting ways that won’t make the students sleep in boredom. We need to move alongside the rest of the world. And technology is the answer. These visuals actually do have a greater impact than we ever think of it. And this is exactly what Horizon TV aims at: Make a positive difference in our society!

The objectives of the TV station are:

• To provide and support Da’awah activities 

• To provide the Muslim community with a platform to articulate their issues and agenda 

• To provide a platform where the masses will learn the true picture of Islam and Islamic values 

• To educate, inform and entertain the targeted audiences (primary and secondary) within Sharia parameters.

• To produce and broadcast a variety of community programs for di'erent segments of society e.g. women, 

        children, youth, within the purview with Islamic shariah.

• To facilitate broadcast of other programs whose goals and objectives are in conformity with Horizon TV.

As we approach the D-day of the launch, 24th March, we pray that this becomes a successful project that will help Muslims come together in good terms and to educate both the Muslims and Non-Muslims as well. Horizon will be hosted on Star Times, GoTv, Signet and Bamba. The TV station will cover Nairobi region for starters before expanding biidhnillah.

Ready for great things ahead in shaa Allah!!

TALK IT OUT MAYBE?

Photo Courtesy: http://www.npr.org

Dear Reader,

Did you know that effective communication is very effective?

Did you know that it does not make you any less of the man/woman you are?

That speaking out doesn't make your pizza any less tastier?

That opening up does not make you lose any body-part?

That talking honestly does not reduce the balance you have in your bank account?

Yet importantly, did you know, that most problems are caused by lack of communication?

That a lot of problems could be avoided if we actually, literally, realistically, honestly and frankly TALKED?

So my mother has always been preaching about communication, "C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.E! What do you lose when you do?" She'd say. I can almost hear her voice echoing the words :D But then isn't this something that we should actually think about more deeply?

How many ugly scenarios can we avoid if we actually talk, open up, communicate? Most of the divorces, friendship break-ups, job loss, strained family relationships are because of miscommunication, or the entire lack of it, or the failure to understand what is being communicated.

So here are several scenarios:

I have some urgent work that should be submitted by this afternoon.  I am not getting any close to finishing it by that time. It is IMPOSSIBLE to have it in time even if I had these supernatural powers of superman. But there is a client waiting for it. They will probably get mad for your lateness. They will probably blow your phone with insults. It doesn't make it much better informing them that there will be a delay. But there will be one difference; you prepared them in advance. You will have given them room to find another solution or alternative ways to deal with the situation. They might even be understanding enough to grant you some more hours to finish up what is required of you.

Your friend has messed up. It could be a small one or a big one doesn't matter. So you decide it is best to just shut them out of your life. No explanation. No goodbyes. Not even a 'You betrayed me' note lol. For real though, how do you expect someone to know how badly they've wronged you if you don't tell them so? Well, some things may be obvious. It could be an open mistake but then once you speak it out to them, you give them room to justify themselves. Okay maybe sometimes it is not worth it, but sometimes it is. Perhaps listening to them will give you a fresh new point of view that you never thought about. Perhaps, it was just a humanly slip. Perhaps they deserve another chance from you. Perhaps you may even decide to forgive them...how will you know if you have let your ego possess you and right now no one is more right than you?

So we are working on something, it's team work. Obviously at some point you and I will have different opinions or thoughts. You tell me your thoughts and I realize they are different from my own thoughts. Instead of discussing it through like adults, I decide to frown silently and just go mute. Hallo?? This is called TEAM work for a reason. Each individual is supposed to bring something on the table. Misunderstandings, differences are most probably going to happen. It's almost an obvious thing. But do you discuss it out maturely or does each individual grump silently and let the work get messed up??

You heard something about me, or something I said about you. You heard 'rumours', you heard 'grapevine' as we call it but you never bother confirm the information with me. You never inquire if it is true, if it is accurate, if there is probably a sensible justification behind it.

