THE CHARACTERS YOU FIND IN CAMPUS

If you want to be amused, amazed, shocked, perplexed, inspired, totally disgusted on how human beings are and can be, please go to the campus, university or even to a college. By the end of your first semester, your mind lies to you that you've seen it all, yet, you haven't. These characters are increasingly surprising; you just never know when to get your next bombshell. I am sure you will relate to some extent to the following characters. Perhaps the time for self reflection as well?

1. The Manipulator: You may or may not be friends with this person. You may never have talked despite being classmates. But since it is within a class of over a hundred students, it is all cool. Well it is cool, until this stranger-classmate suddenly recognizes you as a classmate and a dear friend and they casually decide to ask you for a 'loan'. The kind you will easily (or maybe not) fall into their act of 'something very urgent' and you decide to help this fellow with what can be a weeks' time pocket money. They will be very apologetic for asking, be very sweet and grateful for your help. They will promise to pay you back soon and even apologize for the delay until slowly and gradually they totally avoid you everywhere. In class, your phone calls, your text messages. You will remind him of your debt until you get frustrated and let it go. Then they prey on the next person. The manipulator may not necessarily be your classmate. Could be a hostel neighbour or a friend of a friend or a union colleague. They are everywhere.

2. The Manipulated: Is usually a peoples' person; a charming fellow with a large network. Or the total opposite; just a timid introvert somewhere who is known to have a problem saying no. Everyone recognizes you for your friendship and willingness to help. They fish your pockets in the name of friendship. They will always include you in outing plans, lunches, parties, shopping sprees because they expect you to be the one paying the bill. Sadly, your friends are not your friends. They are your pocket's friend. You go dry, they go missing.

3. Food Visitors: They know you like cooking or perhaps that your room always has something to bite. They may not even be your friends. Well, we all love visitors don't we? But sometimes we all know we are just being used. They invite themselves to your room' mostly during your cooking/eating hours. Always pretending to be apologetic for coming 'at the wrong time'. It is not the wrong time, it was the intended time. Where there is free food, there is free-ndship.

4. The complainer: The one always complaining that they lack something. It could be food, money or even hair oil. They hope for your sympathy so as you can keep sharing your stuff with them. It is all good, fine, let us share. But unfortunately, they only want you to share and not the vice versa.

5. The selfish: This one is always a pest on his/her mates while he/she saves what she has. They could be rich, working or having enough yet they still opt to store what they have for other luxuries which most of the times are unnecessary. They could survive an entire semester depending on others.

6. The prying one: Always too inquisitive about other peoples' lives. What you ate last night, where you slept last week, whom you went out with, where you buy your clothes. They enter your room, open your wardrobe without permission, log into your laptop etc...well, curiosity did kill the cat, don't they know?

7. Keeping up with the rich: They could be coming from struggling families, but they yearn to have a high lifestyle. They go beyond to achieve this which most of the times involves manipulating friends and partners. They associate themselves with rich groups of friends and hang out in places beyond their budget.

8. The focused one: This one knows where they are coming from. Is content with the life they lead and has goals. They are serious about their campus life because they have a vision and avoid too much interactions.

9. The religious one: They uphold high values of their religion and despite the crazy campus life, they strive to become better individuals and avoid the temptations.

10. The bookworm: Mostly found in the library or in some quiet corner, reading. It could be anything really; a course book, a novel book or even a cooking book. They feel safer in that world than the wildness around.

11.One leading a balanced life: They know when to study and when to have fun with friends. They have limits and spend their time wisely.

12. Spendthrift & spending influencer: They spend a lot and sometimes, unnecessarily. But they make sure they are not alone. They always invite other friends along and they encourage their friends persistently and with so much determination to spend extra too...or sometimes, to spend on them. 'If I am getting bankrupt, we should get bankrupt together'.

13. The hustlers: They multi-task, a lot! They study while working, sometimes more than one job. They are hard working and go out of their way to make ends meet and to achieve their goals. They are in several groups, clubs and unions and taking part in several extra-curriculum activities.

14. Study distractors: They don't study and they don't like studying so it always bothers them to see you studying. They will distract you in any way possible or mock how you are leading a boring life of books only. And sometimes, they could be ones that study yet they wouldn't want you to study more than them. They just try to bring you down in one way or another.

