PIECES OF MY HEART (PART 2)

Image Courtesy: Ahmed Elmawi

Continuing swiftly from where we left off last time:  https://strokesofmypen.blogspot.com/2019/09/pieces-of-my-heart-part-1.html

6. PURPLE HIBISCUS BY CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE

A beautiful, moving and intriguing story of a teenage girl Kambili and her older brother Jaja who come from a rather privileged and respected family. Their father is very generous and admired in the community. However, he was also fanatically religious and tyrannical with his family. Despite the perfect outward image this cute family portrays, there is a lot of tension within the house, built on deep fear of ever crossing their father's limits and set rules. A military coup becomes the reason these young siblings get to experience freedom and deep joy when they move to their aunt's house, outside the city. But when they come back home, the tension heightens. The two young siblings with their mother silently endure the unendurable until they no longer can and someone goes to jail...

It is an emotional roller coaster built upon the family bonds. You will definitely love this one because it is very relatable. High chances you will relate to Kambili and Jaja or you know someone who lives what they've lived through. I am very fond of this book I think mainly because it is family based and really moves one to the core.

7. BORN A CRIME BY TREVOR NOAH

Trevor Noah is one of my favourite comedians without a say but that aside, this book is magnificent by its own glory. In his book, Trevor talks about being 'born a crime'; having parents who are black and Swiss, something that was totally forbidden during the apartheid period in South Africa. He struggles in a huge way to fit in anywhere and he ends up being the boy who could survive everywhere. He learns five languages and how to adapt to the rather racist system.

His mother is a very firm, independent woman who plays a huge role in raising Trevor into being a smart, witty young man. The best part for me is how they develop a tradition where she'd write him letters on his chores and his duties in the house and Trevor would write back to her :D And she would write hilarious statements (in their context) like 'Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him' which is an excerpt from the bible just to threaten him. His mother is literal goals! Then there's his beloved dog Fufi who disappears for a while before learning that he actually has another owner. This also became one of my favourite pieces in the book with the moral of the story being that 'You don't own what you love.'

This book is not only hilarious but there are many instances where we get to learn from the experiences that Trevor lived. The most tragic one being his mother being shot by his own step father. Intense! I know! However, it is always lovely to know the back story of our favourite people in real life. We get to understand where they are coming from and why they are who they are!

8. THE ALCHEMIST BY PAULO COELHO

You definitely, DEFINITELY saw this coming didnt you?! Paulo Coelho is one of the best authors of our times and his books never disappoint but to date, in my opinion, this is his best work yet!!

The story revolves around an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to a desert in Egypt in search of treasure supposedly buried at the pyramids. This young man is both ambitious and thoughtful. Filled with hope, he follows his dreams and explores the land. He meets many different people along his journey to his quest and learns a lot of lessons. At some point he reaches a dead end with his search and he is robbed too. The different experiences push him to take control of his own life and seek out the spiritual world. He gets to the alchemist; who claims he can turn metal to gold and also meet Fatima who affirms to him the reality of fate and the spiritual forces that align with our dreams, goals, choices and beliefs.

The book is magical in its own way and very intriguing. It makes us readers reflect on our inner world and how our core beliefs inevitably affect our lives. This book is almost always amongst everyone's favourite books.

9. THE PARTNER BY JOHN GRISHAM

John Grisham is a master of thrillers and mysteries. This is one of the books that at the end, you throw it to the wall and stare for many moments at nothing; dismayed, shocked!

Patrick Lanigan,the main character of our story is a lawyer who decided to steal 90 million dollars from his law firm then proceeded to fake his own death in a seemingly brutal car accident. Patrick manages to run to Brazil where he changes his entire appearance and changed his name to Danilo Silva. He starts everything afresh so as to not get caught by the FBI who were looking for him. However, four years down the line he is arrested by the FBI agents at a small town called Ponta Porã.

During the years of his escape, he had a partner by the name of Eva Miranda alias Leah Pires. He entrusts her with EVERYTHING. From covering his tracks to hiding the money, to withdrawals and deposits to disappearing from the world's existence. She was the perfect partner...until she wasn't...

I'll leave it at that so y'all can read it on your own. Nonetheless, it was really captivating and intriguing :D

10. LAND OF THE LIVING BY NICCI FRENCH

I came across this book by mere chance at second hand book stalls and I was hesitant because I had never read the author. But then I went ahead and took it with me (see? sometimes you gotta give unknown authors to you or new ones a chance) When I started reading, I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN. The books puts you at the edge and the suspense is intense!!

