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Thursday, 27 July 2017

TO MY POLITICAL FANATIC NEIGHBOUR

                                 Photo Courtesy: MTY Organization
Hey Amedo,
Assalam aleikum,
I would have said Ahmed but then who recognizes you with that name anymore? Haha, you are all grown Mashallah. I hope that's how it is spelt? The Mashallah I mean and the assalam aleikum up there...haha what do I know anyway? I'm just this old pal from upcountry living in Mombasa. I remember hearing your parents use such phrases so many times...ah, your parents. I miss them, you know that? I wish they could see how grown and smart you are right now. Your parents and I, we had this special kind of relationship. I bet you wouldn't remember much though. You were just eight when that unfortunate accident happened right? *Sigh*
When I first came to Mombasa twenty years ago, I remember how warmly I was received by your parents into this neighbourhood. I still remember your dad, tall and lean, with such a loud laughter, welcoming me like I was a long-lost brother. Your mother, on the other hand, prepared dinner for both me and my wife that night. "I bet you are tired," she said in her shy voice. I was a bit puzzled with the reception. We were different people, different tribes, different cultures, different religions...what could have made them so comfortable to bond with us immediately? My wife was a bit suspicious at first. You know, we had heard of rumours about the Mombasa genies and how witchcraft is so common and human sacrifices are made to become 'viti'. Well, we never even understood what those viti were. As far as we knew it, viti are chairs. Nonetheless, my wife, she was a bit worried at first. But then by the next three to four months, we had interacted with almost the entire neighbourhood. We came to learn that this is just how Mombasa is. Warm and lovely; feels like home. It is why we decided to remain here longer. We decided, this is the best place to raise our children.
After your parents passed away in the accident, your divorced aunt moved in to take care of you and your younger siblings. Your aunt was another very lovely lady. She is charming and full of life; the kind to hear her voice sweeping the compound as she sang famous taarab songs. She is the one who taught my wife how to cook biriani and pilau and all these tasty coasterian foods. I never get enough of these foods.
It was all going well for us until Timmy died. You remember Timmy don't you? Sometimes I see you walk by my home and I yearn to talk to you, ask you if you remember him, if you remember how you two used to play football together, or how you used to stay up late playing PS until your dad would come force you out of our homestead. If you remember that your birthdays were only two weeks apart and that today, he would be 22 years old like you are. Perhaps that would lessen how much I miss him. But then every time I want to start up a conversation, I see the lines form on your forehead. I see how quick you respond just so as you can leave, how bothered you seem by just calling out your name. I never understand it. Maybe it's my age; old folk what does he want? Or maybe my skin colour or maybe you just don't recognize me anymore. Maybe...the maybe's are endless.
Timmy...my only son, my lovely boy, died ten years ago. Both of you were just twelve years old. My son, he was killed. Do you remember? Do you remember the shrieks of pain? The screams? The tear gas, the fear, the stones, the chaos? Do you remember the 2007 post-election violence? You were young but you couldn't forget how Timmy died right? Your best friend, your brother from another mother, could you? There was too much smoke, wails, angry protests and there we were, caught up right at the middle of it all. Our neighbourhood had always been peaceful, serene...what was happening now? How could everyone forget our brotherhood so fast? We were among the few "outcasts" in the compound. After more than ten years in Mombasa, we suddenly became "outcasts" because our skin colour was darker, our mother-tongue accent betrayed us and our features were clearly "not of here" and that was enough reason to have knives stabbed into our bodies. Because of my origin, my vote automatically meant someone and some party, and at that point, my tribe betrayed me, betrayed us all. We were robbed and deeply injured that night...but one more thing, we lost our son.
It took me three months to heal my wounds and my wife's' but we still have one wound that will always remain a wound; unhealed and it just has one word, Timmy. Your aunt has been there for us, all this time, for better for worse, just like we stood by her side whenever she couldn't afford some bread to feed you all. But you worry me. You my son, worry me.
I see how opinionated you've become. How strong and firm you are. It is good. But yet it could be dangerous. I see you sit with your mates barazani, I see the fury in your eyes, the anger in your tone. I see you young men discuss politics like this is a battle field and you want to win at whatever cost. I see you argue, I see the clenched fists and the tribalistic insults. I see how your friends look at me, how they purposely shout out "Kila mtu arudi kwao" when I pass by. I see how you all are invested so much in politics you forget you are supposed to be friends. I see how some of you have stopped talking to each other because "he is pro-someone" and you are "anti-them". I see how much belief and trust you have kept towards these politicians.
I know it is your right to have an opinion, to vote and to be politically affiliated. Yet I want to remind you my son, when your parents died, I was the one who came to your home and took you for the next few nights, I want to remind you that Timmy was your friend despite me and your parents having different cultures and political opinions. I want to remind you that when we were stabbed, it was your aunt who washed off the blood in our house. That she was the one who nursed our wounds like she was paid for it.
I want to remind you, that during those ugly, dark moments it wasn't my favourite politician who stood by me, by us. It wasn't my tribe, or my mother-tongue accent that helped me through those difficult times. It wasn't your favourite politician either. It was you and your people. It was my neighbours, my friends, my associations who have totally different opinions from mine. But we knew that friendship or any other form of relationship should never be sold for the sake of dirty politics. This game is too dirty. My son, I see how you and your friends are too aggressive in this whole politics business, remember, the game is too dirty, too cheap for your hands.
I am so proud of who you are, what you've become; an educated focused man who wants change. I guess we all need the change, don't we? Just never forget that no change comes from animosity, rivalry, hatred or stubbornness. Remember that for better for worse, none of the politicians will be at your doorstep to help you with your personal problems other than your personal friends and relations. I need you to never forget the humanity joining us; these small joyful moments we have shared between us all; as neighbours, as brothers, as co-existing human beings, as people of the Coast, whether by nature or nurture, as people of Kenya. Never forget that we are naturally bonded as humans before politics ever divide us.
This coming election, my son, remember my words. Remember that chaos will never beget change. That your voice in the call of peace is important and necessary. Remember to hold your friends close together, in unity and preach to them peace like you preach politics and politicians. Remember my son, no more bloodshed, no more Timmy's, no more crying over spilled milk. Let's all hold hands and pray for peace and unity. Remember we are One Kenya, One people. This elections, as you cast your vote (or not), remember peace, peace, peace!! May God protect us all. God bless Kenya!
Your next door neighbour,
Baba Timmy.



