THE MERCY OF ALL MERCIES

ALLAH’S MERCY

Photo courtesy: Monica Catherine

BY LUBNAH ABDULHALIM

I looked at the beautiful sea in front of me and took a deep sigh. This is going to be my last time to ever see this wonderful scenario. This is going to be the end of me, the end of all my sins, the end of everything…I took a step forward and climbed over the first metal rail of the bridge. The wind was softly slapping my face as the tears went on flowing. Then a soft little hand held my shoulder and said, “Don’t do it!”

I turned around in surprise and in front of me was a little girl. She looked so messy and in rags. I looked at her deep brown eyes which seemed so happy and content. Without a word, I turned back to the ocean ahead of me but the hand firmly pulled me aside.

Looking into my eyes, she said: “what could be the worst that could have happened?”

“You won’t understand little girl. Please let me do this peacefully.”

The little girl didn’t let me go and insisted to hear my answer.

“I have done a lot of sins and God will never forgive me…now, will you please let me go?”

“Allah (SW) says: “Say: "O 'Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (az-zumar: 53)

“But my mother died because of me…I am to blame. She passed away after getting the news that I’m pregnant.”

“Allah (SW) says: “Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us you will be returned.” (an-biya’a: 35)My mother died while giving birth to me, should I take the blame?”

I looked at her in more surprise.

“I regret all that happened and I want to repent but I don’t know where to start from. Will God ever forgive me?”

 “Allah (SW) says: “…Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (al-imran: 159)

“But I am so lonely, with no one at all.”

 Allah (SW) says “ And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge).” (qaf: 16) I have been in the streets but I have never felt lonely because I know Allah is with me.”“Right now I am so restless and confused.”

“Allah (SW) says: “…Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (ar-rad: 28)“But I don’t know what to do anymore!”

“Allah (SW) says: “ And your Lord said: "Invoke Me, [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation)…” (ghafir: 60) and He also said: “Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you…” (baqarah: 152)

“Where will I live now? How? With what money? can you answer me that?”

“Allah (SW) says: “...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).” (At-talaq: 2) I’ve been in the streets and I’ve never slept hungry.”

I was so touched by the girl’s words then I asked her,

“Where did you learn all this while you are in the streets?”

“From my father before he died too.”

I stood quietly for a moment. What had I done throughout my 18 years? I had all the love from my parents but I never appreciated it. I had all the wealth to help street children like these but I never did. I had all the chances to acquire such knowledge of my Lord but I never bothered and now, I have to hear it from a little girl like this, what a shame!”

The girl suddenly interrupted my thoughts,

“Go find your life, surely Allah (SW) has written a share of the world for you…and never forget, Allah (SW) says: “And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah - And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” (Al-imran: 135) Repent, pray, love, share and you’ll have all the happiness you need; just like me.” The little girl left without any other word and I just realized, there was a lot of good I could do to myself than committing suicide. I turned away from the ocean and looked ahead of me- God loves me and I know He will forgive me, guide me and grant me my needs with His will…

THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

                                             THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL

Photo Courtesy: Salem_beliegraphy

I remember when i was thirteen years old, my closest friend decided to replace me as her bestfriend with another girl. i was apparently so hurt at that and wrote her a two paged letter filled with so much bitterness and was listing down all the sacrifices i did for her sake and the way she didnt appreciate. As i was writing the letter, my mother appeared and saw it. she read it through and gasped with astonishment, 'you carry all this load in your heart?!' and i cant forget how much she scolded me for concentrating on friendship that much instead of my studies as i was a candidate by then. All in all, my point is not at how my mother scolded me or what happened after that. Many years later now, i look back at that situation and wish that the only betrayal that could ever exist was like that one whereby an innocent thirteen year old is filled with bitterness because her bestfriend replaced her.

As someone once said, 'every man faces seven enemies in his lifetime; sickness, hunger, betrayal, envy, greed, old age and finally death.
As i grew up, i realized how naive i was and that the world is actually like a battle field. so many wolves ready to attack you just the moment you trip. The saddest thing about betrayal though is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from the people you loved the most.

As John Le Carre said 'love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.' No one could ever dispute this fact that betrayal only happens when you love, because you trusted in the first place. Of course you wouldnt trust your enemy right? therefore, betrayal never happens with your enemies, it only happens with your loved ones.

We live in a world where you can't really trust anyone completely. It takes years to build trust and yet, just a few seconds to break it. We live in a world whereby you can't even trust to leave your wife alone for some few hours, in the fear that another man, probably could be even your neighbour, takes over your place just the moment you leave.

Betrayal has lead to so much pain. They say time heals all wounds but they forget that the scar will forever be there. People may forgive but will never forget the deep pain they felt and ofcourse, nothing will ever be the same again.

