IN THE NAME OF HUMANITY

Photos by: Husna Lali (& a few from the Mombasa Toa Donge Lako Page)

There are some things, moments and people you are definitely never going to forget, like beautiful sunsets, the best meal you ever had, laughter until you cried and long-term friendships. It is not about who or what exactly they are but rather what they made you feel and how they changed your perspective on life or maybe just made you take a step back and review your life with new eyes. Charity is one of those things. Your heart swells with joy as you see the the spark in their eyes, as they pull you into their arms for a hug, tears already formed, a half smile and many unspoken words. You see all the emotions mixing on their faces like paint. Perhaps you may never get to understand how big your help is to them, but they do and sometimes even words can't fully describe emotions. It could be happiness on their side, faith in humanity, hope and gratitude. And on your side it is joy, satisfaction, contentment and food for thought. You have made a difference in someone's life and that precise moment may never be recaptured in the same exact way ever again.

Last Sunday, 20/5/18, marked a new wonderful experience with the Mombasa Toa Donge Lako community group. We started our trip from Mombasa all the way to the interior most parts of Kilifi, visiting orphanages and mosques that truly deserve help. It was a long trip full of excitement, laughter, extremely silent moments, feeling the saum pangs moments :D and fatigue. Yet all one could say at the end of it all is that it was entirely worth it.

This was really an eye-opening experience which exposed me to a world I had only heard about. Children and orphans living in small houses, squeezing themselves in the tiny beds with very thin mattresses or none at all, with leaking roofs, torn clothes and empty stomachs. Children having to walk a distance of around forty five minutes to one hour to school and madrassa every single day. These same children who can't even afford one uniform to keep them at school. People who have to walk for two hours to get to the nearest clinic. People who don't even know what three meals are. People who live in very deserted places such that you could have an emergency and die alone in your house without anyone hearing your screams and cries.

I have been to orphanages before but this was different. This was like a different world entirely. Cracked land, brownish water, malnourished children, children parenting other children, children going into the bushes and far distances for firewood every single day. Yet that is their daily life. Many of them probably have no idea of how other people live out there or maybe they do, yet still appreciate their own lives. It is a blessing of some sorts because they are so engrossed in their own livelihoods and their struggles, they barely have time to start comparing themselves with other people or to complain of how they couldn't afford a tuktuk to Mwembe Tayari from Kibokoni today. Their children carry responsibilities beyond their age and they grow up before their right time. And we wonder how very old grandmas from these areas are still very strong and continue to manage the affairs of their homes...this is because they are a product of struggle, endurance and patience. Indeed God only gives you what you can handle.

Our convoy of vehicles included a Dola Truck, Dreamline bus, Istiqama bus and two personal cars with a total of 94 people, all in the name of humanity. I couldn't say there's a better convoy. This was until the Dreamline bus carrying the ladies, broke down after two institutions and unfortunately they had to cut short their trip and go back to Mombasa.

Most people in the Kilifi interior areas keep swapping between religions, switching to what is convenient for their livelihoods. Poverty levels are so high and Islamic faith and knowledge is very little. As such, they confess that most of them change religions according to those who stand by them. When Christian missionaries go and preach and provide food, they become Christians. And when Muslims go to them, they switch again. They are naive and mostly helpless due to their living conditions. They don't even have electricity poles apart from some few places closer to the Kilifi town itself. Some of these places use lamps during the night and taraweh prayers while some imams have to use phone torches to give them some light.The Muslim women lack modest clothing so they just wear whatever they have, their toilets are in a sad state and the mats in their mosques and madrasas are totally worn out. Some of these places got well wishers who built the masjids and madrasas but most of the times it is a one time thing where they do khairat, finish it then leave. As such, their day to day problems of food shortages and high poverty levels remain the same.

Below are some of the places we visited during the trip:

Markaz Rayyan-Mtondia, Kilifi

Madrasatul SSalam- Mtsanganyiko, Kilifi

Masjid Taqwa- Kazandani

Masjid Sakina-Ganze, Kwakumbo

Masjid Istiqama-Mwapula

Masjid Ali-Mdangarani

And lastly was in Mombasa: Anfaal Intergrated- Bamburi and Island Girls-Bombolulu

During the last places we visited, we were quite in a hurry because of the time and the long way back ahead of us and for that, only a few snaps were captured.

Below is a slideshow of some of these places:

Some of the things I learnt from this trip is:

# There are so many people out there who really deserve our help yet we are even oblivious of their struggles and livelihoods.

#There is a lot that still needs to be done in terms of daawah especially in the villages.

#Appreciation of the people who actually take such long trips just to do charity. It takes a big heart to sacrifice their leisure time to endure a tiresome trip and help other people.

#The rizq that is meant for you will still get to you even if you are at the end of the world.

#God doesn't give you a problem unless you can handle it.

#Travel to see and appreciate the world.

#If you think you are having the worst life, reach out to more people and see for yourself.

#Gratitude is essential ALWAYS.