These scenarios are too many, they could fill up my entire website. Main point is, always try to talk it out; in fact, it should be without any persuasion. You had a bad day and it ruined your mood? Tell your husband so. Don't let him keep guessing what he did in the past twenty four hours that could have ruined your moods. You don't like what I am saying? Tell me so, in a kind way. Tell me your thoughts. We don't always have to have the 'right answer' or the 'winner'. We can still be friends with different opinions. Can't make it to the event or you just don't want to attend? Stop beating about the bush and be honest. You don't like someone's behaviour? Advise them, in a good way. You can't pay up the debt in time? Excuse yourself before your time is due instead of switching off your phone and ignoring someone's texts.Will be absent at work? Call at work early enough and avoid any inconveniences.

I mean, don't people understand the value of words. How when used kindly and appropriately, we could a better world right now? Imagine if we opted for peace reconciliations rather than war? If we opted for what-went-wrong discussions rather than divorce? If we decided to be honest about what we feel about someone or their actions or their words? Just think about it. What if you decided to go sit with your mother, whom you are always in a fight with, and directly ask her what doesn't she like in you or what could possibly be so wrong in your behaviour? Or what if you approached your cousin and cleared the air from the grudge you two have been holding for years on?? What if you were honest that you are still in bed rather than lie to someone who's been waiting for you for two hours already? Don't you think telling them in advance would save them some heat and maybe they'd find a place to use their time more effectively while waiting for you? (Hallo there late-comers :D )

It's true that sometimes talking it out may not bring out any results but maybe it is worth the try?? Don't allow your ego to stop you from reaching out to other people and straightening things with them. Just give it a try...after that, whatever happens, will not be upon you anymore for you'd have played your part.

Speaking out doesn't necessarily mean blurting your thoughts out like diarrhea or being rude and arrogant. It just means you need to be straight forward; about your thoughts, feelings, opinions...you never have to make anyone keep guessing because they already know, if so and so had a problem with me, they'd have approached me about it. It keeps you on the clear. It keeps you away from avoidable misunderstandings and grudges. It makes you honest. It grants you a peace of mind. Sooo...talk it out maybe??

TELL ME YOUR DREAMS

Photo Courtesy: https://c1.staticflickr.com

TELL ME YOUR DREAMS,
TELL ME WHAT MAKES YOU TICK.
TELL ME WHAT MAKES YOU STAY AWAKE LATE AT NIGHT,
TELL ME WHAT TAKES YOU TO CLOUD NINE AND WHAT MAKES THE STARS SHINE A BIT BRIGHTER.
TELL ME YOUR DREAMS...I WILL SHOW YOU PEOPLE WHO'VE MASTERED THE ART OF DREAMING

Perhaps the best thing about my career is meeting new people. But then this is quite ironic for an introvert because meeting people is such a struggle for me. I have to contemplate the whole thing a million times before I finally make up my mind to meet the person i'm to meet. Yet when I think of it, coming out of my shell and my comfort zone has rarely ever made me regret. All I ever had to do was filter their objectives, my objectives, their agenda, my agenda and for those I did eventually meet, I learnt a lot. My perspective has really changed a great deal from listening to people, to their stories, to their dreams...oh, their dreams, you see the spark in their eyes as they tell you their goals and it is just amazing. I met such a lady yesterday and not even my words, can explain the enthusiasm in her voice as she narrates her dreams.

Amina Yusuf is the typical Nairobi Muslim lady; learned, focused, super-ambitious, determined and brave. While she was leading a comfortable life in Nairobi with her three children and husband, in her own home, with a good career, she decided to leave it all to come to Mombasa. The main aim of the migration was to get her children into tahfidhul qur'an and give her children an ideal childhood in Islamic neighbourhood. Upon arriving here, she joined madrasa for one year and up'd her education. It was while she was in madrasa that she noticed how the girl child in the neighbourhood were being left behind; uneducated, child labour, poverty issues, family issues, neglected orphans...and she decided she must make a move.