The story is about a young lady who finds herself in a dark, unknown location and quite disoriented. Abbie Devereaux can't remember her recent past or how she got here with a strange man who keeps promising her death. Abbie stays for long hours alone, imagining the sun and butterflies while still having nightmares; being hopeful that someday she will make it to her world again. However, a twist of events happen when Abbie finally gets to escape and resume her normal life...but guess what? People don't believe her story. Her doctors think it is a fantasy merely made up by Abbie. It is then that Abbie realizes that her before life had been destroyed too. She is terrified whether her kidnapper would find her again. Would she ever remember what exactly happened to her? Abbie therefore desperately tries to reconstruct her life, taking step by step into the past to find out what exactly took place and also prove what everyone didn't believe...Exciting, thrilling, terrifying!!! If you love thrillers, you should consider this.

___

Now something I learnt, people have different tastes in books just like everything else. Been checking reviews od the different books I have mentioned so far and I was shocked to find some of my favourites were somebody's 'total waste of time'. Sooo...I am not promising anything but I believe my taste is above average good :) Enjoy!!

Other great books (in my opinion):

-Reclaim your heart by Yasmin Mogahed

-Enjoy your life by Mohammad Al-Arefe

-I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou

-When Breath becomes air by Paul Kalanishi

-I too had a love story by Ravinder Singh

-A walk to remember by Nicholas Sparks

-Nothing lasts forever by Sidney sheldon

-Tell me your dreams by Sidney Sheldon

-The Street Lawyer by John Grisham

-The Poet by Michael Connelly

-The Spy by Paulo Coelho

Local authors (with their instagram handles to get yourself some copies 😊)

-The Striving Soul by meeeee (Contact me at 0704 731 560 to get yours now!!)

-Point of deflection by Dr Mohammad Bahaidar (and 3 other books) @dr.bahaidar

-The billionaire sahaba by Suleiman Ndoro @_draudi

-A Painted Inspiration from the Palm-Fringed Beaches: A Collection of Inspirational Quotes by Salma Abdulatif @expressing_through_salummy

-Building a Million dollar business by Aminah Suleiman @wa_kwale_

-Drunk by Jackson Biko @bikozulu

-Too pretty to be broke by Joan @joanthatiah

Among many many other great books!! Pardon me if I forgot to mention your favourite 😊

Don't forget to subscribe below and share!! Thank you!

PIECES OF MY HEART (PART 1)

Image Courtesy: https://www.bookurve.com

I am not an avid reader. There, I said it! In broad daylight! (Or rather, in dark nightlight :D ) Do nerds do honor killing as well? Coz I could be the next victim of a 'ruthless word-murder case on twitter.' It is always on twitter, right? However, I am a big believer of quality over quantity (See my excuse :D ) I love taking time with books so that I can really absorb and ponder what's in it. Also, overthink about everything in it, the sequel if there was any, feel the pain of the characters excessively to a fault and take time to heal too lol. The only books I don't keep down are the thriller/crime/mystery books (which are my favourites by the way) because I totally love how they keep me on the edge. Sometimes though, we have the reallllyyy moving books that are just too profound to keep down, those too. Otherwise, I'm not rushing anywhere. Quality reading y'all! (P.S I really respect avid readers. I admire their deep commitment).

Good Lord. We have some really A.M.A.Z.I.N.G books out there and picking the best ones is really a task. Nonetheless, here are my top books that I've read so far:

Please note that there may be a feeew spoilers here!

1. THE KITE RUNNER BY KHALED HOSSEINI

I LOVE THIS BOOK. I LOVE KHALED HOSSEINI. And to date there is no single book I have ever read that made me feel what I feel about the Kite Runner or even Khaled Hosseini's works. He is the absolute best writer ever. Don't argue with me!

The Kite Runner is a coming-of-age story revolving around Amir (who longs deeply for his father's affection), his best friend Hassan, Hassan's father Ali (who is the servant of Amir's family) and the very tragic war in Afghanistan. Amir and Hassan share an extra-ordinary bond of friendship and love but the unthinkable happens when Amir betrays his childhood best friend at a very critical moment (no spoilers!) They eventually separate when Amir immigrates with his father to US. The story has a huge plot twist, a very sad one,towards the end of the story concerning the two boys.

This book is very sweet, and heart-breaking, and sad, and heart-warming and very moving at the same time. An emotional roller coaster. And perhaps I love it deeply because the story-line concentrates a lot on friendship, something I really value. It has a special place in my heart and I never lend this book to anyone unless I REALLY trust you because 'I AM GIVING YOU A PIECE OF MY HEART' :D It is one of those books you finish reading and you HATE that you are done with it, yet you are crying and you hate that it made you cry but you still text your friend and say, 'You MUST read this book. 11/10 recommend!'

Honestly, Khaled Hosseini is my writing guru. Ultimately, I hope that one day I can write and move mountains within people like he does with his stories (and in real life too!! He does a lot of projects helping refugees!!)

