IN THE GRIP OF VIOLENCE

IN THE GRIP OF VIOLENCE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: desertskald.deviantart.com/

Every woman dreams of their mr right; the knight in the shining armor, the man who would take a bullet for them but many a times it is the same man who stands behind the gun to pull the trigger.

Domestic violence has been a common problem in centuries and never has a proper solution ever been brought up. Many women become victims of this kind of violence due to their illusionary assumptions that the man they love would never hurt them and in fact never bother to know the deeper hidden him before tying the knot.

Have you ever met a beautiful lady, with class and dignity, she is educated and money is never an issue to her but still you notice the red marks on her face and bruises on her hand which keeps you thinking; till when is she going to swallow all her pain? When is going to break free?

Majority of the women decide to stick to their abusive husband irregardless of his tormenting behaviours due to the deep love and loyalty with the statement 'for better for worse' imprinted in their heads. Others sacrifice their happiness and stay chained with the husband due to their young children who probably would never fathom why the parents divorced.

It is a sad and quite an irritating scenario when a man staggers into his home way past midnight; completely drunk while his family went to sleep with hungry, grumbling stomachs. To add salt to injury, he starts beating his wife, insulting her for no acceptable reason.

This is it beautiful lady! It is time to break free. It is time to love yourself more than him. It is time you made this sacrifice so that your children have a bright, peaceful future free from violence. It may be hard at first at start your own life but it is worthwhile. You deserve better so go for it!

PRETTY WOMAN

PRETTY WOMAN

By: Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: muslimahdiariesbyk.wordpress.com

A pretty woman I am,
I proudly boast to myself,
With my beautiful tattoo on my arm,
And my blond hair artificially fixed
I proudly walk on the streets.
My eyebrows are shaped
And my fabulous body is exposed.
The perfume on me is wafting all over
And all men’s eyes are on me.
Exactly what I want!
Everyone to admire this girl
To have everyone say hi to me,
And get several dates each week.
I don’t really understand myself,
Sometimes I claim to be a Muslim,
I get dressed up but with my hijab halfway
Oh! This is just a disturbance!
I decide to be a Christian,
I try to wear decently but I can’t,
I have to go to church with a micro mini.
Nothing of this fits me!
What makes me happy,
Is seeing myself in a tight jeans,
And a blouse to the belly button
With my fixed hair flying in the air,
And strong perfume smell coming from me.
But then I think well and hard,
I think none of this makes good sense,
All I get is a two day game with a guy,
And the next day I’m already dumped.
Worse of it all, I could myself in a fix,
Whereby a group of men could come and have me raped.
The tattoo and the fixed hair will send me to hell
Just like the shaped eyebrows and the perfume.
I think only my husband deserves to see my beauty,
For I can trust him without a say.
For everything that I’ve done,
I’ve always been the gossip of the town.
I don’t think that’s what a pretty woman deserves,
So the best thing is to be a reserved woman
because a pretty woman is, a reserved woman!

A LETTER TO THE WORLD

A LETTER TO THE WORLD

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: photobucket.com

I write this letter with deep pain in my heart that no doctor, no psychiatrist, no psychologist can cure. I am not the same person I was one year ago and never will I be ever again. I write this letter so that the whole world can know my story. So that the whole world can know the plain truth…the truth that I am no terrorist…to know that Islam has never encouraged terrorism…

I remember how I walked in the international airport of the foreign land. I was happy like never before. This was my opportunity to raise myself from scratch and I was going to help my mother get her treatment at last. When I just arrived, I took my mother to her room and let her rest before going to meet the ones who had requested my coming to this beautiful new land. The old men had big dreams and they wanted me to be the fulfiller of those dreams. I readily accepted, after all, that was what I came for….