Without over-thinking, she decided to start an education centre by the name Al Reyhan girls education centre with the little amount she had. She went for shopping and started buying the basic necessities she would need for herself and the girls. She had a special target on which girls she needed to join her centre so she would personally move from one house to another, interacting with family members, befriending them without anyone knowing her intention. It was only after weighing each family's situation is when she'd recruit the girls; orphaned girls, neglected girls, girls from very needy families who can't afford to take their children to school, girls who live with their old grandparents with no one to take care of their education needs...until the number of girls got to 97, 52 of which are boarders.

The school system is such that, the entire morning the girls are taught tahfidh and basic Islamic knowledge then in the afternoon, they have the secular subjects. Amina wasn't going to let her girls feel any less than fellow girls in academies. She would fish for money in her own ways and buy them books, stationary, colours, pads for the older girls, she'd cover the books herself, ensure they eat good food with a fruit at least each day and meat once a week. She'd take them to outings occasionally, give them pep talks, go play with them at the beach early mornings, interact with them and at these times, she says, is when you get to know of the deepest secrets of the children.

"I want to mould and shape these girls into ambitious educated women. I want it that some day, the girls at my centre can have quality education such that there is no difference between them and the students at Light Academy. I even told my thirteen year old daughter about my dream and my goal; that if I die like right now, I want her to continue with my legacy because this is the legacy I want to leave behind," Amina says.

"It's been tough for us here. I run this place entirely by myself and by God's grace. Sometimes I push family and friends to chip in but otherwise we have no other way of income. I have rented these two buildings; each having three rooms. I stay in one of the rooms with my three children too. We currently just have three beds, the rest we just lay mattresses in this one room and the girls sleep here. It gets too hot and stuffy sometimes, but what can we do...we need to survive here until we get a bigger place."

One room being her own and for her three children, the other two being classrooms in one house. The other house which also has three rooms; one belongs to the caretaker and teachers who help around, the other room contains the three beds while the last room is the classroom during morning hours and the place to sleep in the night. I can't even come to think of how these 52 girls fit into the two tiny rooms.

"We've had pretty bad days too. We once had a tv, we had to sell it at some point. There was a time we were all locked inside the house because we had really delayed with rent. The agents wouldn't let us out. I had to frantically start calling friends and family for help, but alhamdulilah some good group of friends managed to raise the amount in good time and saved us. And sometimes, we have good Samaritans coming by to greet us or bring us some things; sometimes it is university student groups, sometimes just individuals or charity groups. We really appreciate it but then sometimes we have nowhere to store the things. Like someone may bring two cartons of milk and we have no freezer to store. Sometimes I go to neighbours and leave a few in different homes but then it gets to a point I feel burdened to ask that from them anymore. I can't keep doing that forever. Sometimes people don't say they are fed up but you can feel it yourself that you can't ask for favours everyday. So I end up sharing it to the day scholars too so that the milk doesn't spoil. Or sometimes someone brings a goat, we slaughter and have a feast for lunch and dinner, but since I fear that what remains may get bad, I choose the most needy of families and give them it."

With all this, Amina still strives to make her centre better and greater.
"As much as I use 8-4-4 system to teach the girls, I decided to give them extra life skills that would help them when they grow up. We have cooking classes at least once a month, tailoring classes, sometimes we make juice, sometimes I come with my small laptop and show them how to use. We have very limited resources but with such a fast developing world, I wouldn't want them to remain unaware of what is happening around them. I teach them how to be as ladies; the etiquette and manners. I discourage them from going outside past maghrib times (sunset) and sometimes parents come to complain why i'm making the girls be disobedient by refusing to go outside past sunset but I tell them about matters of time and how we need to protect them. I also teach them about women in Islam; the history and of modern world (like Yasmin Mogahed) because if European girls are empowered why not do that for ourselves too? So I give them history lessons of how Muslim women impacted the society. We even have our library we call it 'maktabatul Aisha' (Aisha's library) since she is one of the most educated women in history. We call our sports section 'Nusaiba' since she was a brave warrior during the prophet's time. We call our accounts section 'khazinatu Khadija' for she was a successful business woman. And the point of all this is for them to realize the power and importance of a woman in the society. They too can become these women."

