I AM THE CHILD OF THE WORLD

I AM THE CHILD OF THE WORLD

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo courtesy: Unknown

Photo courtesy: Unknown

I am the child of the world

born with universal faith and hope

I am the child of Adam and Eve

doesn’t matter if my dad is Abdullah, Salman or Steve

I am the child of Syria

Today was a very sad day at school. It was the burial of my favourite teacher Miss fidya and the compound was covered with people from the media. I remember looking at her with so much admiration, as she talked with so much inspiration. Her smile glowed in the daylight like the moon in the darkest of nights.

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

'I want to be like you; a teacher, a great leader'

She would then smile and pinch at my tiny nose. oh...this is surely more than a loss. The story went round between cries and low whispers. Of how her house was bombed and shattered to pieces. She died alongside her husband, daughters and nieces. The other teachers were slowly weeping too; not just for Miss Fidya but for all the teachers and students our school had lost too. And now I have changed my mind. I don't want to be a teacher anymore. I don't want to die like miss Fidya or the others. I don't want to be a teacher anymore because I am scared to be one.

I am the child of Palestine

My favourite day is eid day because that is the day I get to play with fireworks together with my friends. We all wear good clothes and just after the prayers we go round with my friends buying all colourful fireworks for the night. We go to the park and swing and play the whole day. I love eid. It is a lovely day because I get to eat very tasty foods and snacks from relatives and neighbours. When the night comes, we gather with many other boys and light the fireworks. I love the fireworks; they give me the thrill and really excites me. But now eid is no longer eid. We no longer have eid in our neighbourhood. All we have is long scary days filled with the dust of bombs and explosives. Houses are broken down and we can no longer play outside. Fireworks frighten me nowadays. They remind me of the explosions I hear everyday. I don't like fireworks anymore; they remind me of our grief, sadness and doom. They remind me that we can never light up the sky with beautiful colours and patterns anymore and instead we have huge infernos lighting up our skies. They remind me that we can never have eid anymore...

I am the child of Yemen

The child who keeps dreaming of honey and heaven. I have a neighbour who has a bakery just across my home. Every evening after school I go to the bakery and watch him make delicious cookies, bread and donuts. I enjoy seeing him put cream in a beautiful way on the cakes and he makes sure to put some on my face. Whenever I would ask him why he would say, 'you are my birthday girl.'

'But it is not my birthday.'

'You are special and birthdays are special and cakes are special so you are my birthday girl.'

I would laugh loudly with amusement and I would ask him the question everyday just to hear him call me ''My birthday girl". Then hunger striked our city just like the war brought down our city. The baker still made his delicious bread in silence and grief could be seen on his face. Everyone was hungry and he had to lower the prices so to help others. But soon afterwards, people and children came in multitides crying of their broken homes and hunger; he would give them bread for free. Soon there was no flour, sugar or oil to do anything. Hunger was slowly creeping to his door too. He was sad but I still went to him every evening; not to bake or make bread anymore but to sit with him outside his bakery where he sat with his radio listening closely.  I would watch him in silence and wonder.

'Why do you sit here amo?'

'I am waiting to hear for the day that I can get my supplies of flour, sugar and oil again.'

'But why not listen at home?'

'Because closing down my bakery would mean I have given up hope. I don't want to give

 up hope. I have faith in Allah.'

That was enough to convince me, and we would sit in silence listening to what the radio had to announce. The baker no longer called me 'my birthday girl' coz he no longer had cream to put on my face nor a cake to offer. ..but I understood him and still wanted to sit by him. Soon, the war got worse,  I couldn't go to school nor could my mum allow me to even go to the baker again. It was too dangerous. It made me so sad; how would i learn how to bake anymore? I would roam around the house aimlessly; waiting for the worst like everyone else. As for the baker, I just watched him through our window as he sat outside his empty bakery listening to his radio. He still won't give up. He still had faith...

I am the child of Iraq, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Kenya. I am the child of numerous other countries too. I am the child of the universe and the world. I am the child whose dreams are broken in the name of war and terror. I am the child who is deprived from happiness and peace. I am the child who wants to dream yet my soul is held captive in the nightmares of terror. I am the little bird wanting to fly, please don't break my feeble wings. I am the child of not just a particular country, I am the child of every parent; the daughter of every mother and the son of every father. I am your child, please don't let me die. I am the child speaking for all the children of the world, please let me grow. I am the child of the world.