We started a large project of building the biggest masjid, library and madrassa in that entire land. We had big dreams of educating the muslim children that never had the chance to know their religion well. We made big progress in few months and we had people of all sorts getting attracted to our library that had all sorts of books. I soon started teaching the youngsters in the madrassa and we grew very first. We had accomplished what we wanted. People were now flowing in and out of the library and we were requested to increase the opening hours. In few more months we had people converting to Islam…

I finally took my mother for the treatment of the blood cancer she had. I was pleased with myself for I had achieved what I always wanted. During my free time, I did what I loved most-taking pictures of the nature and architectural buildings for that was what I had studied in my home land. Everything went on well and after one complete year, we started having public peace conferences about Islam. We moved to different states of the continent and our name was heard all over…we were spiritually conquering the hearts of the people.

That one night, everything changed and my life was completely destroyed. I was seated with my mother having dinner in our house when the door bell rang. I stood to open the door and there, in front of me were more than five policemen. I stood still for a moment waiting for them to start talking.

“Is this Sheikh Ahmad’s residence?”One of them asked.

“Yes, how may I help you?” but before any one of them could answer, three of the police officers pushed me aside and broke in the house.

“What is happening here?” I quickly asked but there was no answer. The three policemen ransacked the house, breaking everything around.

“Ahmad, what do these people want from you?” my mum hurried to me, fear all over her face.

“You can’t do this. What have I done?” my voice rose up.

“Here’s a search warrant. May you shut up while we do our work!?” one of them snapped.

I stood there helplessly as they threw down all the furniture, books, everything they got hold of. Then one of them suddenly held the Quran and was about to throw it down when my mother, without thinking twice, gave him a hefty slap on the face. The policeman stood up, red with anger and pushed my old mother to the farthest end. Everything happened so fast and my mother was now lying down, very still.

I rushed to my mother and blood was oozing from her head.

“What have you done?! What have you done!?” I shouted loudly.

“Sir, we got them. Here they are,” another policeman said, coming from my room. I raised my eyes to see him holding the pictures of the buildings that I had taken.

The one, who seemed to be the head came to me and boldly said,

“You are under arrest. May you follow us to the station right now.”

“But what have I done?”I asked, panicking.

“You will know everything once we get there,” he said as he handcuffed me.

“But what about my mother? She’s still unconscious.”

“We’ll take care of her. Hey! Call the ambulance,” he said to another policeman. They then took me into their car and I was taken to the station. I was interrogated for hours-why had I taken those pictures from the beginning. It w ent on and on until I finally realized why I was being held. I was a suspect of terrorism. It went from being hours to days and I never was given the chance to rest. I was electrocuted, kept in the darkest of places, denied food and more and more. They were never going to let me go unless I said that I was guilty of having terroristic plans.

Then one day, one of the interrogators came and announced,

“I guess you were surviving until now for the sake of your mother. She is dead now. She died last night in the hospital. You can now speak up.”

The news came as a blow to me and I felt so shattered. Things didn’t get any better in the following months. After some terrible time, I overheard two police officers talking about my case.

“The man is so lucky. This is the fourth day since the people started the demonstrations for his release. I guess he won’t stay any longer. The people have refused to stop the demonstrations…” I didn’t hear the end of that conversation but soon enough, I was released by the court of law after finding me innocent.

I was once more a free man but that didn’t help me at all. My life was completely shattered. I was so weak, so much afraid and I could no longer be the same eloquent man. It is now one year later but I still couldn’t recover my old self and I don’t think I ever will.

So that’s why I am writing this letter to the world. So that they can realize that I never was a terrorist and never has my religion-Islam, ever encouraged any kind of violence. I hope my letter will make things clear- that Islam is a peaceful religion and will always be….