If there is anything I learnt from my University life is that, people are so different. This barely covers it all. There are other more positive characters and the vice versa too. You need to know whom you are allowing into your life. You need to be careful, to be keen and alert, to be humble, to be empathetic. You never know where someone is coming from or what troubles they have or how much sacrifice was made until they reached that place. Be considerate. Be kind. Have limits, because too much of anything is poisonous. This is the place you either change yourself for the better, build healthy bonds and personal growth or it is the place that you entirely lose yourself. Reflect.

BECOMING A PRODUCTIVE MUSLIMAH

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Remember the halamee conversation we had? Well okay, it was more of a virtual one between us but you remember it right? (Here: http://strokesofmypen.blogspot.co.ke/2017/02/being-halamee.html if you haven't seen this). The talk we had on the stereotypes of being an educated Muslimah, the challenges of being so different it bothers people, the yearning to belong somewhere, to fit in somewhere, the search of someone to look up to and the lack thereof. I have never been so sure that I am not alone than this moment. That there are so many Muslim ladies amongst us crumbling into confusion, young lively ladies lacking a sense of direction, women whose potential and desire to live has been crushed down with nowhere to air their deep concerns and attain guidance without being judged or admonished and sisters,passionate to attain the knowledge of the deen. We are many. We are many; trying to resist the fitnah, in dire need of friends to tell us, 'You are not alone. We will get through this together'... But perhaps we finally have a chance. An opportunity to meet sisters in the same journey as ourselves, to finally meet individuals who can be our role models, to interact and learn from those more knowledgeable than us, to promote unity and camaraderie among the Muslim sisters, to share our concerns and come up with solutions and most importantly and to learn how to become a productive Muslimah in our world today.

So we are having the 1st sisters' annual conference next week, 2nd December at Technical University of Mombasa. This is definitely going to be grand especially with the list of strong speakers involved (check the poster). As an alumni (ahem :p) I feel obliged to encourage all the sisters to attend this event. Because today's world is not going to favour us in any way more than it did yesterday. It is upon us to find ways to cope up with it without losing our identities as Muslimahs. Below is the theme and the objectives of the event, kindly avail yourself and share as much as possible.

THEME

“A productive Muslimah”

There is a profound statement by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah which says: ‘Women are one half of society which gives birth to the other half so it is as if they are the entire society.’

The theme discusses a productive Muslimah in terms of education, self-awareness, rights, becoming a role model, and the questions on employments and leadership as a Muslimah.

Objectives of the convention;

The sisters of today faces numerous challenges when it comes to speaking out and sharing issues and problems affecting them especially in normal conventions where there are participants of both genders present, hence this conventions is aimed to;

 Deliver programmes for sisters.

 Facilitate a closer interaction between speakers and attendees.

 Provide practical information on how sisters can implement and practice Islam according to their needs and

circumstances.

 Encourage sisters to actively seek knowledge of the deen.

 Present positive role models for sisters.

 Expand opportunities for sisters to aspire towards teaching and spreading Islamic dawah.

Further details on the event, contacts to buy tickets from are in the poster below:

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WE PLAN...AND ALLAH PLANS

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Sometimes people wrong us in such despicable ways. Sometimes we are the ones who wrong people. Sometimes we are oppressed, we are discriminated and mistreated. Sometimes we are the ones carrying the baggage of harming others. Sometimes we lose everything at once, sometimes it is so hard, it is difficult to move on. Sometimes is sometimes our always; each one of us desperately trying to understand why things go the way they do. How villains are still walking free while some really good souls are the ones to be diagnosed with cancer. How very evil, ungrateful, arrogant people could be the ones enjoying luxurious lives while a very hardworking person suddenly loses his hand which he desperately needs for his manual labour. It doesn't make sense! It never does! How is it a very poor child loses their mother who was the only family they knew while an already rich boy wins a car he doesn't even need...How is it that one prays for a child for ten years yet when they finally get one, the wife dies at delivery??...and sometimes we just want to ask God, 'Why though?'