#If we want to restore faith in humanity then we need to do charity more often and more sincerely.

#If you don't focus on someone's 'greener side', you might actually succeed in making your own garden beautiful.

#Breaking the fast in front of a breath-taking sunset (this was at Vipingo while others ate mangoes for iftar :D ) is one of the best things.

If you feel you want to take part in such trips and have your own experience, I have good news for you.

27/5/18- Mombasa Toa Donge lako will be heading to the west for the same charity course covering areas ike Jomvu, Miritini, Kaloleni and Mariakani.

3/6/18- The group will be heading to Likoni Mtongwe, Ukunda, Mswambweni, Gasi in Kwale all the way to Wasini Islands.

10/6/18- There will be a grand iftaar where orphans are fed as well.

You don't really want to miss at least one of these events. It is a very interesting experience with lots of thawabs biidhnillah and since it is Ramadhan, expect more rewards. Ameen.

To participate in the trips or to donate or for inquiries, you can contact Laabied Mohammed Gucharan at 0706 591 911

May Allah bless everyone who facilitated and participated in the trip, those who donated, those who volunteered, those who helped in any way, those who prayed for its success and even those whose hearts wished to be present. May Allah accept our deeds and grant us His Mercy and guidance. Ameen.

P.S Please do include me in your duas!

Ramadhan Mubarak :)

THINKING OUT LOUD: HIJAB & BEING IN DENIAL

Image Courtesy: https://standup4islam.wordpress.com

Can we think of this scenario together please? Yes, thank you for your undivided attention.

So, we all know that Mombasa has been having high crime rates in the recent years right? The youth gangs, mapangas and all the radical groups. Yet if you ask anyone, they'll tell you that Nairobi is the scariest and most dangerous place in this regard. Isn't it why we call it Nairobbery? Whether you are in Mombasa or Nairobi, there is a probability that you might actually be attacked or robbed in either places right? But you'd still take extra precautions to safeguard yourself when in Nairobi than in Mombasa, am I wrong? Great. We agree till this point. Naturally, this is the logical way to deal with these two scenarios according to the threat.

Now that scenario aside, here is a totally different scenario. I have seen this quote several times and I feel it is very deep. It goes like this:

"Was it really my fault?" asked the short skirt.

"No, it happened with me too," replied the burqa.

It is very very deep and what we can stipulate from this quote is that:

#Rape is real.

#Anyone can be a rape victim despite their religion, their age, their looks, their clothing, their race or their lifestyle. Whether you wear rags and live in the streets or are a classy, married woman in your home, rape could get to you.

#We are in a cruel, evil and ugly world. This is our reality.

I mean, this is such a messed up world we are in at the moment. So messed up. We have people marrying their dogs and incest seems normal. How more messed up can it be than it already is really? We have people raping 5 month old babies and 98 year old men. Yes, men are raped too. We are lost and a twisted society.

Now that we have known we live in a perverted world, what are the chances that the one in a burqa will be raped compared to the one wearing provocatively?

The truth is, chances may be close to 50-50 because rapists are just rapists. They just go with how their self drives them. And that's how scary it is. Nonetheless, wouldn't you try at least do whatever you can, to not provoke unnecessary emotions in the man across the street?

Scientifically, men have as much as 20 times more testosterone in their systems than women. This makes men typically aggressive, dominant and more narrowly focused on the physical aspects of sex. They say that in men, the dominant perceptual sense is vision, which is typically not the case with women. In a situation where a woman sees a potential relationship/marriage in a man, he sees her physical features and what he can do to her. Yep, lust is the word. Now, this obviously doesn't justify when men misbehave towards women but at least we are enlightened that men are naturally inclined to women unlike the magnitude women are inclined to men. It is definitely not the same.

Daleel in the qur'an? Allah (S.W) says in surat Al-Imran: {Beautified for men is the love of things they covet (desire); women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allah has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him.} So women are like gems in the eyes of men and this is mentioned in many hadiths, ayats which state that women are for men. Have you seen anywhere in the holy books where it is written on how men are a gift for the women or anything of the sort? No. Because women are the gifts, they are the ones who are precious. This is also why the man has to pay dowry when he wants to marry a lady. She is his gem. Not the other way round. We women hold a high status because yes, a man can't do without a woman. It was why our mother Hawa (R.A.A) was brought into this world; for Adam. Not Adam being brought for Hawa. Are you getting the picture? I hope so.

I am just trying to break this down into small bits so we can stay on the same page.

From the scientific fact mentioned and the ayah up there, do we finally see the wisdom why Allah (S.W.) to cover herself entirely while the man is asked to cover only what is between his knees and belly button? Yes, because men are never going to change any time soon. They'll still stare at you and there is a high probability your daughter will be cat-called and her daughter too. They are naturally and biologically inclined to look at you and flirt and just try to sweep you away. It is not right. It definitely isn't but the reality is that our world is perverted and with social media being here, immorality will remain a challenge for a long time. The few good men who actually observe self-control and respect women, doesn't mean their testosterone is any less, it just means they made a choice to behave appropriately (cheers to the good men aye?)