DEAR FUTURE SON (Guest post)

Dear Future Son,

By: anonymous

Photo Courtesy: nicholasmazzoli.com

When you were born i was overwhelmed with joy,consumed with happiness. Yet scared that this infirm and fragile creature was not ready for this monster of a world that i have become accustomed to.But when i took a slight peak and your tiny eyes struggled to view my huge form.I felt the whole world face the sun and shine brighter just for you.I knew then and now that the world would be a better place because of you.And my heart was invaded by feelings of pride,care,protection,hope and above all love.I may not have said it as much,but i have always and will always love you my son.And as i held you in my arms,my heart whispered promises to you.I will love you when the world would dare hate you,i will believe in you when everything and everyone would prove otherwise.Because you are amazing.I would tell you stories of my boyhood and echo you my mistakes and regrets that you may learn from them.You wouldn't have to impress me or compromise with me,be yourself,love yourself,because my love for you is guaranteed.I would have you live like you mean it,be candor,be happy always,because every time you smile the world gets a little better for me.I would have you live a pure life,pure in your love,pure in your hate,pure in your pain and pure in your heart.Face life with passion and fortitude,get excited and embrace the beauty of your dreams.Live my son.Live your full potential,be better than me,dare to stand

alone,because i would have it no other way.Uphold your religion,pray,because man is nothing without faith.be proud of your heritage,your culture,because you are it's successor.Never forget who you are,you are my son and there is great pride in that.I leave this world as an empty shell,with no plausible accounts.Be my legacy my son.

your mentor,your friend,your father

DEAR FUTURE DAUGHTER

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Dear Future Daughter

My best moment in life was when i first heard your little voice shriek when the nurse handed you to me. It was a magical moment and right then, I wanted to announce to the whole world that my princess is finally here; with me.

I want you to know that you are the most beautiful girl ever existed and never doubt that. I want you to know how precious you are and that there will never be another you in this world.

I want you to know that i am here just for you; when you are having nightmares and in fear then don't hesitate to come and sleep in my arms. When you are in pain and need someone to talk to then do know I am always here for you. I want you to be my bestfriend and you to make me yours.

Whenever you are in despair, you don't have to turn to strangers to talk it out. You dont have to vent out your anger and anguish on social websites, You dont have to cry in the washroom or drain your pillow with tears silently; come cry to me. When you finally become a lady, you don't have to sneak out to go out. Ask me and we can always hang out together. When you feel lonely then always remember that i am here for you. When you feel like the world is shutting down on you, then dont give up, hold my hand and we'll take up the rough path together and when you need your space, i'll still give it to you. When you do a mistake then don't lie to me; tell me and we can fix it together. When you have secrets, share them with me so i can also share mine with you.

My princess, You don't have to be lured into a corner by any guy, if he wants to meet you then let him meet me first because I am not just your mother but your bestfriend too. I don't want you to ever need a guy to tell you how beautiful you are, You are my princess so hold with your head held high; remember, you are the most beautiful thing on earth. I don't want you to ever cheapen your worth infront of any guy; do know that you are priceless and not just any random guy deserves you. Always remember that when true love finally comes to your life, you will know then. You will feel it. Because true love means respect before anything else. So seek your happiness and goals and your prince charming will appear at the right time in the name of your husband. I don't want you to ever need love nor do i want you to be a slave of love because i will shower you with enough love. I want you to walk with such dignity that with each footstep you take, the world pauses for a moment. Remember the true value of a woman is in her chastity, so hold onto the values I have taught you.

I want us to be legendary partners. I want us to walk at the beach and play together, build sand castles and run at the shore Iike there is no tomorrow. I want us to have shared hobbies that we'd do together. I want us to plan our weekends; go visit the homeless, go visit the sick, go visit the poor or maybe the orphans because i want you to appreciate the bounties in your life. I want us to stay late night telling stories such that you will never need your phone or a better friend. I want us to pray beside each other everyday. I want us to comb one another's

hair and play with it. I want us to paint. I want you to tell me how your school days are and i'll tell you how mine were. I want us to go window shopping, bake together, have girls night out and much more. I want us to kneel to God and thank God for all we'll go through. Do know that you are the best gift in my life and i waited for this gift for a whole lifetime so don't you ever doubt my love for you. xx :)

                                                                                                                          Love, Future Mama :*

           

THE BOY CHILD VS THE GIRL CHILD

THE BOY CHILD VS THE GIRL CHILD

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: dhgate.com

As much as the boy child is always counted as a great blessing for he is the heir of the family name, the girl child is usually given more attention. The girl child at a very tender age is given cookery toys and dolls to play with. She is psychologically being prepared to be a mother and a cook. She is taught about the kitchen before she even knows how to comb her hair. She is being prepared to be a wife. She is being prepared for marriage. The girl child is made to understand that whatever the case she will end up at her home.  With a degree or not, the end is still going to be the same.