Only God knows...
Sometimes we realize how lucky we are for not getting what we cried for and sometimes we never get the answers. And sometimes it is as it is. We can never know. Difficult things happen. We lose and sometimes we gain. Sometimes people hurt us, they betray us, they take our differences to another level it shouldn't ever reach, they forget all the good and tough situations you went through together. Sometimes they realize they wronged us and apologize and sometimes they die believing what they did was right. That is the human being. He is insan. He forgets and he errs.

But we should always believe that there is a bigger picture. That as much as we don't understand what is going on in our lives or why it is going the way it is, we should have undoubted faith that God knows what's best for us. And this is actual test of faith; believing when it is hardest to do so.

We have proof in the qur'an that there's always something more to our painful and even happy stories. There is always something extra that our eyes will not simply see and our minds won't easily fathom.

In Surat Kahf, in the story of Nabii Musa aleyhi salaam when he was told to search for a servant of Allah who had more knowledge than him, we get to learn something very valuable. During their journey; Nabii Musa and his teacher, Al Khidhr, three occasions happen which agitated Nabii Musa aleyhi Salam:

71. So they both proceeded, till, when they embarked the ship, he (Khidr) scuttled it. Musa (Moses) said: "Have you scuttled it in order to drown its people? Verily, you have committed a thing "Imra" (a Munkar - evil, bad, dreadful thing)."

72. He (Khidr) said: "Did I not tell you, that you would not be able to have patience with me?"

73. [Musa (Moses)] said: "Call me not to account for what I forgot, and be not hard upon me for my affair (with you)."

74. Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him. Musa (Moses) said: "Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing "Nukra" (a great Munkar - prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!"

75. (Khidr) said: "Did I not tell you that you can have no patience with me?"

76. [Musa (Moses)] said: "If I ask you anything after this, keep me not in your company, you have received an excuse from me."

77. Then they both proceeded, till, when they came to the people of a town, they asked them for food, but they refused to entertain them. Then they found therein a wall about to collapse and he (Khidr) set it up straight. [Musa (Moses)] said: If you had wished, surely, you could have taken wages for it!"

78. (Khidr) said: "This is the parting between me and you, I will tell you the interpretation of (those) things over which you were unable to hold patience.

79. "As for the ship, it belonged to Masakin (poor people) working in the sea. So I wished to make a defective damage in it, as there was a king after them who seized every ship by force.

80. "And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief.

81. "So we intended that their Lord should change him for them for one better in righteousness and near to mercy.

82. "And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the town; and there was under it a treasure belonging to them; and their father was a righteous man, and your Lord intended that they should attain their age of full strength and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own accord. That is the interpretation of those (things) over which you could not hold patience."

If we were to witness these same occasions ourselves, wouldn't we just react according to what is visible to the eye, as Nabii Musa did? If your boat was the one destroyed or your boy killed, how long would it take any of us to actually think that perhaps there is something greater, something bigger beyond what the mind comprehends? Were we the ones to be denied food, would we even want to smile at those people let alone build a random wall somewhere? If you just lost all your property in a fire and someone told you, 'Perhaps it is kheir' you would perhaps glare at them like they are the ones who set your property on fire. When misfortunes befall us we cry 'Why God?' yet we don't know how much good Allah is doing to us by that same terrible incident. We tend to only look at what is in front of us. But Allah is the Most Merciful and there are a lot of instances where we should thank Allah for despite how ugly the situation is. And indeed, this story is the perfect proof that we don't know everything. That however powerful, mighty, rich or knowledgeable we are, there are just some things we would never be able to explain or understand. That as much as we make plans, Allah has already written in detail how our lives are going to be. That we should always ask God to direct us to only what is kheir for us.

We may not have the answers but we need to trust Allah's wisdom and choices for us. May Allah grant us the patience and guide us always. Ameen.

We plan and Allah plans, and He is the Best of planners.

P.S Humble Reminder: Do read surat Kahf if you haven't. It still is Friday :)

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“Do the  people  think  that  they  will  be  left  to  say:  We  believe,   and they will not be tried?  But We have  certainly  tried those  before  them, and  Allah  will  surely  make  evident   those  who  are  truthful,   and  He will  surely  make  evident   the  liars.”  (Qur'an, Surah Al-Ankabut, 29: 2-3)