I WANNA BE A BREAKER

                                                  I WANNA BE A BREAKER

Photo courtesy: salem_beliegraphy

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Dreams crashing down
like the stars falling down
my thoughts make me drown
is it just my eyes
or is the grass also turning brown?
My heart makes me frown
I wanna be a breaker
not the kind that breaks hearts in a flicker
but the one who takes a break from the world.
Wings broken, with nothing to hold
alas, my heart will forever scold
of the soul that's grown so cold
but hey, comes the inner whisper
an inner calling, an inner fixer
You can be a breaker
not the kind that destroys
Oh no..not even the kind that betrays
but the one that disappears
The one who deals with his fears.
Tears flowing
Under the moon, so glowing
is it just my soul
Even in daylight, that falls?
Oh yes I wanna be a breaker
not the kind that escapes
his challenges, his miseries
but the kind that closes on the world
to filter, to absorb.
I don't wanna be a record-breaker
oh no...not even the one to initiate an ice breaker
I wanna take a break
a break from the screams of the universe
I wanna drown into the silence
oh yes I crave for that kind of presence
of nothing but my soul's stillness
I wanna be immersed in the tranquility
of peace and spirituality
don't you get it?
I just wanna be a breaker
the kind that takes a break from the world.

SOCIAL MEDIA; UNVEILING OUR SHYNESS

SOCIAL MEDIA;UNVEILING OUR SHYNESS

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: dazeinfo.com

You probably have heard of the old times or watched from the television shows or movies of the morals of the previous generations. Many of us may sit down and criticize those tough moral measures that were kept on our parents or grand parents or even great grand parents. We get amused at how parents those times were and laugh sarcastically, calling them 'old fashioned'. Irony is, we are the ones to be pitied. We the current generation, the children of 21st Century, the children of the internet; we are the ones to be mocked and laughed at.

Though the internet and development of technology has brought to positive benefits in our lives, we fail to see how the social media has unveiled all our shyness and modesty in the name of freedom and choice. I mean, look at the old folks and listen to their love stories. How lovers had to meet in forests and hideouts, how the tale of their love would be top most secret, how touching a lady was such a big deal that one would be beaten up and stoned by the entire neighbourhood by the mere rumour that the boy is stalking a certain girl. Listen to the struggle a man had to go through before ever getting a girl or being accepted to marry him. Listen to how the girl in love would hide and bury all her emotions and never conceal to anyone that she met her lover today. Maybe that's why the old folks know the meaning of true love and how to respect a woman, that's because they know the struggle they had to go through with the girl's parents before finally making her his better half. That's because, they learnt it the hard way. Listen to how a girl would skillfully hide that she went out with friends without permission from her father; how she would be scared to death on what would happen to her if her father found out she went for a picnic with friends. A young boy smoking weed or hanging out with wrong friends would trick his parents for years giving them the idea he is being a responsible boy. I am for sure not supporting pretence but this just shows how as much as people were doing the wrong things, they were ashamed to tell it to  their parents or to let the society see their misdoings openly.

So you see a girl coming out from home in her long dress looking very decent and simple and decides to stop over a friend's place to change into tiny skimpy dress and for some makeup. This was ofcourse to remain top secret. Then lets have a look at how social media has brainwashed our minds. We were made to believe that we can be whatever we want to be, we can live as freely as we want and in fact, we can put a stop to these old folks interfering with our lives. That we shouldn't be ashamed of anything. We were fed with images of singers, dancers and lovers and we were made to believe it's totally OK to be half naked, to show every fine detail of our bodies, we were made to believe that love is random and intimacy before marriage is totally OK, I mean, we all have feelings right? It's your utmost freedom whether or how you want to deal with those feelings. We are made not to care how painful it would be for our parents to know what we are doing, we are fed with the idea that we are adults and no one should control our actions. So now all we have in our social media is of all kinds of girls showing off their bossoms and bottoms, their hips and hair clips.  We have the boys talking of their nights in gangs smoking shisha and weed and literally believing they are stars. And we have the lovers talking openly of how they spent their days and nights together. So where is our modesty here? Is there any shyness left? So who is to blame here? Whom are we going to blame that women are no longer respected and that the women no longer respect their spouses? Whom will we blame when our daughters tell us they are pregnant and our boys, HIV positive?