2. A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS BY KHALED HOSSEINI

YES!! HIM AGAIN!! And when you read the book you will understand why.

This book will STING you to the core. The story revolves around two women; Mariam and Laila.

Mariam is the illegitimate daughter of a wealthy businessman which makes her and her mother, Nana as outcasts. Mariam loves her father dearly and yearns to live with him at all times. However, this desire leads to her mother's death and eventually her forced marriage. On the other galaxy, is Laila, a young girl loses both her parents due to a stray rocket during the soviet union invasion in Afghanistan. Laila loses her best friend too, Tariq whose family decides to move to Pakistan.

An unexpected twist happens when Mariam's husband decides to marry the young Laila as his second wife since Mariam had failed to conceive. The two wom

en don't get along at first but they eventually realize they are both on the same side.

The story is about their huge struggles as women, instances where society fails them in a terrible way and how fate brings them together to become co-wives. The story has themes on fate, war, marriage, domestic violence, machoism, the plight of the girl child, culture, family and mostly love; the struggles that Laila and Tariq experience (don't ask me if they meet again. READ THE BOOK!!), in pursuit of their happy ending. This book will make you CRY (or maybe I just cry a lot lol) but either way you will have that kiazi on your throat in several instances in the book. It is a master-piece. A tragic one but a really beautiful one nonetheless.

You can thank me later!!

3. A TEMPORARY GIFT BY ASMAA HUSSEIN

Amr Kassem a 26 year old man, was murdered in 2013 while going home after a peaceful protest in Alexandria, Egypt.  Him and the many other people were rallying against the mass injustices under the command of AbdelFattah al-Sisi. He left behind his very heart-broken widow, Asmaa and their daughter Ruqaya. The book consists of journal entries of his widow, Asmaa, two years after his death. 

The book is sweet, heart-warming (concerning the two as a couple), spiritual but mostly heart-breaking. The intensity of it is on another level. I however love how despite the deep darkness, Asmaa was always seeking God and light. She would find the courage to trust that God's plan is the best.  It is definitely a spiritually uplifting book that will be a game-changer for so many people.

The book talks on love, marriage, fate, death, deep grief, faith, and outstanding patience.

By the way, this is a true story, not fiction. You can check out her page on Instagram @ruqayas.bookshelf or her website: ruqayasbookshelf.com in which this book is sold as well. Help a widow by buying her book y'all :)

4. THE BOOK THIEF BY  MARKUS ZUSAK

First, this book is very unique because DEATH is the narrator in the book (Imagine hearing Death's point of view of people and life!) He tells the story of Liesel, a young girl who has a traumatic experience of losing her younger brother during their journey to the Hans family (which adopts her) and thereafter losing her mother who leaves never to return. Liesel steals several books in the story, thus becoming 'the book thief' and it is this deep love of books that eventually saved her from death.

The family that adopted her was of Hans Hubermann and Rosa, who she doesn't like much at first. The story happens during the world war II in Germany and despite them not being Jewish, they do not agree with the Nazi regime. They then hide a Jewish boy, Max, in their basement to protect him, who thereafter becomes very fond of young Liesel.

Liesel also forms a special friendship with Rudy Steiner, who impacts her life in a huge way. Their bond is highlighted in a large part of the book which makes it very intriguing.

The story takes a slow move at first and takes a while before it catches up speed (It is a big book). I almost underestimated it because I am not a big fan of slow moving stories, however, I am very glad to have given Markus a chance and read his work to the end.

I believe this is one of the most powerful books ever written. Liesel will steal your heart with her innocence, her pain, her love for books and her sweet nature. The story revolves around war, love, kindness, books, friendship and cruelty.

5. TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE BY MITCH ALBOM

This is a memoir of a student, Mitch and his ailing professor, Morrie who is diagnosed with ALS (a disease that causes the death of neurons controlling voluntary muscles). Upon knowledge of his professor's ailment, 16 years after his graduation, he visits him and spends valuable time with him. For the next fourteen weeks, Mitch visits Morrie every Tuesday and they discuss issues like death, self-pity, family, marriage, aging, and a wide variety of other topics. We get to experience death alongside Morrie whose health deteriorates over the weeks but in the meanwhile, learn very valuable lessons that Mitch learns from him.

I say this is a book of wisdom, especially considering this is a true story. The bond between teacher and student is very beautiful and from the two, you learn truths about life and you are challenged too. This is the kind of book you sit with a pencil or a highlighter because it is a journey worth noting down.

There are many many books I want to talk about and deserve to be talked about but I chose this because I learn a lot from the above mentioned. I also now realize all these are rather 'sad' stories, but good news is, it is TOTALLY worth the tears. Enjoy!!

P.S. Part 2 will be more exciting stories I promise! In shaa Allah.