While this little girl is playing with sufurias and frying pans, the boy child is given car toys and aeroplanes and guns. He is psychologically being taught that that is what makes up a good life. He grows up dreaming of owning cars and aeroplanes and to be a hero somewhere. He is given the priority to learn and gets the best education.

The girl child is taught that she is the symbol of dignity of the house. She is taught how to respect herself and people around her. She is strictly told to hold onto values and woe unto the girl who comes home with her stomach bulging out. She will be shunned away and the family would not want anything to do with her again. When a girl sneaks out she is beaten up and given punishments for destroying the name of the family. But what of the boy? Why is he tolerated when he comes past midnight? Why does no one bother to know who are his friends? Why isn't he taught how to be responsible as early as the girl child? Why doesn't no one know of his whereabouts and what he is doing out there? Why isn't he taught the value of family? Or even how to respect the woman?

When the girl is known not to be a virgin before marriage,  suitors turn away and neighbours will talk about it forever. But isnt it funny that the suitor who turned away has slept around with a number of women and probably has a child out of wedlock? Ironically, this boy will sit with his mum and he will insist on getting a virgin wife and they will talk ill of all the girls who ruined their dignity by playing around. He will talk of wanting a girl with well manners but what of himself? Does he even have respect for himself to demand it from others? He will ask for a wife that can cook but can he even fix the tap? So is it that all these rules are only applied on the girl child? Why isnt the boy taught how to responsible from a tender age? Why isnt he taught the important things as changing the lamp as the girl is taught how to cook? Why isn't he taught that he also reflects the dignity and respect of the family name? Why isn't he taught that the woman is not a play toy and deserves utmost respect? Why isn't he taught and trained how to be a good father and a good husband long before he is one? Why isn't he taught how to protect the women of the family or the value of true love?

Why is it that the boy child is forgiven when he brings home a child out of wedlock and the grandma takes care of the child with love while the girl is chased away from home for the same reason? Why is it that this same boy who has made several girls abort is the same one who beats his sister for getting pregnant? Why do we make it okay that a boy who finally decided to settle down deserves a good wife why can't a girl with a dark past deserve a good husband for she too has decided to settle down? Why don't we teach the boy to grow as a gentleman as noble as we make the girl grow? Why do we make the girl’s mistakes so grave while the same when done with a boy then we just count it as a mistake and give lame excuses for it? Why ain't we as proud when a girl graduates with high dignitaries as much as we would be proud had it been the boy?

Maybe it's really high time we knew how to balance between the two. Maybe we should really make the boy understand what is expected from him as early as possible. Maybe we should appreciate more the girl who holds onto her dignity and chastity for her family's sake. Maybe we should be proud of the struggles of the girl as much as of the boy. Maybe we should also keep a keen eye on the whereabouts of the boy as of the girl. Maybe we should give both of them as much attention as they deserve. Maybe...just maybe we will then, be able to create a better society of high moral values and principles.

WHY YOU SHOULD MAINTAIN YOUR RAPPORT WITH YOUR GOD

WHY YOU SHOULD MAINTAIN YOUR RAPPORT WITH YOUR GOD

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Most of the times we have a parasitic relationship with God but that's just because we have an ego and we tend to forget that God doesn't need anything from us or any part of us. Many of us have heard the words 'keep God first' that they became a cliche' to us. We then started taking the words for granted. But just take a deeper look at these words. Sink in them and you will find true tranquility and truth in them. Maybe that's why all successful people keep repeating these words to us in their advice. Maybe they discovered the truth in these words that we haven't yet. Here is why you should maintain a good relationship with Him.