What is more interesting than standing together for Kenya that is united by all means? What is more interesting than a walk that preaches for peace and propagates for unity of all? The Dumisha Amani Peace Walk is a walk organized by MTY organization in conjunction to both MUHURI and Manyunyu community. It will bring together more than 200 youth to propagate the message of peace and unity. The peace walk shall start at treasury square and it will also entail performances by artists, holding hands pledges, peace mascots, security, media coverage and lots of fun, love and unity. Not signed up yet, text 0705 586 076. CHAGUA AMANI!!

Monday, 17 July 2017

THOUGHTS OF INTROVERTED MEH



Photo Courtesy: http://realbusiness.co.uk/
I am not really sure when Introvertism became trendy or anything fancy but all I know, for me, it has never been easy. It's never been easy for anyone. It's not comfortable, it's weird and awkward and clumsy and precipitation and anxiety, sometimes creepy. Yet, it's also solace and small circles and deep talk and books and coffee and cats (not for everyone but we do have our good moments ;) )
But oh well, we are the millennials. We have previously tried to make something out of absolutely nothing and we have succeeded. We are so desperate to be SOMETHING and then BOOM! came the word 'Introvert'; such a sassy word mahn nay? and so we made it be something most of the time is not. Feels so classy even saying it. "Hey hi, I'm Lubnah and I'm an introvert"
Then everyone replies, "Hi Lubnah, welcome" like the way they say in these Hollywood movies during self-help group sessions.