THIS IS THE DAY OF EID

Buzz! Buzz! You check your phone for the fiftieth time. You scroll lazily through the messages; Eid Mubarak, Eid Saeed! Each one more similar than the previous. You create a quick broadcast of all close friends, family and colleagues and forward the last message you just received. Okay done, one less thing to worry about. It is almost midnight but the house couldn’t be livelier. The smell of fresh paint, oud and freshly baked cookies choke your throat. Your elder brother is changing the curtains, your mother is still whining about the slightly burnt cake and your teenage brother has made himself the designated taster, picking the well laid snacks one plate after another. The kitchen is a big mess. The sitting room however, is spick and span. If your nosey neighbours were to come as early as 6 a.m. you’d be proud of your little home. We can worry about the kitchen in the morning, everyone suggests. Yet everyone knows that the morning would be more hectic than the last ten days combined.

You try to sleep but your anxious mind wouldn’t let you close your eyes. Did I return the remaining milk in the fridge? Ah, I forgot to send an Eid message to aunty. I should do that first thing in the morning. Now what will we do about the burnt cake? Your eyes finally shut but your mind is still racing with thoughts. Your back is aching from bending over at the traditional ‘mbuzi’, grating several coconuts to prepare mkate wa sinia. You remember your pretty, flowery dress and smile, satisfied. It doesn’t even last you a minute, your mother knocks at your door. ‘Minal aidin!’ she wakes you up. You have barely slept and you have too many reasons to whine about. But it is Eid isn’t it? It is a big day and plus, there’s no time to ask for more time to sleep. So you jump out of bed and kiss your mother, ‘Minal faizeen’.

The entire family is awake for the dawn prayer. Your father and brothers go to the mosque while you, your mother and sisters pray at home. Everyone thereafter disperses to a corner; your brother is ironing his kanzu for the Eid prayer about to happen in almost two hours. Your younger sister is laying out her entire attire from head to toe, ready for a shower while your younger brother is still ‘tasting’. Your father is watching the Eid celebrations in Makkah while your mother is setting up the table. You are in between cleaning the kitchen, checking social media, sharing Eid messages and taking bites here and there.

The table is a beautiful sight. All kind of food is laid out from your slightly burnt cake, to cookies, to donuts, to samosas, to home-made chocolate, to mkate wa sinia to meat pies. Coffee and dates wouldn’t miss either. No one has the time to sit and eat yet so everyone is picking a bite in between doing other things. The phones keep ringing; aunties, friends, cousins, all calling to wish your family Eid Mubarak.

The kitchen is finally clean and one by one, each dresses up for the special occasion. Oud fragrance fills the air and soon enough, we’re all taking photos. The entire family heads to the open-ground where the Eid prayer would be performed. There’s a lot of laughter, hugs, kisses and merry everywhere. Little children are running around in cute dresses and kanzus, greeting almost every elder they meet. It is a reunion; old friends, relatives, all neighbours are there. A beautiful moment. A memorable time. The takbiras can be heard all over the area, people chanting and chorusing, ‘Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, La ilaha illa Llahu. Wa Llahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar wa lillahi Lhamd…’ (Allah is the greatest, Allah is the greatest, there is no god but Allah. And Allah is the greatest, Allah is the greatest and to Allah belongs all praise.)

The prayers are done and a multitude of people walk home together; many white and coloured kanzus and bright buibuis. There’s a heavy traffic jam, cars hooting and lots of smiles on the road.

Back home, your mother sets aside plates with food for the neighbours and your younger brother is tasked to make the deliveries. You’re not sure if the food will arrive safely without him ‘tasting’ some more but you’ve given him enough warning to scare his ever-hungry stomach. You can’t wait for the plates to be brought back from the neighbours’ because they never come back empty. You’re eyeing for the very sweet ‘mkate wa mayai’ and kebabs that mama Zeinab makes.

You now all sit down to officially feast and taste the fruits of your labour, literally! Children soon come knocking on the door asking for ‘Eidi mbarak’ and your mother has all these coins and sweets prepared for them. After the heavy, palatable breakfast, you now have the energy to go visit your relatives one after another.

You decide with your siblings on the map to follow, from house to house. Everywhere you go, you are fed once more and the juices are enough to last you the entire week. Your baby sister is given ‘eidi’ with your aunties and uncles and you see her boasting to other cousins the amount she has received yet. It makes you nostalgic. Gone were the days when you’d be the one receiving the money. Ironically, aren’t you the one needing the money more than your baby sister?! You sigh. Before you drown in your financial crisis thoughts, your mother pulls your baby sister aside and whispers, ‘let me keep the money safely for you. If you need anything you’ll tell me.’ You laugh. You know the trick but your naïve sister hasn’t learnt yet. So she gives out the money not knowing she’ll never see it again. You can’t wait to do that to your own kids someday…just for the culture!

