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Since our childhood we've been told, taught and re-told about qadar (fate & destiny). We chorused it as one of the six pillars of Imaan (faith). We always say it proudly that we believe in what God has written for us. But how true is that? How much do you believe in the light at the end of the tunnel?
The true test of Faith is not when you win, not when things go as you wish, not when you are happy with your results. The true test is when you have worked extra hard yet still fail, when you have lost your beloved one, when your duas remain unanswered, when you don't get a husband or when you get a divorce. It is these moments that you should question yourself; how much do I believe in what Allah had written for me?
When going through a hard time, it is so difficult to think straight. There is so much despair, pain and frustration. But do you take time to question yourself that perhaps this is really the best for me? That perhaps something good is to come from this? That perhaps Allah is protecting me from something more harmful?
I once asked a friend who was competing in an international project whether he believes there could be any good in him losing. The competition was that the winner would win 10 million dollars to do a huge youth project (that they had proposed) in their home land. He was short-listed and that was when I asked 'do you believe there could be any good?' But of course anyone would think, what could be good in losing 10 million dollars?! I mean, all that money could do wonders. But have you ever thought of it this way?
You get 10 million dollars. The first thing anyone does is throw a party. It's time to celebrate. It's time to hang out with friends. It's time to party. It could also be the time for extravagance. The time for arrogance. The time to totally ignore your parents. The time to break all your principles. The time to do fasad. You think you can control money demons? Well, truth is, money always had a way of controlling man. This is why Allah S.W clearly stated it in the qur'an; that wealth is fitnah. Haven't we seen very humble people become so arrogant because of wealth? Haven't we seen how people change?
My friend never won. His project was so inspiring and amazing I was almost sure he would win yet he didn't. Then I said, "perhaps this wasn't kheir for you. Perhaps you would have changed and we wouldn't be able to recognize you again..."
You will be disappointed of course. Everyone does. But how quickly do you recover from it?
One of things I really push myself to do is see things beyond. Take a different view point. When someone you love is very ill; the kind of 'very ill' that there is barely any hope in them you cry to Allah to give them shifaa right? You give out sadaqa, you do all you can to make them feel well but then Allah still takes them away. You cry again; you cry your heart out. 'Why didn't Allah answer my prayers?' But have you ever thought of how much more this person would have suffered had they lived more? When my late aunt; mama two (for those who have read her story here) passed away her leg had been cut three times. She was diabetic. Sometimes I really feel nostalgic. I look at my nephew and wish she could be here to be an amazing grandma. But then I also imagine how life would have been for her in crutches. How spending her 50's in all that struggle and pain would be for her. Then I say alhamdulilah. Allah knew she deserved to rest. Allah knew this life would no longer serve her much good. So yes, even in death, perhaps there is so much mercy that we never look at.
Many times people pray istikhara to ask Allah for what is best. But the problem is, you ask Allah yet you already have an opinion. You already want to travel. You have made a choice already, then how will you see Allah's answer when you are already blinded by what you want? You pray to ask Allah if the job is kheir for you, when your prayer turns out negative, you still put your opinion that 'perhaps I haven't prayed well. Maybe I should just try.' And many of us have become victims of claiming 'I believe in qadar' yet we think we are so smart to take onto life by ourselves.
You pray istikhara to ask about a spouse, it turns out negative but because the person seems good, family members start giving you a list of reasons of why you should agree. Hallo? Where is your imaan in qadar? Where is your belief that what is meant to be will be even if all humans are against it? Where is your faith that what isn't meant to be will not happen even if the entire mankind gang up to support it? Trust me, when the right person comes, everything will work out miraculously. There will be no doubt. There will be no obstacles. There will only be Allah's mercy and everything will flow as it should be...same thing with jobs, children and everything else we want in life.
So here you are, you get a wonderful job offer, you send your CV, you are so excited to start your new job then suddenly...they decline. They just change their mind. And you are left there, shocked and perhaps angry. You get another job which pays much less than what you would have received before. You wonder why. You start questioning why. God why?! Then this same job that pays you less brings out the best of your abilities and you prosper such that you keep climbing up the ladder. At that time, you don't even remember to thank Allah that He brought you here and not there. You think it is your hard work. Yet it is Allah's great plan to bring you to greatness.
Perhaps the best thing for you to do is ask Allah for what is kheir for you. Ask for success that is kheir. A job that is kheir. A spouse that is kheir. To grant you children that are kheir. To grant you wealth that is kheir...don't rush to ask for things. Ask Allah from His own knowledge to grant you only what is best for you.
And when your duas are not answered you have to believe that this was simply not kheir for you. When you keep having miscarriages, when you are getting old with no husband, when you never get a well paying job...just think of all the bad possibilities that could have happened if you indeed got what you asked for. Think like a public relations manager. These people's jobs is to think of the worst of scenarios before thinking of how they will deal with the situation. So you too, think about it.
If I had children...perhaps they would grow up to be very cruel children that would cause me nothing but pain.
If I had a good job...perhaps I would be too busy to be with my family anymore.
If I had a spouse...perhaps I wouldn't be strong enough to deal with the challenges of marriage
And when people start questioning your calmness in dealing with your problems; when they ask you why you are not yet getting married, why you haven't conceived yet, why you haven't bought the house you wanted to...tell them; I am just going by the flow that which Allah has written for me. And what He has written for me is the best for me. So I will keep believing in His plan until the day He knows is the right time for my plan to come true.
Remember, all these obstacles you meet on your way to your destination are but reasons to drive you away to something better; something that Allah had written for you.
So whenever you are having a bad day, whenever things seem to be going haywire, whenever you feel in despair, ask yourself: how much do I believe in qadar?
How much do you believe in Allah's best and great plan for you??
Hold on right there