Sometimes, a mother betrays her child. One would wonder how? but haven't we seen all those many children appearing on our televisions, with deep cuts, burns, mutilated body parts just because of a small mistake they did? Yes, she betrayed her child. He trusted her, he knew she would never want any harm for him, he knew she would protect her and what did she do instead? she was the one holding the knife, the one holding the flame ready to burn, the one holding a panga ready to chop...the one who put the poison in his food. Yes, that is betrayal. When a father rapes his own daughter and maybe, she even gets pregnant and the girl lives the rest of her life being haunted. Life will never be the same again for her.

Betrayal is when we all put our trust and hope in that leader. As we die with hunger and thirst, we still had the energy to stand up and have faith that change will come with this leader. It is that kind of hope that never dies and we all vote for him, thinking we would never be hungry and thirsty again. But alas! greed is all he ever had.

Betrayal is when you love someone so deeply and just suddenly, they shatter all your dreams into small irreplacable pieces of glass. Even picking up the pieces will cut you once again so you let them right there with the undying hope that they would realize what damage they caused and maybe...just maybe come back.

Betrayal doesnt only break your heart, but also darkens your soul. You will never forget the pain and many have changed due to that kind of pain.

Trust is like a mirror, once broken, you may try to repair it but no matter what you will always still see the cracks. So be very careful on whom you trust and value the people who trust you and keep up to their expectations. Don't disappoint them for giving you the most valuable thing they can ever offer; TRUST!
You are not a fool that you trusted, that you loved, that you had faith...they are the fools for lying to someone who trusted them. So forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you!

NOTHING PLEASES THE WORLD ANYWAY

                                      NOTHING PLEASES THE WORLD ANYWAY

Photo Courtesy: Salem_beliegraphy

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Truly, human beings are the most complex of creatures and each one of us has a different personality from the other. In this life whatever you are, however you are, there must be some people somewhere who will hate you, disagree with you or simply not appreciate you for what you are. As Dita Vee said, ‘You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.’

When you work hard, you are too serious. When you don’t, you are a joker. When you eat, you are greedy. When you don’t, you are a freak. When you read, you are a nerd. When you don’t, you are stupid. You let someone into your life, you are too easy. When you don’t, you’re up too tight. When you tell a secret, you are an attention seeker, when you don’t you are still an attention seeker. You wear make up, you’re a slag. When you don’t, you are old fashioned. When you sleep around, you are a slut. When you don’t, you are frigid. When you cry, you are a cry baby, when you don’t, you are cold hearted. When you wear provokingly, you are an attention seeker. When you wear decent, you are a pretender. When there is war, the world condemns it. When there is peace, the leaders destroy it.

The list could go on and on without ending but all in all, we may as well have to realize that every action we take should have a purpose that to us, is good…the rest of the world doesn’t really matter. Just as people like Hitler have so many haters in the world, there are some people who still adore what the man was. Just the same way, maybe someone somewhere, doesn’t really like what Nelson Mandela stood up for. But that is just life. When you are bad, you are too bad. When you are good, you are way too good to be true. When people don’t know what is happening in your life, they speculate. When you suddenly start becoming rich, they suspect you are either involved with illuminati or you are a corrupt individual. They will always suspect you for something. When they think they know about you, they fabricate. All kind of rumours will spread about you. If it is about that new Mercedes that you bought, stories will go round on what you had to do to get it. Maybe steal some money, maybe oppress someone, and maybe lend from someone etcetera. And when they really know about you, how much you worked to get where you are they will hate you.

When you are sweet, they think you are foolish. They will take advantage of you and step on you like the door mat. When you are firm and strong, they say you are heartless. Even being pretty becomes a crime. They’ll hate you for being pretty. And yet still, they will also hate you when you are not pretty. You barely have any friends at all, why; because you are way too ugly for their company. People will hate you for what you lack. You lack intellect? You lack wealth? You lack good looks? You are not of my standard. And yet still, when you have got everything that everyone wishes for, they’ll still hate you; for having what they don’t.

People who speak out their minds usually have the most haters because they don’t try to fit in with everybody else. The bad news is you can never fit in with everyone. That’s just impossible. The good news is the great never do. So stop the struggle of trying to make people like you. Fact is you can’t please the world. Nothing does anyway.

However much you try, there will always be people who don’t like you; the way you look, the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you speak out your mind, the way you mingle with them, the things you believe in, your intellect, the things you read and listen to. In the end of the day, it is up to you whether you will let people ruin your day and control your actions towards them or whether you will stand up for yourself and be whatever you want to be without fearing or caring what people will really think about you. Do what you think is right to you, do good to your ability and never think twice about doing it more and more. You are not in this world to please anyone apart from God. There will always be people who won’t appreciate your nature, your struggles, dreams and ambitions but for sure, there won’t miss a person who will. So just be a nice person and true to yourself. That's what really matters.

SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT

SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT

Photo Courtesy: newpostwallpapers.com

Dear brother

Remember what you did last night?? Remember??? Well someone does remember. Allah does remember. Allah does remember how you picked up that girl from her house. How you took her for dinner. How you made her smile and laugh. How you took her to a lodge and spent the night with her. Allah knows how much you enjoyed. He knows how much joy you had. He also knows that that girl is not legally yours. He also knows that that girl has a father who has trust on her. He knows that that girl has a brother who loves her. He knows that that girl has a mother that would die for her. He knows that you are ruining the chance of her parents going to jannah. He knows that you are ruining the chance of her father owning a palace in jannah. He knows you are ruining the dignity she holds for her family. He knows...He knows what you did last night...

Hey pretty girl

I bet you are so head over heals about this guy yea? Last night was awesome right? You will never forget how he held you how he kissed you how much fun you had am I right? You've been daydreaming the entire day. You want a repeat of the night. You were looking so hot last night in that red exposing dress...and the makeup? Oh! Just looked spectacular!! You think he loves you yea? You think he will be there for you forever yea? He even calls you my wife! How interesting. Well bad news is someone knows what you did last night. Yes Allah knows. He watched every step you took from when he picked you up. He knows...He knows..

You both don't care one lil bit that He knows right. You are still too young to worry about God yea? 'You Only Live Once' yea??? You still believe that you are too young to die??

Well...I hope the time you break up you remember this particular post. You can live as you want but this just a reminder that someone is Watching. And that one person is none other than GOD! If you have even the slightest bit of imaan left then please repent. Its never too late for Allah's mercy. Don'

t be shaytan's slave. Regret your actions sincerely, cry out for Allah's forgiveness and if you are sincere enough Then for sure He will give you another chance...

THE DARK LIFE

THE DARK LIFE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: commonsensemedia.org

The over-flowing rays of the sun overwhelm my face, a beautiful feeling it is. A feeling that makes me awaken from my hilarious dream; I can see the beautiful, colourful birds scatter in the bright sunlight, children are busily playing as their voices ring in the bewilderment, laughing and running after each other. In the farthest corner, is a small girl hunching with her hands on the tiny pretty face, facing the wall. She looks lost, in agony that is sweeping her away with the fast moving wind. Another girl appears, a huge and well looking girl, just mercilessly, throws a stone to the other. The small girl hunching, stands up, waving her tiny hands in the air, puppeting them and crying out in her timid voice,

“Who is that?” 

The huge girl laughs loudly, throws another stone and elegantly walks away.  Suddenly, everything becomes dark. The rays of the blooming sun disappears and the children's’ laughter fades away. It becomes so dark and the once ever swaying trees now become like skeleton structures all around the small girl. She starts crying loudly, confused, terrified and agitated- all at once.

The trees are whispering loudly, in a grotesque manner, ‘welcome to reality!’ and yes I turn back to reality. The reality of being in dark always, then I see the familiar face of the timid girl again. This is me, I think to myself.  This has always been my life; a life without even a glowing splint in the darkness of misery and stigma. A life of loneliness. A dark never ending life, the life of a blind girl.

A LETTER TO MY BOSS.

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

                                           A LETTER TO MY BOSS.

Photo Courtesy: Unknown

Dear Boss,

I write this letter with deep pain in my heart. Every morning I come into the office and I find my desk full with loads of work to do. Oh boss! Whenever I start writing your records, I wait and wait, hoping you’ll change your mind and reduce my work. But you’ve proved to be more hard hearted than I ever thought. I spend my night to morning hustling all alone on my desk.

My right-hand side partner says you give him very little work to do that he is actually complaining. He comes into the office from morning till evening with just one or two records to write. It’s not quite fair, is it? I know the biggest possibility is that you’ve even forgotten my existence.

Even though, I am entitled to be your keeper and your secretary and you are my boss, don’t forget that we all have another overall, Supreme Boss. Anything could be done to you too, boss.

With that, I hope you’ll do something about me and give my right –hand side partner more work to do. I also do hope you’ll take into consideration how tired I am. Thanking you in advance.

Your secretary and keeper (left-hand side)

Angel Atid (who writes your bad deeds).

I JUST WISH

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

I JUST WISH

Photo Courtesy: pinrest.com

TAP…TAP TAP TAP… can you hear those sounds? TAP TAP TAP TAP can you hear those fading footsteps? How comes? How comes, I only hear them?? The place is too cold, too dark, too narrow. I look around and I see no one. The walls beside me are of sand and a piece of wood is above me. I look around once more in bewilderment. Where am i?? I try to call out my mother’s name, my father’s, my best friend’s name but my throat is totally dry. What’s happening? Two strange creatures appear-none I’ve ever seen. Can you see them? I’m petrified and I try to run away but I can’t move. There’s no space at all. The creatures stare at me, glaring hard at me. They make me sit upright.