Lunch hour, the extended family gathers at the eldest uncle’s house for his famous biryani. The house is full, the stomachs are fuller and the hearts are fullest. The elders sit together at the sitting room conversing endlessly and laughing loudly. The children are running around. The young adults are confused as usual, trying to be everywhere with everyone.

The afternoon sets in and Eid is never complete without the gwaride. Drums and trumpets blowing loudly within the Old town. The team moves from one household to another in their red, blue and black uniforms and ugly masks. Children and adults altogether following the troupe as the kids jump up and down, singing and chorusing along, ‘twataka leo leo!’ When they’ve had enough of the singing and the troupe has gone further way from home, the children come back.

Your baby sister comes and whispers in your mother’s ears while the other children wait at the door anxiously. They want to go ‘bembeani’ at the famous Makadara grounds. As usual, you and your other cousin who’s your age mate are the allocated baby sitters. You are given some money to spend on your baby sister’s games, play and food. Off you set with your group of naughty kids, babysitting them at home is hectic enough let alone in a public, crowded space. However, you and your age mate have plans to have fun too because who said swings have an age limit?! You just have cross your fingers that you don’t lose any of your ‘ducklings’!

***

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TAKING THE BEST FROM GOODBYES

It is strange isn't it? That sometimes you never see the goodbye coming. You are totally oblivious of the 'end' that is about to happen. Just two days ago you were laughing loudly across the hall with your work mate and today they are fired out of the blue. A few chats back, you were having a late night conversation with a dear friend and now they are no longer in your life. Your relative sends you a forward message on WhatsApp and the next day they die. Sometimes you can't even remember what exactly happened. You can't exactly remember what that laugh was about or what that late night conversation entailed. You can't remember if your relative was sick in the first place. You just didn't know that would be the last time you'd hear from them. Sometimes death is what separates us but sometimes, it is nothing like that. We got busy. We held grudges. We went to another town. We got other responsibilities. We had children. We formed new friendships. We changed jobs. We grew. We changed. It is but life they say...

For some of us, goodbyes hit us harder than the rest. We want to understand why it happened, what better could we have done for them, what mistakes we did towards them. Letting go is an art and it is definitely one that's not very easy to master. There are some things we can never control and the staying and departure of our loved ones is one of them. You can do whatever you want; be the best human being on earth, sweetest Cherry ever, yet you are still going to lose some people in your life. There is no magic trick for this. We ought to accept that so as to have solace. Nonetheless, there are some things we can do for our own sake in order to live a peaceful life.

1. Always have it at the back of your mind that this life is temporary. You. Your loved ones. The people and everything in it. This includes both the good and bad moments. You are definitely going to be separated from them one way or another. Whether you like it or not. This doesn't mean that you live your entire life waiting for this heart-breaking moment to happen, but you live each day to your best ability with those you care about, knowing very well that nothing lasts forever. One day we are here, the next we are not. We might as well make the best use of TODAY.

2. Be kind. Always. Now that we already know how temporary life is, that means we also accept the uncertainty that comes with it. You just never know when would be the last time. For you. For others. For you and others. So be kind to yourself and others always. Treat them with compassion like it is their last day with you (because it could very well be?) or their very last day on this earth. Be there for them. Love them. Support them. APPRECIATE them. Be at your best so long as it doesn't be at the cost of your own well-being.

3. There are some people you will have to unapologetically cut off. As much as kindness is divine, it doesn't mean we allow other people to step on us or take advantage. Make sure you are keen enough to see who genuinely means well and who is being toxic to you. And sometimes toxicity is so subtle we don't even realize how we are being affected negatively by the people we are around. Whether it is friends who only use us. Or people with no goals whatsoever in life. Or those with a negative mindset ALWAYS (We all have phases we feel negative). Or those who are always gossiping and their noses in other people's business. Look carefully at the people in your life and screen them. Are these the people I REALLY want to be around??!

4. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. There is something so refreshing about forgiveness. Trust me as I say this because as a very anxious person, conflicts have always affected me in a huge way. But the moment I was able to genuinely forgive MYSELF first and those who wronged me, I realized that there is no more refreshing feeling in this world than being able to forgive. It makes you feel invincible. It makes you feel in power. It is you telling the world that despite what you throw at me, I'll never let you ruin me. And forgiving those who hurt you and left your life doesn't necessarily mean you have to keep in touch with them or stay friends with them. It just means you are at peace with yourself and them despite the circumstances that led to the goodbye.

5. Pray. For yourself and your loved ones. Never underestimate what prayer does. Pray for the people you care about and the same will be granted to you. Pray for their peace. For their health. For their well-being. For their success. For your relationship with them. Even after you've parted ways and life has driven you far away, pray for each other. Because perhaps we can't control what life brings or takes, but we can control what we do before and after that.