In both two buildings, only three rooms are used for studies. One is the class for toddlers and KG 1. The other room is for KG 2, 3 and class 1. The third room has class 2 to class 6. Every teacher hurdled in a corner with her numbered girls. It is hectic no doubt. Imagine having three teachers teaching different classes, all in the same room. And here, it is like 'whatever will be will be'. They teach regardless of the limited space to comfortably talk to the girls or for them to bend down to take some notes.

"It's been 9 months now and I thank God that we have survived until now. Sometimes I sit with these girls and just talk to them. I ask them what they want to become when they grow up and you'd hear one say, 'I want to get married'. When you ask her 'why so?' She says, 'My family already planned for me to get married to my cousin.' And this is just a thirteen year old girl. She has no focus, no goals whatsoever because she, the girl child, wasn't given the knowledge to understand what she is capable of. We have very young children nowadays, as young as 3 who will tell you that they want to be a doctor or a pilot or a teacher. Why then would some girls have such goals in life at such tender ages while other lack any goal at all?"

As we move around and Amina shows me the students of each class, I notice a big girl at KG 3. Immediately Amina says this is class one, I see her quickly sink down and bow her head not to be seen. She is ashamed, I notice.
"What's her story?"
"Long story. She lives with her step-mum who's been mistreating her. Sometimes she comes here and slaps her for maybe some minor she hasn't done or something like that. She's been neglected, with no education...and she's been working as a house girl. I didn't even know that that was her step-mum until lately. Currently, i'm trying to transfer her into our boarding here, so she can study well with a peace of mind. She is just 13 but talk to her and she sounds like 35. She speaks like an adult..."
"That's what tough life does to you..."
"And there are more of these girls. They need help. They need somewhere safe to go to. There is this young girl here, she's just four years old but she's seen a lot. Her mother is a divorcee and a drug addict, she uses bogizi. The young girl has both asthma and sinus. She keeps getting the attacks regularly but the mother is never around or very high...so she stays here with me at boarding. All I want is for her and others like her to have a good life...But I can't take any more here. I don't have space for more. We need a bigger place and reach out to more girls."

Most of the girls come from families with very huge baggage. 60% of the girls are orphans, 30% are needy, 10% are abled. The 10% are the only ones who pay fees which is 1700/= per month. But it is more than worth it because Amina feeds them and provide stationary for them too. We even have break time tea twice a week and porridge three times. Because the aim here isn't business, it's to give the students a chance like other children have. So from what the abled students pay is what helps in paying teachers and catering for other needs. By 'abled' we don't mean ABLED. We just mean students who are a bit better than the rest.

I look at Amina and say to myself, 'This human being right her; she is making a difference.' I look at her eyes sparkle as she talks of how much she wants to do for the girls, of the sighs between her sentences like she is desperate to reach her goal, of the endless 'Thank God'...I look at her and marvel. We have made idols and role models from people on social media who do nothing other than make noise, have aimless posts, put up many photos of themselves then call them 'influential people'. But how did they really influence us? In what did they influence us? Was it ever something meaningful? I doubt. Then there are people like Amina, who've sacrificed their good peaceful lives where they could live happily without a worry just to make a difference and bring change in other people's lives. These are the unsung heroes. The very few who do something great not so as to look great but to create some other great thing. And here now I call for your help to help Amina achieve her dream...

