This article (edited version) was first published on 'Travel Log Magazine', an insert of Standard Newspaper on 9/1/2020
When you travel out of your country, for whatever reason,
there will always be expectations imposed on you. Nothing will be said to you
directly nor is there an old, smelly manuscript by the ancestors stating what
is exactly expected of you. However, they still exist. And the moment you just
step down from the airplane, your entire community awaits you.
1. Suddenly, you have become the elite of the community and
being elite, comes with a price.
It doesn't matter whether you went out of the country for
studies or business or short holiday or especially when you currently live
there, you are a different person of a different status now. And status comes
with expectations; 'when will you build your parents a kahouse at the farm at
least they enjoy their old age?' 'Your uncle has been very ill. You should chip
in in his medical bill.' 'Are you going to sponsor one of your siblings'
education now that you live in Australia?'
Now, no one really knows what you are doing there; the
struggle, the high cost of living or even your earnings, but apparently, being
out there somehow makes you wealthy. It could be so but perhaps not. Who cares
to ask anyway?!
2. Your entire extended family and community that sometimes
don't even recognize you, expect gifts.
A few weeks or even months before your awaited arrival, the
requests start coming in from your aunty who doesn't really like you, your old
friends you haven't talked to in a year, your ex-neighbor who once did you a
favor decades ago...you name it. Someone wants that designer perfume that isn't
available in Kenya, another wants a blow dryer they saw on TV, another wants a
kasmall laptop tu.
All this while, no one asks you whether you can afford it or
not. Whether you have the ability to get the item or whether it will inconvenience
you. Si uko ulaya? Haya! Deal with it!
3. Somehow, sometimes, a change of accent is considered
betrayal of sorts.
'So you went to live with the wazungus so now you know
better eh? You can't even speak like us anymore!'
Somehow, maintaining your accent equals to honouring your
roots. So doing the opposite get people to gossip how your foreign accent is
'pretential' and 'forced' even though at their own seclusion, in front of their
mirror, they try to imitate 'your enhanced accent' wishing they were you.
4. You MUST have adopted some of their mannerisms isn't it?!
Queer questions will start streaming in, 'I hear that there
is an indigenous community there that eat crows, did you try it out too?' 'I
heard that in their culture, they believe in unicorns, do you think they really
exist?' 'There is a new Korean series, did you watch it while there?'
I mean, there MUST be something new you picked from them
right?!
5. Come cook us a Turkish meal.
You've been in Turkey for how long again? 2 years?! You
should prepare us a Turkish cuisine! I mean isn't that the first thing after
language that people learn in a new country?!
6. My friend, if your grandfather, your parent or any other
individual was supporting you financially before, your travelling/living abroad
cancels that automatically.
You are now expected to act like a fully
independent and a grown up finally! Your problems no longer exist and someone
else definitely deserves the finances. I mean, who lives in Canada while being
poor?! (even if you went to work there as a home care taker). You can never be broke.
You can be broquè though; the elite, classic kind of lacking money. (It should be
added on Modern dictionary!)
7. In fact, you are the loan guy now. You are the first
person everyone thinks of when they are in trouble.
The first person your
reckless cousin calls when caught by the police for over-speeding. The first
person to call when someone gets admitted to school. The first person invited
to a baby shower or wedding. You are expected to act like a malfunctioning ATM
machine.
The expectations come in different shapes and forms but the
bottom line is this: for you to be respected, some of these expectations must
be fulfilled. Once you gain the respect, no doubt, the entire community will be
fond of you. Upon your arrival back home, you will be invited everywhere and be
over-fed until you can barely walk on your two feet. You will be treated like a
dignified individual even with people who never cared about you prior your
‘life-changing journey’. They will ask you for advice on the new business they
want to start or anything else that you entirely have no idea about.
You will be forgiven for your otherwise unacceptable
behavior. They will cut you some slack when you confront your elder with a rude
tone, something that would otherwise have caused a hefty slap on your face. They
will say things like, ‘He has been away for so long, the culture is different
there’ and follow it with a moment of painful silence. Your younger cousins
will call that privilege. The ones older than you will call it misuse of
privilege.
When you are away, people will make video calls. The
children will proudly tell their friends at school, 'I have an aunty in London.
Aha!' That statement will be used as a means to gain friends, appear more
likeable, bully other kids or threaten them. Family gatherings will be
incomplete without you.
The chief of the mtaa will refer to you in the baraza
meetings. Your mother will never refer to you by your name but instead say, 'Si
you know my eldest son? The one in Qatar, working as a manager?'
You are the pride of the community. Don't let them down.
Don't forget your roots huh!