This life is simple yet very complicated. They say, it is what you make out of it. No human being can be positive 24/7 for their entire lifetime but that shouldn't make us drown in our miseries and difficulties. We have to work on ourselves to ensure that we are always growing, always a 'work-in-progress', always making lemonade from the lemons...always learning to be the best version of ourselves...

***

 

The books are available at the following location: IOU centre, Chetna Restaurant, 2nd floor. Along Haile Sellasie Road (Ahead of Oil Libya petrol station and just before Royal Court hotel) Contact: 0770 136 463/0770 630 997. 

In Nairobi, we have some few copies available with Ahmed: 0718 232 852

BOOK REVIEW: THE STRIVING SOUL

Photo Courtesy: Ahmed Elmawi

Guest Post by: Ayan Ali Abdi

Have you ever had the experience of reading a book till the end, closing it, watching the world move on while you lay there feeling like you just lost a bosom friend?

DISCLAIMER

All views expressed here are my own and do NOT represent the opinion of any entity. I have also NOT received payment of any kind that I’m aware of.

All you are left with is a wistful collection of the writer’s words of wisdom that you obsessively re-read to feel their presence again. You wish you could turn back time just a little, back to the moment you opened the first page. Well, if that hasn’t happened to you yet, let me introduce you to my lost friend The Striving Soul.

We have been inseparable!

When I first got hold of it, something strange caught my attention. Some of the pages were essentially blank apart from a few paragraphs at the top. “Mmm, that’s not very economical.” I thought to myself as I began reading.

I was barely two pages in when, lo and behold I just had a startling realization! The few words at the top were so powerful, so thought-provoking you needed the space to breathe, to contemplate, to let it resonate with your whole being.

I literally had to tear myself away from the book after every few pages. I just couldn’t rush through it, not with the kind of emotions it aroused. I was left feeling both gratified and saddened when I reached the final page.

The author began writing consistently at the young age of 12, started a successful blog lubnah.me.ke at the age of 25 which was nominated by BAKE(Bloggers Association of Kenya) in 2016 among the top 5 creative writing blogs in Kenya, is a part time lecturer and has written two biographies; Unbroken Wings published in 2017 and Dropped to the world, Adopted by Faith published in 2018. I mean, need I say more? 😊

The book touches on the struggles we all face albeit to varying degrees such as anxiety, depression, loneliness, shame, the need for recognition, the need to fit in, sexual harassment but in a way that inspires you to rise above the feeling of complete powerlessness and to embrace your true power.

The writer implores you to wear your emotional scars as the ornaments they are and to use them to fuel your success.

The language is simple and easy to comprehend but each word weighs heavily on your heart. I cried, I smiled and I revelled in it’s beauty.

If you are the kind of person who isn’t given to philosophical contemplation in any significant sense then this book is sadly not for you.

Nothing I have said above could honestly do justice to this book, the excerpt below will speak volumes instead:

Everyone thinks they’ve had it worse. Everyone thinks their story is more devastating, more terrifying, more everything. But everyone carries trauma. We’ve all hit rock bottom, we’ve all been pushed to the edge, we’ve all felt shattered we thought we’d never rise again. True, some people have it worse, but we are all on the same ship in unpredictable weather. We could sink any moment and not everyone can swim against the currents. Not everyone survives. -The Striving Soul

It’s a book I would probably never pass on, never lend out but you can contact this number; 0704 731 560 or order via Instagram @strokes.of.my.pen to get your copy for just 1000Ksh. Thank me later.

I repeat for the sake of emphasis, I do NOT stand to benefit from the book’s purchase in any way.

Have you read a book you absolutely adored? Please let me know below. I would love to check it out.

Peace.

***

You can read more of her work at: https://kenyanmuslimah.com/

***

The books are available at the following location:

IOU centre,

Chetna Restaurant, 2nd floor.

Along Haile Sellasie Road (Ahead of Oil Libya petrol station and just before Royal Court hotel)

Contact: 0770 136 463/0770 630 997

In Nairobi, we have some few copies available with Ahmed: 0718 232 852

8 KINDS OF HOSTS YOU ARE LIKELY TO MEET

This article (edited version) was first published on ‘Travel Log Magazine’ an insert of Standard Newspaper on 5/7/2019

Do you remember that one family that you stayed with and you decided to never ever stay at someone’s home again? Or perhaps that one warm family that treated you too well this one time you visited, you now have a permanent suitcase at their home ‘in case’ you need a bed for the night. I bet we all have memories of the places we’ve been to and the different kinds of hosts we’ve met. Some are pretty lovely, some are weird, disgusting, and entertaining…the list is endless. Here are a few examples of the kind of hosts you’re most likely to meet:

1. PANIC MODE:

From the moment you make that phone call on your visit, they become on a panic mode. An emergency general clean-up of the house will be done even when the house was already clean enough. They will over-stock the fridge with all kind of groceries because ‘how will I know what they love?’ They will stress over the ‘master piece’ drawings on the walls done by the children. They will worry about the seemingly old bed sheets. They will overcook for your entire stay. Ask you a hundred times in the least if ‘you need anything’. They will be on their feet as early as 4 a.m. in the morning to ensure breakfast is ready by the time you’re up. It doesn’t matter if you’re a very close family member, a friend or even a colleague, they’ll still overstretch themselves to ensure you have a comfortable stay.

2. VISITORS MEANS FEASTING:

They are the literal example of ‘mgeni aje, mwenyeji apone’ because now that we have visitors, we have the perfect reason to over-spend and over-eat. They will break their piggy banks, pull out the hidden money under the mattress, and withdraw all their savings from the bank just to make the best out of the situation. They will put a pause to their diet and FEAST on all that they couldn’t eat in the past year because now ‘I can’t leave the visitor eat different food. It doesn’t seem good.’ They will go for fancy shopping sprees, spoil the visitor thoroughly while spoiling themselves too. ‘You Only Live Once’ becomes their new daily mantra till the stay is over and they’re left with an empty pocket, debts and some extra kilos of body fat. ‘Welcome back to reality pal!’

3. YOU ARE NOT A VISITOR:

It doesn’t matter what your relationship is with the host or how long you plan to stay but you must play a role in the house chores. They will ensure you help around whether it is by washing the dishes after meals or even picking their child from the day-care in the evening. So long as you eat and sleep in this house, you won’t be favoured in any way. Keep working!

4. THE INTRUDER:

Don’t leave your phone for a second and they’re already deep in the photo gallery, or even worse, replying your messages. They will randomly open your suitcase to peep at your clothes, or use your laptop without your permission. They have no idea whatsoever on how to give one their personal space.

5. THE WARM HOME:

They will make you feel very welcome and ensure that you have the best time at their home. They will entertain you and feed you well. They will sacrifice their time and energy to give you company whenever they can. They ensure you’re comfortable enough to feel free and do as you please in their house.

6. FOOD AND ROOF ONLY:

It is like you’re in a hotel but only difference is you have some ‘company’. They’re present but it’s like you’re non-existent to them. Everyone in the house is busy doing something of their own and the only time anyone talks to you is to call you for a painfully silent meal. Pretty much like those boring hostel roommates at college. You can’t expect anything more from them apart from food and roof. But at least you have that, can you complain really?!

7. AIRING THE DIRTY LAUNDRY

These people will not pretend to be jolly when they’re not. They won’t wear plastered smiles to please you. As long as you’re in the house, you’re in it. You will hear them shouting to each other, throwing abusive words, as you stand by your room door with your mouth agape. You will hear something heavy fall. Someone screaming. Perhaps a chair or the small wooden stool has been thrown. Becomes even worse when it is not just a couple but a family and now everyone is throwing words at everyone and you have absolutely no idea what to do. Should you stay in your room and pretend you see nothing, you hear nothing? Or should you walk out and try calming them down? What do you do at the dinner table when it is all tense and extremely quiet? You have an entire two weeks to figure that out. All the best with your stay though!

8. HINT DROPPER:

‘So when are you planning to go to the City?’

‘When did you say your friend will be picking you up?’

‘My sister has been waiting for me so we travel to Dubai together. I am just here because of you. Ni sawa lakini.’

Your hosts will not fail to drop you hints that it is high time you leave because well, isn’t it high time? They say ‘akufukuzaye hakuambii toka’. So please get the hints and find another place to crash in.

Reflecting back, what kind of host are you? Have you ever thought whether your visitors would ever want to stay with you again or are you the nightmare that made someone’s child despise visiting any home entirely?!

THE BLACK CROW

This article (edited version) was first published on 'Travel Log Magazine' an insert of Standard Newspaper on 6/6/2019

Anywhere you go outside what you consider home, you will experience culture shock. Different races, languages, accents, weird behaviours, unique looks, interesting concepts. That is not unless you are a Muslim hijabi woman then YOU are the culture shock. Even in the twenty first Century where human rights activism is like a cup of tea for anyone and everyone as long as you have a bold, loud voice and an active twitter account, you will still be viewed in a peculiar way.