Getting to my point now, dear fellow Muslim ladies, don't you think we have a responsibility to actually TRY and not provoke these beastly men? Back to the Mombasa/Nairobi example. Don't we think our dressing does have an effect to a certain extent on how men react towards us?

I am sorry but I don't really agree with 'my dress, my choice' because one, it puts our worldly pleasures ahead of what Allah has actually asked from us. Do you think the ladies who observe who observe proper hijab don't wish sometimes they could also doll themselves up and share their images with the world and get praises? That is a natural desire...yet they swallow it up and just laugh when people tell them they look like hababas in their jilbabs and all other kinds of jokes and mockery. It is a struggle for them too yet they still choose deen over dunya. Number two, we tend to forget that our actions do have consequences. Would you rather have a strange man staring at you with your body curves exposed or with you in a full hijab? Rape and harassment aside, we know that that is beyond our control and as said earlier, sometimes you could get raped either way. But still, wouldn't you feel a little bit safer, even if just a tiny bit, safer being in a burqa and he can't really see you as YOU with all your curves and all that? I intentionally highlighted the word 'strange man' because however much you think you know someone; this man who could even be your relative, you just never know when they might actually turn against you. This includes a father, an uncle or even a brother. So yes, they are still strange men and that's why despite us being allowed to be comfortably dressed in front of our mahrams, there is still a limit on how much they should see and a level of modesty to observe. A man is still a man at the end of the day and satan doesn't take a break just because these are people too close to you. The only who man who won't be a stranger to you is your husband who rightfully deserves to see you.

You know what's the saddest part of this story? We are denial. We are in denial that our actions have consequences. We are in denial that we are going wrong. Just to set this straight, I am in the least bit appropriate to talk about the perfect and proper hijab because I also know I am not exactly there. But I also know that this is a concern that we should talk about. My dear sister, when you share your photos of yourself without hijab or an improper dressing, you don't get to complain when men misbehave because both you and the man are in the wrong. You provoked him, he misbehaved. Both are wrong. So you don't get to remove the blame from yourself...at least not entirely. And when a fellow lady comes up to you and humbly (I said humbly) asks you about your hijab or advises you about your improper dressing, you say, 'You can't judge me. Only God can.'

Where we go wrong is not just the sinning, it is the exposing the sin and bringing God into the equation by saying only He can judge you. Sinning is one thing and exposing our sins is another. We all sin in our different ways and perhaps at this point you don't observe the right hijab. That is fine sister. Strive to be a better human being. Pray a lot and get closer to Allah. But you deciding to expose it with the justification that only God should judge you, is you being in denial that your actions have consequences. The prophet peace be upon him said, as stated in sahih Bukhari,

“All of my ummah (nation of followers) will be excused, except for the mujaahireen (those who make their sins known). And verily it is a kind of mujaaharah (exposing one’s sins) that a man does something (sinful) at night, and then in the morning, when Allaah has screened his sin for him, he says, ‘Hey So-and-So! I did such-and-such last night…’ And the night passed with His Lord screening him, and he wakes up casting aside the screen of Allaah from himself.”

We all trip, we all make mistakes...why are we so quick to attack anyone who comes to us to correct us? Why are so bitter to anyone who actually just wants the best for us? We sin, we expose the sin...fine. Someone comes to us in a good way and shows us how we are losing our sense of direction yet we backlash them and criticize them publicly because 'they are being judgmental'

If one is an influencer,the situation becomes even worse because several people amongst the followers who look up to them would regard their actions and words as bible truth and imitate them because they are the role models. Imagine on yaumul qiyamah seeing yourself with a lot of bad deeds, not because you did them but because you did them and influenced other people to follow your footsteps. That said, I really appreciate social media influencers who actually speak out about their hijab (or any other) of their struggles openly and they don't deny they are in the wrong, instead, the say openly how they are trying to change and become better individuals such that their followers don't get a twisted view and do the wrong as well.

We need to accept our mistakes. We need to stop being in denial and accept that our actions have consequences. We have a choice here; whether to be Muslimahs who sin but are striving to change and be better or Muslimahs who sin, expose and justify their sins. (This applies to men too)

That said, if you see me tripping, girl, please find me. Please tell me. Please splash water on my face and widen my eyes. Knock my head hard if I become rebellious and reject the truth. I do want someone to love and care for me enough to show me when I am going wrong. Because yes, those who care for you truly will always try to lead you to what is right.

P.S I know this article will probably provoke some bitterness and anger, so here's my apology in advance. It is not because I am perfect or being judgmental; it is only out of my deep concern on this matter that I write this. It is also okay if you don't agree with my 'thinking out loud', let us agree to disagree. May Allah guide us all, ameen.

The Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) conveyed to us something of the previous prophets’ messages, that “If you have no shame, then do as you wish!”

I rest my case.