Well for people like me, the Introverts who are Millennials I mean, we are lucky to be born in the 21st Century because we can get away with some things and claim it on 'I'm an introvert' or at least we can say, "some few people understand and accept us for what we are". This is where I blush stupidly :D I mean, aren't we lucky? We could even start our own society soon :D
You know sometimes though, you meet people or you are going through someone's bio and they've written 'Introvert' on their bio and you know them too well to be even CLOSE to being an introvert and you go like, "Ati Whoott?!" :D
I mean do people even have an idea what it's really like to be an introvert? The struggle? The trying-so-hard to be fit in somewhere? Especially when you want to be at the corner yet everything is round. Or do people just assume it's something fabulous and sophisticated to say and mention in our biographies?... But well, I do get that same above reaction several times. People read my blog and hear me rant about very 'serious' and bold issues and they haven't even met me in real life so they entirely dismiss the idea that i'm an introvert. Well, that's until they meet me. And they go, "You are the writer?...I expected..." I want to say, "You expected someone as huge as my words, probably slaying in some long heels and so much sass or perhaps elegance and then you meet this timid girl looking like a hungry squirrel, you almost confused me to be a school girl" But then I just politely laugh it off with, "I know I know I hear that a lot." I thought this was the generation who knew better that what we see in the internet rarely and barely describes our true lives. We are quite different people behind those screens. Well, at least most of us.
I know my journey as an introvert is different from others but I also know it's still very similar. And what I mean for this is, if we are going to make 'introvert' seem so cute and fancy then we should also accept the weird, absurd side of it too right? So here we go, i'll take you through some of my thoughts of being 'weird':
Invitation to an event
(Just outside the event venue)
"Hey excuse me? Umm, is the room full already? Like how many people? Umm, is there a back door? urgh, no back door? Could you please my friend her name is so and so, please tell her to pick me up? I can't reach her via phone. It's off. No no I'll just wait for her then we can walk in together. What?! You can't find her? Can you escort me please?? Oh thank you so much! I already feel like everyone is watching me. *Gasps* Never mind. Thank you for escorting me!"

Going into the elevator
(Rushes in to a corner)
Okay okay we are enough people already, why are people still over loading this small tiny thing? Uff! I can't even breath. What if someone hears me breathing loudly or everyone? Oh my God that's terrifying. I can hold my breath for a moment or do it as slowly and silently as they do it in yoga. This thing still makes me feel dizzy ;/ ...Wow! This lady has so much courage! She is talking on the phone while all these people are at a pin-drop silence! How do you do that ma'am? Just hearing your voice in an over crowded tiny space? (I almost wanna ask.) Bravo bravo!!

Eating in public
Okay slooowly let's take a bite. It shouldn't disrupt anyone's peace or even worse, draw attention. Eat like you chewing stolen food. No one should feel you are even there. Make sure your mouth and teeth behaves. No embarrassments please? Good. Like that. No fuss. No one is noticing. Good. Slow but sure. No hurry ma'am. (You can imagine the struggle when trying to eat something like crisps or an apple)

Dialing a call
Please don't pick up
Please don't pick up
Please don't pick up
1 2 3...3 seconds are gone, she hasn't picked up. not my fault!
(Shouts across the room excitedly) "She hasn't picked up. I will just send her a text message or a mail :) " SATISFACTION.
Then someone decides to ruin your moment.
"Try dialing again"

On a call
"Hey hallo"
"Why is your voice like that? Are you whispering?"
"I'm with people"
"So?"
"So I can't talk loudly. Let me go outside... Okay, tell me now..."
"Is there a secret?"
"No why?"
"Why can't you talk in front of other people?"
"It's just uncomfortable listening to my voice echoing to my ears. Do you get it? No you can't get it. Never mind."

Texting a friend
"Oh my God I have good news for you!!"
"Aha bismillah what's up?"
"Let me call you...or wait, video call is better. I want to see your reaction"
Me:

In a public transport vehicle
Okay, I have to rush to my seat. The last seat at the very last corner so that I can look out the whole way and don't have to have people pushing and rubbing my knees to pass back and forth. That seat is solace. You can read a book or send a text message without wondering whether the two people sandwiching you are peeping at your screen or book.

Going out
Wow it's a beautiful day to talk a walk. I could do good with some sunshine.
Someone: Hey, do you want to accompany to the mall?
Me:

When your friend doesn't show up at the event and doesn't pick your calls

When talking with a friend at a public place

That's too loud iiy! Lower the volume please!
Going to the market for shopping
Me: Yey!! Finally going to get what I wanted.
Also me, five minutes after entering the market:
Where are all these humans coming from?!!

When strangers or people you barely know ask for a meet up

When people ask for justification for your very awkward, weird social tendencies (especially since you're a journalist)
 Bruh!! Not again please!!

