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| Photo Courtesy: Unknown |
It's a breezy yet sunny afternoon. I'm just staring out of the window at the beautiful scenario right in front of me. Lol just kidding. There's a large pond of water; that's what am seeing. Not as beautiful as such :D It's been raining. And just with the droplets falling to the ground, they keep me thinking. I'm one year older today. Alhamdulilah. And as I think of how much blessed I am, I think of you. I think of you as the best gift that I could ever get on a day like this. I think of how much I am missing you even before laying my sight on you. I think of how you are the one thing that makes me await the future. I think. I think quite alot. Will I live that long? Will I live to have you; the love of my life in my arms? Will I? Will I will I will I?? And all the while as all these thoughts cloud my mind, am still staring into the space. Having lived to 21, I've learnt quite something about life. I have learnt that true love will always be filial love. That same kind that I want to have with you. I want us to have the best kind of mother to son relationship. I want us to be legendary. I want you to be my hero. I want us to be bestfriends. Maybe I am expecting so much from the virtual you and maybe I will live to be disappointed; but all I can promise you is that I will teach you my high perception of pure love, which all starts with family. YES. Family. And you and I will be the best kind of family. Amin to that :)
My dear son, they say I am going to be a strict mother. But deeep deep deep down my heart I know, I am really going to be a strict mother :D I won't even bother sugarcoat that. Yes. I will be hard on you. At least it will seem so but that is just because I want you not to act like a boy all your life, nor do I want you to be just a man. I want you to be a gentleman. The kind of man who speaks not too loud nor in whispers. The kind of man who walks not in arrogance nor lazily. The kind of man whose face beams due to his kindness. The kind of man who knows how to respect a lady and never play around with her dignity. That kind of a man that will be a once in a lifetime kind. I want to be proud of you. Take note: I am not asking for perfection but I am asking for quality behaviour and standards. I want a man of principles. A son that is bold yet humble. The kind who is still the best even with all your imperfections. I don't know who your dad will be, but I pray that you grow better than him. That you perfect both of my and his imperfections. I want you to learn from his and my mistakes. I want you to be our better version.
My greatest wish is to hear your voice reciting the memorised qur'an lull me to sleep. I want you to be the kind of man that when you leave a place, they miss you immediately. I want you to have that kind of pure heart. A heart that knows no hatred nor lust. A heart that leads others to prayer and to do good. A heart that is a leader by heart. A heart that only seeks what God wants.
I daydream alot about you and how it is going to be when you finally come to being. I dream of that kind of son that I will raise with my own hands, with my own very high principles, with my own diplomatic ways. I don't even know whether you'll ever get to see this but I'll still dream. I'll still dream of that son of mine that was going to give me love like no one else ever did or will. I'll still dream even when everyone doubts me. I'll dream for as long as it is valid to dream.
Your prospective mother (in shaa Allah)
With lots of Love.