The social media has enslaved us. It has made us grow with ridiculous opinions and dreams. It has made us cheap. I am quite sure that atleast 50% of the social media users or even more would have a  totally different character had they lived without social media. Many regard it as an eye opener to reality but it has not only opened our eyes, it blinded us thereafter. It has made us hypocrites of our own souls, it has drained all the moral teaching we ever had, while feeding us with stories of low life people who are made to be worlds' stars. We are made to envy the bodies of actresses and models, we are made to be thrilled by their kind of life which is made up of only three things; Wealth and fame while they are keen to not mention their third characteristic of their private lives and that is depression. So girls go crazy over singers and take half naked pictures like them and imitate their hairstyles and fashion. The boys on the other hand fancy the  nights out surrounded by women with smoke everywhere and ofcourse this scenario is so much beautified that our poor boys think of it like paradise.

If i may guess, approximately 70% of social media users would not be willing to show their parents their social media accounts. That's because, many youth have so much that parents have totally no idea about. A poor mother somewhere thinks her daughter is a virgin yet she's totally not. Another thinks that her daughter is very decent and is very proud to say that to the neighbour, and the neighbour just laughs sarcastically at this poor woman because the whole world knows her daughter is not a saint as she thinks. So we let the whole world know us; what we wear, whom we love, where we go, which part of my face  I have a pimple and where I got a dimple, the whole world knows that I spent the night at a boy's house while my dear parents think their 'very good daughter' is at a friend's place studying. The whole world knows; except the dearest people in our lives whom we keep deceiving. And we are so proud of that that we count ourselves as superstars.

Nonetheless, there are parents who have also been swept off by social media and totally don't mind this so called 'freedom' on their children. Parents have stopped setting limits and showing their children, 'this is the red line. Do not cross it.' So how can we blame the youth completely? How can you blame a girl for posting her half naked picture while her mother was there while she was taking the snap and totally said nothing? How can we blame the boy for sleeping around with different women yet his parents very well know he didn't spend the night home and wasn't asked what he is up to? And yes, if parents keep being irresponsible and acting just as immature as their children then we can't hope for a better future.

Whereas we; the current generations were expected to learn from our folks' mistakes and become more responsible than they were in their youth age, we have totally failed with that. We; the social media generation, are the rotten generation and I honestly don't think anyone really anticipates how the future generations would be as technology continues to grow. If you are still sane enough in this insane world then thank your Lord and pray that you die with your senses in place.

HOW SCARY CHANGE CAN BE

HOW SCARY CHANGE CAN BE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: azconsulting.co.za

Yes. Change is scary. It is just like how you wake up one morning and feel unusual. You rush to the mirror and find yourself with a bulging nose or maybe your face is full of wrinkles and your hair is totally grey like you just turned 90 years. But how did that happen? I was just 20 yesterday?! Or you wake up and find yourself to have changed gender. You were a girl last night but you just woke up with a shaggy stylish hair cut, with a beard and oh, a deep voice too! Of course you can imagine how frightening such a scenario is. Each and every day, change is swallowing us like slow poison yet we don't even realize it and that's exactly what makes it even more frightening.

In life we go through so many physical, emotional, environmental and even psychological changes. We change schools, we move to another neighborhood,  we change our diets, we change friends and so much more. Yet there is that dangerous change that's invisible. The kind of change we all dont notice until we are already in the next level. How many times have you heard someone say, 'I miss the old me?' I bet so many many times. But where were you when that old you was going through transition to the brand new you? It's because we don't really pay attention to what goes on in our inner selves and most of the times we realize what has happened after it's way too late.

It's scary that today I may be poor and humble while tomorrow I may be filthy rich yet arrogant. It's scary that maybe one day I will be smoking weed and wondering how I ever got to change that much. But nothing is impossible in this life. Don't relax with the confidence that I will never change. Don't be over confident that you are pious, that you are strong, that you are firm...all that can totally change in a split of a second. You may become the most arrogant and evil man on earth,  you may become so weak and broken that you may not recognize yourself anymore when you take a look at the mirror. What better example can there be than that of Satan who was the most religious in heaven; no one went down on prostration to God more than him, then what happened? He refused to prostrate to Adam due to arrogance and that same arrogance is what made him the most evil living creature in this life. If he who was one of the most beloved to God could change in moments so about us? What about us; we, the weak human beings?

There is a very thin line of change between all sorts of things. Be it between good and bad, between safety and war, between beauty and ugliness, between being whole and being physically challenged. Change will always live within us. You may see a very pretty woman who is famous for her glamour and beauty and just a few moments later you may hear that she got an accident and her face was destroyed beyond repair. Yes, its scary. It's scary that that once innocent and naive young girl may find herself in a man' s bed while that young boy who has been playing around with so many girls decides to quit it all and finally settle down. It's scary that the once down to earth man is now as proud as ever. It's scary that today I am alive and tomorrow I may be hit by a bus. Or that just as I leave home, that goodbye I say to mum may be the very last one. When I come back home...she might as well be gone forever. It's scary how much change is controlling us while we barely notice.