Well, we have a reaction for everything so this would probably not end today lol. All in all, I think people should just accept us for who we are. I mean, like for me, I do talk in front of crowds of people, my job sometimes requires me too and I do and sometimes I shake like an old generator running out of fuel and sometimes I perform so well. Sometimes I do bold things like start up a conversation with a stranger or eat in public but the end of the day, i'm going back right to my cocoon where it feels home and safe. Don't judge, don't criticize, don't manipulate.
Social interactions especially when it goes beyond our scope, suck up our energy and I mean that literally. We become drained and exhausted. Sometimes we want to make friends sometimes we don't. We talk a lot on the internet more than we do in our real lives. Sometimes we want to meet up with friends sometimes we just want to lay on bed in our pajamas, whole day long and watch or read something nice. When we say we need the space, we really need it. We're complicated humans. We're trying our best to act normal and bond and maybe you don't get it how we are what we are, but we appreciate ourselves and it is OKAY if you don't get it. Just respect our boundaries and accept us for who we are. Halla introverts! :D
No hard feelings people. This was meant for fun and to learn :)
All these awesome gifs from: https://giphy.com/

Saturday, 8 July 2017

BECAUSE EVERY CHANCE IS GOLDEN



Photo Courtesy: http://1.bp.blogspot.com
It's true that in this life you can never do everything alone, even the heroes and achievers we watch and see, at some point they need someone else to assist them in some way. The question though is, how much help can you ask for before it becomes unacceptable? How much asking is too much?
My brother and his friend have this sort of mantra which goes like, 'You can't ask prezzo for a sleepover.' I mean, however close you are to the president, it just wouldn't be right whenever you are in town you call him for a place to sleep right? What then happens when you desperately need him to sponsor your new project or maybe need his support when you vie for some political seat after you've used all your infinite chances asking for petty things? So whenever they are stranded and are thinking of ways out, they'd remind themselves that they should only ask for help from someone when it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Wise move should I say?
This got me thinking; this is something most of us do without actually thinking. You know like you could be having this friend who is always willing to help you with anything. So you just over-do it with the say, 'we are friends right? They signed up for this.' So you go all the way from sending them to buy you that dress you saw at the mall to requesting for airtime to asking for loans to requesting for endless favours. But what happens when you suddenly lose your money and have no fare to get you home? Or when you are terribly sick with no enough money for medication? By this time, your dear loyal friend is exhausted by your endless requests. Who then do you turn to? Let's face it; there is only so much one can handle. They will tolerate you for as long as they can but some day they'll just say it out loud, 'I quit!' And trust me, friends like these, you lose them and that's it. No one likes being used let alone being OVER-USED.
It's the same thing when you decide to ask for an advance at work but the advance is for you to buy some latest smartphone. Or when you use up all your off days for petty stuff like attending a birthday party. What then happens when you need a day to go for a mega interview?
Maybe we should really look at every chance we get to be golden. As golden as the three wishes of Aladdin. Maybe every time we want to ask for something from someone we should ask ourselves, 'If I just had three chances to make a wish to this same person, would this still be important or necessary?' If you check, the wise people, whenever someone tells them, 'I owe you one' they never quickly jump in to say, 'Buy me pizza then' or 'Buy me this attire' or 'Take me to this place'. They say, 'I'll save that chance for a better day.' Because yes, some chances and opportunities don't come back twice.
By the way, i'm sure you've heard or even done this yourself. There may be a time where someone asked you for help and you quickly rush to assist them because, 'He has never asked for a favour before. This seems to be something very important to him.' Unlike someone who keeps running to you for everything, you wouldn't take them THAT seriously would you?
So yes, don't always let your friend be the one to pay for your dinner. Sometimes be the one to pay for theirs. Don't always be quick to ask for favours at the slightest problem you face. Don't take people for granted by how much help they offer you. Don't use people however much they love you. Friendship, family or any other kind of bond, it has to be two-way. So help so that you can be helped too. But it should be within limits because yes, too much of anything is unhealthy and sometimes, annoying! Of course i'm not saying you shouldn't ask for small favours, we all do that from time to time. The point is; just don't make it a habit, extreme and overboard! Time for me and you to change...
Because yes! Every chance is golden!