As soon as you walk into that international conference at the registration desk, the first thing the receptionist will do is view you head to toe. They will give you the ‘are you sure you are at the right place?’ look, frowning and perusing through the pages of the names of attendants. You get it. You are a typical mshamba looking Muslim lady. At least that’s how they view you; backward. You are in full black like a crow of doom. You probably remind them of that widow at your village who wore full black for an entire six months after her husband passed away. The woman would wail and weep and grieve hysterically every day at the worship area, the villagers started avoiding prayers entirely. Yeah, you my friend remind them of the Dark Age where women had no say and their only place was the kitchen. You are an ugly dejavu.

You humbly say your name and creases form on their forehead, ‘Ati?! …I can’t find that name here’ they’d say as you patiently wait. She takes forever before your exotic, out-of-this-world name is found.

‘Aha! Here is your name. Sorry for the delay,’ the receptionist murmurs as they struggle to give you a smile and your wrongly written name.

The minute you walk in, you’re invisible. You immediately drown in the crowd. Everyone is talking to somebody. Laughter. Intense conversations. Introductions. No one is interested in knowing who you are. Why you are there or even bothered by it. You just don’t matter. You don’t fit in.

You try to start a conversation with that sweet looking lady next to you and just when she is about to respond, she is pulled aside by another lady who probably thinks what she has to say is more important.

People will actively avoid you, ignore you. Well that is until the conference begins and you get to officially introduce yourself. The look on their faces is priceless when you mention your credentials. The ‘Ohh! I didn’t see that coming’ look. The ‘Wow’ expression on their faces. And you think to yourself, ‘Huh! On your faces!’ Suddenly, they value your opinion. Suddenly, your thoughts matter. Suddenly, you are the one being pulled aside for questions and connections and future deals.

But that is never the end of it. There must be the interrogation session during the tea and lunch breaks. They will always have questions for you. Not about what brought you there. Not about the super-intelligent response you gave. Not about your ideas. Not about your mind-blowing project or pick your very smart brain. Rather, it is about your very amusing choice of dressing. They’d ask why you don’t shake hands with male after they had initially concluded it as an act of racism. They’d ask whether you’re married and have kids because ‘what better do Muslim ladies know other than marriage?!’ They’d ask about how non-Muslim men can successfully marry into your religion and tribe.

They’d ask about your very black buibui and scarf. They’d ask sarcastically if your religion and culture prevents you from wearing heels too since you’re wearing your very comfortable sneakers. Some lady might even be kind enough to give you ‘first impression tips.’

“You are very intelligent I see. You need to come out of your cocoon if you want to grow further and achieve even more.”

“Come on, don’t be like an old mama…your face deserves some spice up…”

“You know, if you want people to take you seriously you need to make some changes here and there with your wardrobe. Like that over-sized, over-spacious buibui that you wear could fit two of you, why don’t you take it to the tailor? Or even better, why don’t you wear a coloured dress, it doesn’t have to be immodest. You can still wear long sleeves and full length wear?”

And of course that is something you can do. You can wear a long modest dress because buibui originates from the Coastal culture and not exactly religion. You do respect women who wear differently and appreciate them for what they bring to the table. Why then shouldn’t the respect be reciprocated?

You try to explain it to them. That the purpose of hijab is to make a woman be inconspicuous, not in terms of having a voice, not in terms of being educated, not in terms of being empowered or having a job but in terms of physical outlook. In terms of concealing her beauty except for the right individuals. If one’s personal choice to be modest is wear black, why should it bother anyone? Why does the world preach ‘My dress My choice’ and still have double standards about it? Why do we say that ‘No one should tell a woman what to do with her life’ yet still judge the woman who intentionally chooses to make her brain and her behaviour the more important aspect of her life rather than the size and colour of her dressing? But you already know how this will roll. Questions, heated discussions, more questions. The men simply don’t get it and the women feel you are caged. Even after your lengthy explanations, they still won’t change their fixed mind-set of you or your backward choices.

You sigh loudly and have an enigmatic smile on you. You’d expect that stereotyping and discrimination would be less in an international, intercultural, seemingly open-minded audience. Yet, here you are!

You sit calmly, listening to all their suggestions, jokes, and mocks, unaffected. Because you’ve heard it all. You’ve heard the same things over and over and over again, you’re amused at the extents people can go to make you feel small. They will remind you over and over that for you to be a dignified, successful lady there must be compromises to be made. There must be some adjustments. You must spice up your principles so as to fit in.

So here you are, with all these thought-provoking conversations, all these brilliant ideas that will rot in your head because everyone is worried about your choice of dressing, your cooking methods and whether you’re married or not. What a disgrace.

You are now thinking of starting a Black Crow hashtag and movement on twitter with your 237 followers. Your bio will probably read something like, ‘If you don’t value my brain, you don’t deserve my time’ then have that famous little, smug goat meme as your profile picture.

And now you’re ready to roll.

‘I am the Black Crow. Unstereotype Me.’