On the 2nd of April, Amina is organizing for a fundraiser food bazaar. She is calling for people to assist her in any way possible. You may donate some food that will be sold, or you may sell your own food on that day then share the profit, or you may just volunteer to help around making the event successful or even come sell any of your other businesses and agree on how to share the profit. The aim of the fundraising is to get money to buy a freezer which is quite necessary for them right now. But there are so many other needs for them.
The girls at boarding sometimes are to go home and they refuse with the say, "Ustadha, at home I can't have pads. I will just be told to use a piece of clothe."
So yes, these girls come from very desperate situations you don't want to imagine. Donate with whatever you can. Volunteer. Or even share this post as widely as possible. Let us make her dream come true. Let us make a difference in these childrens' lives. The event is also going to a fun day at the same time i.e. a food bazaar plus fun day for children. Entrance is free. Kindly avail yourselves and make this work in shaa Allah.

If you want to assist in any way and would like to talk to Amina, here's her contact:0797641346/0733341574. God bless you!!

Special thanks to my best friend, Husna, for supporting me in all my projects. God bless your soul always :)

TELL ME YOUR DREAMS, I WILL SHOW YOU PEOPLE WHO HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF DREAMING

THE SELFISH GIRL (Part 2)

By: Naima Baghozi

You can read part 1 here: http://strokesofmypen.blogspot.co.ke/2017/03/the-selfish-girl-part-1.html

Tears were rolling down my cheeks and a huge painful lump clogged in my throat wondering if Kela did even have any meal at all. I felt so sad for her and such strong feelings of pity filled the whole of me and for the first time in my life I lifted my face up to the sky and thanked God so much for the privileges that I had, which those people living down that hill never had. I vowed there and then to help this girl in what ever means I can.

Now, everything fell right in place in explanation to her misery and to her attitude in general. One thing impressed me though about her and which made me wonder “how does she manage to come to school so clean every day?!”

I looked down once more and then dragged my feet home like in slow motion, my heart feeling so heavy in sadness...

Due to all this, I was of course a bit late getting home and especially since the distance wasn’t short either. As I got up to the gate of my home, my mom was at the door with a worried frown on her face and as soon as I got to her, she asked me:

“Malu, where have you been? I have been so worried and after seeing all your friends pass by without you...”

She suddenly stopped, realizing she wasn’t getting any reply from me. She then also noticed the look on my face which tugged at her heart. Not knowing what was wrong with me, she just gently took my arm and slowly pulled me inside and took me straight to the sitting room and sat me down. She then took my face in her gentle hands and peered into my face and asked so quietly:

“Malu, my daughter tell me what has happened to you, you look so sad, what happened to you? Please don’t keep me in suspense, you are really worrying me…”

I kept silent for a little while and then slowly raised my face and looked at my mother and started slowly relating to her as to what happened…

“Mom, do you remember about that new girl in my school I told you about?” My mother just nodded, so I continued to tell my mom all that happened from day one to this moment of where I came from. My mother didn’t even realize that there were tears rolling down her face, you see my mom was a very kind person and everyone knew it and that is where I got my kindness too, from my mother.

                                                        

“So, you see mom, I have decided to be extra kind to Kela from now onwards and I will urge my friends to do the same” I ended.

My mom said “That is very good my dear, you see it is always good to be kind to others in order to have a better life, isn’t it?”

“Yes mom, it is and that is what you always teach me,” I replied.

My mom just smiled and for a few minutes we just sat in peaceful silence, then suddenly I jumped up with excitement and said to my mom:“Mom, what do you think if from tomorrow onwards when I pack my break time snacks, I pack for Kela too? This way if she doesn’t have any food at home then she will at least have something in her stomach, even if a little bit…”

My mom looked at me with a smile on her face and thought to herself: “How lucky I am to have such a kind-hearted daughter. Thank God.” She then said to me:“Of course Malu, you can, that is the most wonderful thing to do.”

                                         

“Oh! Thanks a lot mom,” then I suddenly looked down at my fidgeting feet and the look of excitement and happiness was gone. This made my mom wonder what was wrong with me now. She knew when I did this I had something else on my mind.

“Malu, what’s wrong? Tell me, what is in that beautiful head of yours now?”