Not all change is bad. Sometimes its for the better and when it is for the better, then consistency is very important.  You have finally decided to abandon all your ugly past life and you want a brand new life, that's great! but learn how to keep up with that new life. Learn how to live without looking back at what is gone. Without missing your old ways, without wanting to go back there. Consistency. Learn to be consistent.

At whatever stage of life you may be at this time, have time  to check yourself. And maybe its for the better that you realize how scary change can be...and that's how you can learn to avoid those changes. Of course some changes are unavoidable like the bus that was meant to hit you or the job that you were to get fired from, but there is the change you can control; the behavioural change,  the emotional change, the inner change. Make sure they don't get out of control. Make sure they don't take you to another level that will always make you regret, 'how did this happen to me?!' Instead lets all pray for positive change; the kind of change we can always look back at and say proudly, 'I have really changed but I needed that change. I am now proud of myself than ever before.'

IN THE HUMILIATION OF NEED

Photo Courtesy : Salem_Beliegraphy

IN THE HUMILIATION OF NEED

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

The word 'need' might as well be one of the most despicable words existing in the dictionary. Well, maybe not literally but we can say it is, hypothetically. Anything that is related to the word is oftenly connected to misery, pain, agony or unhappiness. Whatever the need is; whether it is for food, water, money, shelter or anything else, there is no worse need than that of another human being. When need is attached to another human being, then there might as well be no other misery in this world than that.

Have you ever gone to ask for assistance from a person; it could be to ask for some money or help with an assignment or anything but once you get there, they will tell you to wait a moment. That moment may turn to minutes to hours and you are just seated there like a helpless sheep being extremely patient. Why? Because you are the one in need, so you have no option but endure all humiliation a person puts you through. After being kept there waiting for the whole day and maybe went without lunch, the person comes to you and asks you to come again the next day. That kind of game may go on for days before you finally get what you want. If you were hungry and it was food you were seeking, you might as well lack the appetite for the food anymore. By the end of it all, you are frustrated and humiliated beyond limits but you choose to swallow your pride and your personal dignity just because you are the one in need.

However much powerful one may be but once they are in need, arrogance often belongs to the satisfier of the need. It can be so annoying, agitating, irritating, frustrating how another human being can treat you like a puppet; "No, today I don't have time to listen to your issue. Come next week." And maybe at that moment, you've been going to the same person for the past two weeks. There has always been the option of just quitting and saying "I wont let another human being do this to me ever again" but being needy makes you weaker than you actually are. It makes you dependent; and being dependent is another miserable thing to live on.

Yet the most painful need is the need of affection from another. It is what messes up a person since they have attached all their happiness to this one person who may not even care for them as much as they do. It gives such kind of excruciating pain that may never heal. That kind of need; is like a basketball player that holds the ball in his/her little finger and swirls the ball with such expertize. The player is the satisfier of the need while you become the ball that is being controlled. You become as helpless as that ball and that player has power on what they want to do with you; whether to swirl and spin you in circles or drop you down or throw you from one hand to the other or simply kick you off.  It is like how a person can just come into your once peaceful life and mess around with your life like they are messing and playing with your hair. That kind of need is what has left most people dead of emotions; they are tired of need.

I always thought honesty should be made a must rule to be followed.  Lets keep it real and simple. You just be open and say, "hey buddy, so here's the thing. I would really want to help you but I am sorry I can't." Or "Honestly, I don't have sufficient time to teach you this. I think you'd better get someone else." Or rather, "hey girl, I don't want to play around with your feelings or to disrespect you...stop wasting your time on me." It is undeniably true that the truth often hurts, but I believe its better you hit on point straight away so that the person in need knows how to sort themselves out. It's not tasty to send a person up and down and in circles while you very well know you aint interested to help or offer what is expected of you. Believe me, all the blessings you were ever going to get by helping or assisting that needy person may all go to waste just because of the humiliation and suffering you made them go through before you finally gave them what they want. And if you are willing to help then do it with sincerity and without troubling the needy. Let's learn how to be more compassionate. Today it may be me, him, or her who is need, tomorrow may be your day, who knows? After all, every dog has its day.