1. You need Him. He doesn’t.

However hard headed or arrogant or proud you are, you are nothing but a servant before Him. He has millions of creatures bowing down for Him and one less doesn't change one little bit of anything in this world.  But for me and you, we need Him whether you choose to go towards only when in need or always..need is permanent. When we get what we want for now, sooner or later we'll still need something else which no one else can grant us expect God.

2. He is in control. You are not.

If you were suddenly attacked by a gangster and he is holding his gun right in his hand you would tremble. You would cry. You would beg. You would ask for a chance to live. Why? Because he can easily end your life. He can decide to burn your house as well. He may decide to steal what you worked for all your life. Yet still he may decide to let go of you without harming you in any way. God can do all that only that He is no gangster. All your life is in His hands..but the other difference between Him and the gangster is that you don't see him but He sees you which makes the whole affair complex yet so simple. The gangster is in control of you at that moment but God is always in control of your life since you take your first breath to the last. However wealthy or healthy you may be then you are indebted to God for letting you have what you have.

3. He is permanent.  Everything else is not.

You may have the entire world's happiness, wealth, health or maybe a factory of chocolates but still in a blink you may wake up with totally NOTHING. Family may die, friends may betray you, wealth and health may depart you but God will always be there for you; in both good and bad times. Everything comes to an end only God doesn't.

4. He is flexible.

In all religions in the world, we believe in a God that has wrath and great anger on those who disobey Him. We are told of how we will be punished once we die and pay for our sins but yet still we are told of His great mercy alot lot more times more than his wrath. We are easily forgiven by making it up with small good deeds. We earn rewards for little compassion like that of helping an old man crossing the road. What more proof do we need than that of the man who killed 99 people and was told that he will never be forgiven and killed that person making it 100 and yet he was still forgiven.

5. Best of business deals are with Him.

So many philosophers talk of how giving is receiving. The more you give the more you see bounty flowing into your life. You give a coin and get ten more plus a generous bonus of eternal happiness and joy. You smile and you get multiple of smiles back so where would you ever get such unbelievably generous contracts anywhere?

If you had a boss as wealthy as God, as generous as God, as firm as God, as loving as God wouldn't you be addressing him with such respect never seen before? Wouldn't you always want to be associated with him? Wouldn't you be calling him always? Wouldn't you want to make a best friend out of him? Wouldn't you want to share with him both your sorrows and joy? Wouldn't you want to never annoy him and always be in the safe side with him? Wouldn't you want to speak very cautiously with him? If you had a boss who had written down all his plans on your work; when he will raise your salary, when he will give you a higher post, when he will demote you or when he will fire you, wouldn't you work extra hard to please him, wouldnt you sweet talk him to change his plan of demoting or firing you? Wouldn't you ensure a very good relationship with him so that he can raise you more and give you better opportunities? But there will never be such a boss because such great qualities can only be all found at once in God. Moreover, we all make plans each and every day but how many times do they eventually turn out impossible? That's because your boss has a supreme boss; God, who makes other plans for us while we create our own. So make sure you have a good rapport with Him. Make sure you are in His good books so that He can always remember you. Make sure you love Him as much He loves you.

So just for a moment kneel down and say a sincere prayer to God. Even if you alright. Even if you have everything at the moment. And even if you have so many troubles or too busy...just take this moment to sincerely thank God for what you had, what you have right now and whatever plans He has for your future, for His plans for you are always perfect. So talk to Him from the deepest part of your heart. Talk to Him and He will silently listen. Do that often; all successful people do.

ARE YOU MATURED? (MEASURE YOUR MATURITY)

ARE YOU MATURED?

MEASURE YOUR MATURITY

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: productfocus.com

I'm sure people would be wondering why I keep repeating the issue on maturity again and again but that is simply because we underestimate the importance of it in our lives. Maturity is the beginning of everything; positive thinking, living wisely and moderately, getting to our goals, having a focus, acquiring true happiness and much more. All our success in life depends on maturity.