I hesitated slightly. My mom urged on: “Go on, tell me now; I am just your mom after all…” this made me smile a bit and said to her: “I was wondering mom, since I have lots of clothes and shoes maybe I could give to Kela the ones I don’t use anymore – they are still in good condition and just sitting in my cupboard, what do you say mom? Please, please – pretty please mom…” and at this, my mom laughed outright.

“Okay dear, you have my permission.” Replied my mom. I couldn’t contain my happiness so I jumped over my mom and hugged and kissed her over and over again saying “ you are the most wonderful, best mom in the whole wide world and I am ever so lucky to have you, May God bless you and preserve you for us.” My mom couldn’t contain her laughs now and said to me:

“Well, I don’t know about that my daughter but I certainly know that I am the one who is lucky to have you” and with that I hugged my mom once more and ran off to my room leaving my mom with a big smile wondering where I got all this energy.

I was so happy that it felt like walking on air. I rushed to my closet and took one box out and started to neatly place the clothes I didn’t need together with a couple pairs of shoes. I then remembered that Kela always carried her books in her arms so decided to add in a school bag since I had extra bags and finally closed the box with a happy sigh.

That night I could hardly sleep from excitement in knowing that I may make some one happy tomorrow and started planning on the best way of presenting these things to Kela, after tossing and turning I finally dropped off to sleep with a big smile on my face.

It looked like it would be a beautiful day, the sun shone nicely and the breeze was cool.

I could hardly take breakfast from excitement. I finally left my house with my school bag on my shoulder and the box on my head, I met up with my friends outside my gate and they looked curiously at me and asked me almost simultaneously:

“Malu, what is in the box?”

“What are you carrying to school today?”

“Please Malu don’t keep us in suspense, do tell….

“Well, quiet down and give me a chance to explain, my friends” I said, laughing.

“Do you remember yesterday after school I told you to go on and that I will catch up with you?”

“Yes we do” replied her friends.

“Well, this is what happened...” so I went on to explain to my friends where exactly I went and what I saw and even how sad I became. As to be expected by this time all my friends’ eyes were brimming with tears and one of them said: “Poor Kela...”  “Yes” the others replied in unison.

So, I continued: “Well, my friends, after that I have decided from now onwards I will be bringing Kela break time snacks and in this box are my clothes and shoes which I don’t use any more and I also put in one of my school bag for her, as you all know she is always carrying her school things in her hands. I hope she will like them and even in a small way feel special…”

“Of course she will, your things are always the best Malu,” said one of her friends.

                                                      

While my friends were listening to me, they all seemed to look at me with wonder and each one of them decided in their own way to be kind and generous to Kela from then and thanked God for their being privileged.

They also now understood Kela fully; her refusal to share came from her poverty and not having much even for her self leave alone to share. She led such a tough life thus had no time to make friends or get attached to anyone. Her rudeness came from being so unprivileged thus didn’t know how to be friendly or polite, she didn’t even have the strength to smile!

All these realizations made the girls feel pretty awful and felt they had misjudged Kela very badly, so I made all my friends promise to be extra nice and kind to Kela and give her a chance to learn how to be friendly and polite. They all agreed to include her in their group as one of their friend. With this in their minds they happily ended their journey to school.

They all agreed to let me go look for Kela alone so as she may not be embarrassed in being given all these things probably for the first time.

As always Kela was in class all alone sitting at her desk while the other students were out playing in the school compound as it was before class time.

                                 

I walked slowly towards her and very cautiously pulled my chair next to her and said “Hello Kela…’

The other girl looked at me strangely then looked at the box which I had placed on my desk and then asked “What is this you have put on my desk? And why?”

Slowly I took Kela’s hand and started by telling her “Kela, I now know everything and so do my friends and we would really like to help you and be friends with you, please accept us!”

                                                          

Kela looked confused and at first really didn’t know what to say – you see Kela is not used to such kindness nor know how to deal with it – she just asked me: “what do you mean?”