“What did you say about this man Muhammad?” they suddenly ask me with voices I’ve never heard.

“I don’t know. I used to say what the people used to say about him.” I answer, but that’s not what I want to say. I want to say, I know Muhammad(PBUH) and I only said good about him-I even followed him, but my mouth says the exact opposite words.

“You claimed to be a Muslim, you vowed into Islam but neither did you pray nor did you fast nor did you respect nor did you obey…” the two creatures say.

They hit me with a metal hammer and my mouth screams out a loud bawl. Can you hear it? I think the animals do, for I hear the dogs bark and the donkeys braying. Can you hear them?

The place suddenly comes close together, tightening me…aaaah! My ribs…and now I realize something that stupefies me. I am in my grave!! Oh no! my mother is still mad at me and…all of yesterdays prayers I didn’t pray. Oh my Lord! Those girls I disrespected…and the phone that I stole…and my teacher, Lord please have mercy on me, I insulted him.

I cry in agony as the place grows darker and much much more narrow.

The two creatures appear once more again and I’m exposed to a huge screen. I see a large raging inferno and they say to me, “that will then be your home.”

I cry in pain, horror and shock. I wish that day never comes…I wish…I wish I had one more day on earth. I wish…I JUST WISH…

Photo courtesy: rebloggy.com

Note: Pray before you are prayed for, give before you have nothing to give, obey before everyone disobeys you, respect before your respect is stained and help before anyone offers you help. Care, care to the fullest, care to every word you say, each action you take, care for everything around you, everyone about you. Care for there is no other place you will ever care. This is the time to change for this could be your only opportunity. It’s never too late to repent a sin done…

THE VIEW FROM THE FRONT DESK

THE VIEW FROM THE FRONT DESK

BY: Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Taylor-Mason.co.uk

Every beginning of a day means new drama for the people dealing with customer care. As much as we all complain how awful customer care is in most offices in Kenya, there is always the other side of the story.

Talking of how miserable Kenyan customer care is, there are times you go to the same office often and you always find the one at the front desk grumpy and snapping at you whenever you ask a question especially at the airport and immigration offices. After you’ve had to stand for a long time in a long queue, the last thing one would want is to have an encounter with a too serious, frowning face that can’t even force a fake smile for you. Some purposely make you wait and wait and wait for hours as they take their sweet time doing the services for you. It can actually ruin your entire day’s mood by how they talk to you and even when you try to be friendly, all you will get is an ungrateful glare. All this, chances are, maybe they just didn’t have a good start or they missed breakfast or rather, the boss had the wrong start with them but then, in the end of the day, as a front desk clerk, your sole aim is to attract customers to make them come again tomorrow not to chase them away.

When you work as a customer attendant in an office where you have to deal with different people everyday, you might as well end up having tough headaches, migraines or even depression. Every person has a different character and ironically speaking, the person would expect the one behind the desk to talk in the same way as they do. One needs to be very patient especially when arguments get to the boiling points and you can’t take it anymore.

Out of the curiosity of capturing the other side of the story, my friend who works in one of the Samsung offices at the front desk made me stay around for almost one and half an hour just to see how the conversations go like in their office. Every person who came by came with a different tone; the friendly ones, the very impatient ones, the ones who must create a scene, the ones who would ask gently, the ones who would create so much tension even to the boss himself, the ones who always had something to whine about repeating the same things again and again, the ones who would loudly insult your products and services and how bogus you all are, and by the time I was leaving the office I just had to ask my friend ‘and how do you survive this everyday?!’ I bet they carry paracetamols and hedexs in their wallets and eat them like sweets daily.

I’ve ever seen groups of ladies go to boutiques or stalls selling jewellery or watches and they would keenly ask the seller to remove the stuff so that they may see them clearly. They would wear them and each would ensure they have a taste of the bracelet or watch on their hands. At this you can imagine maybe it is a group of five to six young girls, clearly coming to just have fun. They would make the seller remove almost all what is on the shelves and by the end of it all, they would not buy one single thing. Obviously, anyone would be pissed by such tendencies and it is always the next customer who walks in that pays the price of the attendants being angry and grumpy.

Customers are mostly drawn to the offices that have a lounge room, where one will be offered tea or coffee and sometimes even biscuits to go along with the drink but then, this can only happens in well established companies which apparently, know very well how to win their customers.

As much as you, as the attendant, may be having a bad day, your emotions shouldn’t be reflected in how you treat your customers. Many people end up not buying things or even buying unnecessary things just due to how friendly, gently they are handled or the vice versa. Patience should be a main characteristic amongst the attendants at the front desks but still, even we as customers need to be considerate on how we make our demands. Just as we are in a hurry to get proper quality attention, they also need a peace of mind from all the tension we create for them!