According to the oxford dictionary,  maturity is the quality of thinking and behaving in a sensible, adult manner. While the antonym to this is immaturity or what others would consider as childishness. What most fail to understand is that 'immaturity' and 'childishness' may have almost or same meaning but they do have a difference that is not all that distinct. During my research on this I came across the most convincing definitions that can at least show the difference.

Childishness: is being childlike, liking things that would appeal to children, being so-called "young at heart". Most of the time, childishness is harmless.

Immaturity: is failure to mature and take the responsibilities of an adult, failure to behave like an adult, failure to control your emotions like an adult.

As much as these words could be similar or different, most of the times maturity, immaturity and childishness vary according to the context and the person's own perspectives. When one person attacks another in public especially in front of an important audience like in a meeting or conference and start a fight with another, that may be considered as immaturity. When the other person who has been attacked decides to stay calm and not fight back, that's what we'd call maturity. But to bring forth the difference

between immaturity and childishness can be quite tricky. For example, I may consider that a boy above twenty years who still wears conspicuously coloured clothes with funny hairstyles that can make you notice them at the furthest end of the road, as immaturity while some may consider this 'swag' as fashion. One may consider it childish when a married person still watches cartoon while someone else may consider that as mere fun.

You may meet a person at his job place. He may be so noisy and plays pranks at his mates and irritates them...they'd consider him to be childish but you may be surprised that that same person could be the best employee in the firm, he knows exactly what his responsibilities are and can act maturely when he sees fit. So its not strange at all to find a person who is considered childish yet they are mature enough.

As much as childishness is oftenly used in a disapproving manner it is still considered harmless or at least, less harmless than immaturity. The word 'childlike' is used in a more approving manner for example having a childlike imagination or fantasy.

Since I've always been over emotional about everything I've frequently been considered to be childish but its harmless! It doesnt make me immature or lack of responsibility.

Another example, when a student decides to go out for a party when they have an exam the next day that is immaturity while when a lady boss comes to work with a hello kitty top to work, that's childishness. Starting to get the difference now?

Emotional maturity refers to your ability to understand, and manage, your emotions. It enables you to create the life you desire. A life filled with happiness and fulfilment. You define success in your own terms, not society’s, and you strive to achieve it.

Emotional maturity allows you to take charge of your life. You have your own vision for your life and your own ambition for success. Focusing on realising your vision, you can create a happy, healthy life where you respect yourself and others. When you develop emotional maturity, life becomes a joy rather than a chore. Your happiness and fulfilment are in your hands. Emotional maturity doesn’t evolve overnight. It takes effort, practice and patience. If you can improve a little every day, you will soon be living a happier, more fulfilled life.

According to psychologists, these are signs of emotional maturity

Each person has a different level of emotional maturity. It is something which you can consistently work on and improve over time. You can use the following signs of emotional maturity to gauge your own level:

1. Flexibility

You are able to see each situation as unique and you can adapt your style accordingly.

 2. Responsibility

You take responsibility for your own life. You understand that your current circumstances are a result of the decisions you have taken up to now. When something goes wrong, you do not rush to blame others. You identify what you can do differently the next time and develop a plan to implement these changes.

 3. You understand that vision trumps knowledge

You know that you do not need to have all the answers. As long as you can identify the problem, you can visualise a solution and research the best way to implement that solution.

 4. Personal growth

Meeting the challenges of tomorrow requires learning and development today. You have a desire to learn and a thirst for knowledge. Learning and development activities form a key part of your schedule.

 5. You seek alternative views

Knowing that the way things are done can always be improved, you willingly seek out the opinions and views of others. You do not feel threatened when people disagree with you. If you feel that their way is better, you are happy to run with it.

 6. Non-judgemental

Variety makes the world a more beautiful place. Even when you disagree with people, you do not feel the need to criticise them. Instead, you respect their right to their beliefs.