I continued to hold her hand and started explaining to her how I followed her to her home and what I saw and also how I was touched and then told her what was in the box and requested her to accept it. I then took out of my bag the snack I had packed for her and gave it to her and told her that I will everyday be bringing her a break time snack.

By this time Kela was so lost for words for I guess she had never come across anyone like me. She covered her face with both her hands and started sobbing so hard that I got so confused and wondered what wrong I had done.

I hugged my new friend and asked her “What is wrong Kela? Have I offended you? Please tell me, I just want to be your friend and I want you to be happy.” Kela looked up and in between sobs said “But I am and I don’t really know how to thank you, you are the most kind-hearted person I have ever met and may God reward you always my friend” and then she in return hugged me in a way to show me the gratitude she felt.

All this time my friends were hovering by the door full of curiosity and finally asked if it was safe to come in, I just waved them in with a huge smile on my face. They all rushed in and came over and hugged Kela and promised her they will always be there for her and her needs.

It was certainly the very best and happiest day for all the girls and most especially for Kela.

                                                            

That evening Kela carried her beautiful new belongings home with a light step in her walk and feeling like a very heavy load had been removed from her chest.

Meanwhile I was the happiest person having been able to solve the problems surrounding my new friend Kela and felt I had done a very good deed indeed... :)

            

THE SELFISH GIRL (Part 1)

By: Naima Baghozi

                                

A girl in our school named Kela was the most selfish person anyone can come across. Read on and you will understand what I mean…

My name is Malu and I see myself as a very friendly and outgoing girl. This, you will know from the uncountable friends that I have. I couldn’t see anyone in a bad way; in fact I took everyone as friendly, outgoing and kind as myself. Therefore, it was a surprise to me when almost everybody tried to convince me what a bad and selfish girl the new student named Kela was. I just couldn’t believe nor accept it and I kept telling everyone that it can’t be true. That she is just shy, being new in the school and in town too for she and her parents had just moved from a neighboring town. I kept on finding excuses for her. However, my friends just would not understand why I wouldn’t believe them. This is because I am the sort of person who has to see things for myself without being told to believe, so I decided to keep my eyes wide open on Kela.

Luckily it so happened that Kela was placed in the same class as I and I decided to be my usual friendly self. I went over to where she was sitting and extended my hand in order to introduce myself. ‘Hello, my name is Malu and what is yours?’ I said with a big smile on my face but…

She just looked at my hand with such disgust on her face that one would have thought my hand was a snake ready to strike her. I felt so horrible and walked away slowly wondering what was wrong with her!?

That was my first experience with her but I refused to give up on her because I am not used to people snubbing me – so it was like a challenge for me and I decided to face it… She didn’t know what was coming, he, he, he…

All the way home and far into the night while lying on my bed open eyed, I kept trying to figure Kela out, wondering why she was like this or what made her be this way??? Questions, questions and more questions kept on revolving around my head. I decided there and then that I will do everything in my power to find out. I then fell into a deep sleep right away as I was very tired.

“Kela, Kela come play with me skipping rope please.”

“No Malu, I don’t want to.”

“Oh! Please, please, it is going to be a lot of fun.”

“I said no. I don’t want.” continued Kela with a long face and then even stuck her tongue out at me. That was very rude but I wouldn’t take no for an answer and kept urging her to go and play together…

“Come on Kela, I am just trying to be your friend…”

“I don’t have any friends” Kela replied.

“I know that, that’s why I want to be the first one.” I continued, "Please Kela! Here, shake my hand so we can truly be friends!”

                                                      

Reluctantly at first a small smile started on Kela’s face and she actually looked pretty instead of her usual long face. She then took my hand in hers and her face lightened up with this beautiful smile and just said “thanks friend…”

“Malu, Malu – what’s wrong with you? Malu, can you hear me?”

I got up with a start and confusion, for a minute not knowing where I was and then I realized I was in my bed. My mother was hovering over me with a worried look on her face and I then realized all that was a dream.

