THE BOY CHILD VS THE GIRL CHILD
By Lubnah Abdulhalim
 |
| Photo Courtesy: dhgate.com |
As much as the boy child is always counted as a great blessing for he is the heir of the family name, the girl child is usually given more attention. The girl child at a very tender age is given cookery toys and dolls to play with. She is psychologically being prepared to be a mother and a cook. She is taught about the kitchen before she even knows how to comb her hair. She is being prepared to be a wife. She is being prepared for marriage. The girl child is made to understand that whatever the case she will end up at her home. With a degree or not, the end is still going to be the same.
While this little girl is playing with sufurias and frying pans, the boy child is given car toys and aeroplanes and guns. He is psychologically being taught that that is what makes up a good life. He grows up dreaming of owning cars and aeroplanes and to be a hero somewhere. He is given the priority to learn and gets the best education.
The girl child is taught that she is the symbol of dignity of the house. She is taught how to respect herself and people around her. She is strictly told to hold onto values and woe unto the girl who comes home with her stomach bulging out. She will be shunned away and the family would not want anything to do with her again. When a girl sneaks out she is beaten up and given punishments for destroying the name of the family. But what of the boy? Why is he tolerated when he comes past midnight? Why does no one bother to know who are his friends? Why isn't he taught how to be responsible as early as the girl child? Why doesn't no one know of his whereabouts and what he is doing out there? Why isn't he taught the value of family? Or even how to respect the woman?
When the girl is known not to be a virgin before marriage, suitors turn away and neighbours will talk about it forever. But isnt it funny that the suitor who turned away has slept around with a number of women and probably has a child out of wedlock? Ironically, this boy will sit with his mum and he will insist on getting a virgin wife and they will talk ill of all the girls who ruined their dignity by playing around. He will talk of wanting a girl with well manners but what of himself? Does he even have respect for himself to demand it from others? He will ask for a wife that can cook but can he even fix the tap? So is it that all these rules are only applied on the girl child? Why isnt the boy taught how to responsible from a tender age? Why isnt he taught the important things as changing the lamp as the girl is taught how to cook? Why isn't he taught that he also reflects the dignity and respect of the family name? Why isn't he taught that the woman is not a play toy and deserves utmost respect? Why isn't he taught and trained how to be a good father and a good husband long before he is one? Why isn't he taught how to protect the women of the family or the value of true love?
Why is it that the boy child is forgiven when he brings home a child out of wedlock and the grandma takes care of the child with love while the girl is chased away from home for the same reason? Why is it that this same boy who has made several girls abort is the same one who beats his sister for getting pregnant? Why do we make it okay that a boy who finally decided to settle down deserves a good wife why can't a girl with a dark past deserve a good husband for she too has decided to settle down? Why don't we teach the boy to grow as a gentleman as noble as we make the girl grow? Why do we make the girl’s mistakes so grave while the same when done with a boy then we just count it as a mistake and give lame excuses for it? Why ain't we as proud when a girl graduates with high dignitaries as much as we would be proud had it been the boy?
Maybe it's really high time we knew how to balance between the two. Maybe we should really make the boy understand what is expected from him as early as possible. Maybe we should appreciate more the girl who holds onto her dignity and chastity for her family's sake. Maybe we should be proud of the struggles of the girl as much as of the boy. Maybe we should also keep a keen eye on the whereabouts of the boy as of the girl. Maybe we should give both of them as much attention as they deserve. Maybe...just maybe we will then, be able to create a better society of high moral values and principles.