 7. Resilience

There will always be things that go wrong. There will always be setbacks and major disappointments. While you may initially be a little upset, emotional maturity allows you to express your feelings, identify the actions you can take, and move on.

 8. A calm demeanour

It’s hard to be calm 100% of the time but you are able to remain calm the majority of the time.

 9. Realistic optimism

You are not deluded. You know that success requires effort and patience. You do, though, have an optimistic disposition whereby you believe you can cope with whatever life throws at you. You also believe that there are opportunities out there for you, so you seek them out.

 10. Approachability

You are usually easy to get along with and people feel comfortable approaching you. Building relationships is never contrived; it comes easy to you.

 11. Self-belief

You appreciate when others praise or compliment you. It feels good when they approve. However, you know that there will always be people who disapprove but you are confident in who you are and what you do. If you believe that a particular course of action is right for you, you will do it, whether they approve or not.

 12. Humour

You don’t take yourself too seriously. You are able to enjoy a good laugh with friends and colleagues, even when you are the butt of the joke.

Other qualities of a matured person as per psychologists are as follows.

1. A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments.

One key signal of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. Part of this means a student is able to keep commitments even when they are no longer new or novel. They can commit to continue doing what is right even when they don’t feel like it.

2. A mature person is unshaken by flattery or criticism.

As people mature, they sooner or later understand that nothing is as good as it seems and nothing is as bad as it seems. Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or sway them into a distorted view of themselves. They are secure in their identity.

3. A mature person possesses a spirit of humility.

Humility parallels maturity. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less. Mature people aren’t consumed with drawing attention to themselves. They see how others have contributed to their success and can even sincerely give honor to their Creator who gave them the talent. This is the opposite of arrogance.

4. A mature person’s decisions are based on character not feelings.

Mature people—students or adults—live by values. They have principles that guide their decisions. They are able to progress beyond merely reacting to life’s options, and be proactive as they live their life. Their character is master over their emotions.

5. A mature person expresses gratitude consistently.

Mature people see the big picture and realize how good they have it, compared to most of the world’s population.

6. A mature person knows how to prioritize others before themselves.

A wise man once said: A mature person is one whose agenda revolves around others, not self. Certainly this can go to an extreme and be unhealthy, but I believe a pathway out of childishness is getting past your own desires and beginning to live to meet the needs of others less fortunate.

7. A mature person seeks wisdom before acting.

Finally, a mature person is teachable. They don’t presume they have all the answers. The wiser they get the more they realize they need more wisdom. They’re not ashamed of seeking counsel from adults (teachers, parents, coaches) or from other sources. Only the wise seek wisdom.

I hope the insights by the different psychologists will help you develop into a better person; a matured leader of tomorrow.

MY SMALL CUBICLE

MY SMALL CUBICLE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_beliegraphy

My life has always been like a small cubicle office with different frequent visits from different people. My mum always saw me having new visitors at home or laughing on a phone call from someone new and she'd always ask 'who is it this time? A friend from school?' And my answer was mostly a no because I rarely had friends but I had a friend of my friend, the neighbour to my friend, the classmate of my friend, the cousin to my friend, my sister's friend etc etc

My mum came to barely remember any names or even faces because people quickly came into my small cubicle and as quickly, exited it. A name would be familiar for some days and just as sudden as the name appeared into my life, it faded away as soon as one had had their loved ones back, had new friends, had had enough of my entertainment..had stopped feeling lonely..had gotten enough strength to stand on their feet once again. And another would appear. So she'd ask 'where do you come up with new friends out of nowhere, just all of a sudden? '

'Destiny...' I'd mumble.

I got used to the idea that everything is temporary. I am temporary; I was meant to be temporary..and I'd always wondered when I'd meet my permanent people?

Nonetheless I've learnt to enjoy these short visits to my small cubicle; the little laughters, the little secrets, the little jokes, the thrilling stories, shared experiences..I had served my purpose in their lives by giving them what they needed and they had served in mine; by giving me the little joy that I'll always cherish. It's called compromise.