My mom asked me, “Are you alright?”  

“Oh! I am fine mom; I was just in a deep sleep and having a dream.” I replied.

“Well, you better get up, breakfast is ready or you will be late for school,” said my mom.

Strangely enough this dream gave me more courage to face Kela and make sure she becomes my friend because I felt there must be something sad that has made her become the sort of person she is now and I was going to make sure I find out what it was.

I quickly got out of bed and did my morning rituals, then right after breakfast picked up my school bag and off I went to school. On the way I met up with a couple of my friends and we went on chattering all the way to school.

The day was as normal a school day usually is. I decided I won’t be too forward with Kela and that I will take things as slow as I can so as not to give her the impression of my being pushy. So I greeted her and moved on.

I decided it would be best to just observe her and her habits and then and only then make my moves in trying to convince her to mend her ways. 

It wasn’t long before I found out, for I sit right in the next desk from her, and I could see how terribly rude she was to almost every student who tried to be friendly with her. She would even make faces at their backs and this is a very bad habit for anyone to have.

As days went by I couldn’t help noticing how much she preferred to keep to herself and do everything by herself. She would come to school alone and walk home alone. I felt very sorry for this girl, I don’t know why but I just thought to myself what a miserable life she must be living!

To give credit to my friends, I must accept their opinion about Kela, for she did turn out to be exactly what my friends branded her to be:

“A BAD AND SELFISH PERSON.’

                                                         

She wouldn’t even share anything of hers with anybody in class; not a rubber, a ruler or even a text book. If anybody dares request her to lend them one or any other of these things – then that person will definitely get a rude plain answer of “NO”. 

Come break time when all of the girls don’t mind sharing whatever delicacies we bring from home, she would definitely refuse to even come near us, leave alone sharing her own which we never knew what it was anyway. Oh God! She is such a SNOB, we finally decided.

Thus the days kept dragging on in the same pattern more or less until…

  

Until one day I decided now this has to stop and I took it in my hands to just follow her home and see where she lives or what sort of life she was living in order for me to make some sense out of all this.

So, after school on this particular day I told my friends to just go on home and that I won’t be long before I join them. Luckily they didn’t question me as to why and why not.

                            

After they left, I hid behind a huge tree which was near our school gate. Not long after, I saw Kela coming out. She first did a strange thing; she looked around all sides as though checking to see if anyone was looking at her. Thank God for the big tree which hid me well, for she passed right by me without even noticing that I was there.

As luck would have it, the path she was taking was quite the opposite of the one leading to my home. I was so glad because this way my friends won’t see me following Kela. My curiosity was driving me crazy about this girl; I just hoped it won’t kill me like it did the cat…

                                  

This was my very first time to take this route, so I tried to be very discreet so that Kela may not notice me. I kept quite a small distance between us and I hid behind trees and bushes as we went along – it was quite a distance but I kept on until we came to a little hill which I let Kela climb up and then she disappeared over it, I slowly climbed over it and at the top of it I stood still in shock with my mouth wide open with wonder seeing Kela slowly drawing her legs towards what one can call a home.

                                                                 

You see, what was down there was the worst horrific site of a slum village. So many lousily built box and paper houses clustered so unhealthily together, one would even wonder how anyone can know which one is hers or his.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks and a huge painful lump clogged in my throat wondering if Kela did even have any meal at all. I felt so sad for her and such strong feelings of pity filled the whole of me and for the first time in my life I lifted my face up to the sky and thanked God so much for the privileges that I had, which those people living down that hill never had. I vowed there and then to help this girl in what ever means I can.

Now, everything fell right in place in explanation to her misery and to her attitude in general. One thing impressed me though about her and which made me wonder “how does she manage to come to school so clean every day?!”

I looked down once more and then dragged my feet home like in slow motion, my heart feeling so heavy in sadness...

What will Malu do about Kela?? Wait for the next piece soon in shaa Allah!